End of Term Report for Coton, Form J3B

Overall Assessment/Results - Coton is a troublesome pupil that is failing to produce consistent results. We feel that with a little more application that this pupil could prosper however that could depend on solid practice in the close season. The impact of new on-field leadership is yet to be seen but could be critical.

• Attendance - B+ - would have been an "A" except for some late arrivals. There will be delays on the M11 on Saturdays and 2 dogs are insufficient to pull a bike at more than 5 mph: these are known facts and should be accounted for. Changing in cars on the way to games should also be discouraged.

• Appearance - B - generally well turned out with a few execptions. Younger members of the team should be encouraged to keep their shirts on.

• Batting - C+ - despite the loss to injury of the team's best batsman and the frequenct unavailability of the captain, an improvement over previous years. Only one calamitous collapse and regularly batting through the full 40 overs. Next year emphasis should be on scoring a few more runs during those overs and better pacing of the innings.

• Bowling - C - oh dear, a distinct dropping off in standards in terms of the runs allowed per wicket and the totals achieved by the opposition. Some mitigating factors in better pitches and an equivalent improvement in the scores achieved on the batting side.

• Fielding - C+ - there is an old adage that senior members of the team should be positioned at slip to avoid the unedifying prospect of watching them lumber after the ball. Unfortunately that would mean Coton deploying 6-7 slips, and their bowlers have not proved worthy of this. Some spectacular catches and not too many comedy moments. Could do better.

• Captaincy - A - perhaps an unfair assessment given the author of the report. During the season Coton tried a tactic of taking to the field with 11 captains despite evidence that this rarely, if ever, succeeds.

• Umpiring - B - a commendable desire to be honest which is out of line with many teams in the league and more members of the team volunteering to stand. With a little more "benefit of the doubt" applied better results could be achieved.

• Scoring - B+ - attempts to computerise the scoring were only partially successful due to the affects of sunlight (yes, there was some) and power. More successful was the late season introduction of legibility and couloured pencils to the scorebook.

• Pitch Preparation - A - Much improved this season. Thanks to all the crews that turned out during the week and at weekends to prepare the wicket. The hard work is reflected in higher scores, longer matches and less injuries. At least one visiting captain gave the pitch a "good" rating.

• Catering - B - some last minute scrambles (and I don't mean eggs) but always got there in the end. Balance of sandwiches and cakes about right. Coton and its visitors were never underfed as evidenced by the team profiles.

• Drinking - B- - a weaker performance than in previous seasons. Perhaps due to longer matches meaning later arrivals and a higher percentage of out-of-village players. This trend must be reversed otherwise action will need to be taken.

• Chuntering - A - If Leagues were won by how good a game a team can talk then Coton would have been challenging for promotion rather than struggling at the lower reaches of the division. An area that needs no improvement next season and a solid pass in prospect.

Beamers, Bouncers, Balsham and Bugger, we lost again

Another wet Saturday in Coton: it must be cricket season (I can just cut and paste this from previous reports).

After a little bit of panic on the Friday the weather did actually help out with a drying wind and Neil (with help from Billy, Scotch and Rob) was able to prepare a belter of a wicket. In a season where wins have been hard to come by the improvement in the Coton wicket has been a source of some satisfaction so thanks to everyone who put the time in: you know who you are!

With George missing, Rob became tosser-in-chief for the day. Scotch was back after ditching us for some roller coasters the previous weekend. One Haynes was replaced by the other, Rabboni was back after missing several games as was Rob McCorquodale and Dennis Finn made a 2nd appearance.

Someone will need to explain to me: how come Andy East has a spare pare of whites that fit Dennis? It must be said that Andy has a kit bag somewhat larger than the team’s kit bag so perhaps he has an assortment of sizes just in case?

There was a last minute panic when Courtney called off. Billy was quickly on the phone to Adam and with some subtle (and not too subtle) encouragement the latter agreed to play. Neil leaped into his car and dashed off to collect our XIth man, the latter changing into his whites in the car on the way back. Just what the police would have made of the scene if they had pulled Neil over whilst Adam was in mid-change we can only imagine. CWO Fox: have a word, please!

[We later found out that both Andy and I had the wrong mobile #s for Adam. So some very confused person has been getting messages if they were available on Saturday but for some strange reason never answered. This lead to much debate about services available on mobile phones, especially in Germany.]

The match progressed through its usual phases, the stand in tosser having won the toss and put Balsham in:

• Fielding & Bowling (including some raining)
• Eating
• Batting
• Cleaning
• Chuntering

With Neil still en route ferrying Adam we started with Billy and Rob. Billy was bowling some beautiful stuff interspersed with head high beamers at a batsman we later found out was legally blind. Rob carried on from where he had left off the previous week and bowled 5 economical overs without getting any luck. Billy struck first, helped out by a good running catch by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC. Neil had arrived back with Adam and a very relieved Simmons Junior was allowed to leave the playing area.

Ringing the bowling changes brought wickets. Dave “other big guy” Scotcher replaced Rob, and Neil took over from Billy. Neil proceeded in the Coton tradition of bowling body line short pitched deliveries at 4 year olds and vehemently disputing wides (in his defence, some of the so called wides were passing over the top of the stumps or brushing the batsman’s body). Dave continued his traditions of taking wickets, not conceding runs and diving in instalments.

I pause here to mention that Dave only came 4th in the slo-mo diving competition this week. There are honourable mentions for long-name Rob and Andy but the winner was short-name Rob who rather than taking two steps to the left to stop the ball, went to ground early, made a daisy chain and then had to shuffle forward as the ball may well not have reached him.

Dave bowled the first of the Balsham Juniors and then the other opener. On each occasion they could well have been LBW first but Dave wasn’t taking any chances (just as well, no LBWs were being given) and hit the stumps for good measure.

Neil produced two cracking yorkers to rearrange the stumps along with a sharp parry and catch from Gabriel at midwicket. Dave took two more wickets and Balsham were 76-8 and things were looking good. Scotch’s final figures 10 overs 5 maidens 10 runs 4 wickets – brilliant work.

76-8 became 156-8 and we did not feel any better that Balsham told us later that they had reversed the order to give the kids a chance as their season was more or less over since they were effectively relegated.

Dave Simmons made the teas and very fine they were to with plenty of cakes to give us our sugar boost. The teas were in fact almost as good as his wicket keeping, Dave having stepped into the breach left by a holidaying Alastair: our 2nd good stand in keeping performance in successive weeks.

And then we batted.

Gabriel and Dave got us off to now regulation slow and steady start but both perished in the 15th over looking to move the score along. Adam and Dennis took over (great fielding by the way, Dennis) and got us moving. Dennis was only able to connect with a couple of lusty blows before being bowled and was replaced by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC who produced his highest score for Coton.

Some classy looking shots from Adam propelled us forward (top score – 37, 5 fours) and kept us in the chase before he eventually succumbed to the 3rd change bowler. At 117-4 with around 8 overs left to get 40 runs we were looking good.

One over later it was 117-7. Billy Haynes had helped Rob “I’m still not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC put on 20 for the 5th wicket before becoming the first of 3 Coton players to succumb to Ford’s off cutters during the course of one over. Andy went first ball and although Rabboni survived the hat trick he didn’t last the over.

Tosser Rob joined “no way am I typing his whole name again as its too long” Rob but unfortunately the latter was to pick up a hamstring strain. Rabboni came on as a runner. The opposition were incredibly generous in letting us have someone young and quick run for someone who is, well, less young and somewhat slower.

The Two Robbies decided to see if they could get them in boundaries anyway before Rob 1 decided to end the confusion of the runner by getting himself out leg before (35, including 6 fours). There were around 20 to get off the last 2 overs.

Rob-2 smashed a 4 through square leg (literally, the fielder got several fingers to the ball on its way to the boundary). Dave Scotcher went through the steps that Chris Cooke had patiently taught him in nets and played a forward defensive that was immaculate in all respects other than hitting the ball and he (re) joined the primary club. Last man Neil came to the crease. A couple of quick singles, some wides and one unnecessary dive later we got to the last over needing 15 to win.

A single for Neil was followed by a maximum from Rob who having carefully noted that the fielder on the mid wicket boundary was only 3’6” smacked it 10 yards past him. Going for a repeat off the next ball Rob was then bowled with us 8 short of parity.

We’d given it a go but in the end not quite there, again.

We are still above Balsham and Weston Colville who both have two games left. We could still avoid relegation but even then there are rumours of reorganisations that may mean more than 2 teams get relegated. At the end of the day in a season with only 3 wins (none at home) in a season we can have no complaints about being relegated.

And so we headed down to the Plough for the eseential final part of any cricket match: the chuntering. Several hours later we had re-engineered events to the extent that we were unlucky not to have been promoted: missing players, retired players, missed catches, LBWs given or not given, teams fielding 1st team players, etc., etc. Yes, we were hard done by (not).

Play Cricket!
Drink Beer!
Talk Bollocks!

See you at the AGM.

One Fling to Rule Them All

Another wet Saturday in Coton: it must be cricket season. This was a day that our artificial pitch saved the match, the regular square being unplayable after all the recent rains. We welcomed NCI IVths to the Recreation Ground for our penultimate game of the season.

Expecting a cancellation Scotch had chosen to remain in Windsor. Rob had been intercepted en route to Millwall which turned out to be a blessing in disguise and there was a last minute scramble to get a full team. Mitchell was drafted in to make up the XI and Sam took up the gloves in the continued absence of Alastair.

Tosser-in-chief George was unable to fool the NCI skipper who duly inserted us to bat under threatening skies. Gabriel and Dave Simmons opened and put on 43 (our largest opening stand of the year) playing through a shower against bowlers that had difficulty with their footing. One in particular did a 10 yard slide along the wicket to prove a point. It took a change of bowling to disrupt the serene process Dave had been having problems penetrating the field (ooh, er) and finally smashed a loose ball straight at someone who could catch. This brought George to the wicket.

Meanwhile, several members of the team scrambled around to get a tea organised, Dave having been confounded by the on/off will/wont we play nature of the morning. A last minute dash to the garden centre produced rolls, cheese and ham to accompany the left over cakes from the previous week.

George promptly smashed a couple of fours before mistiming a sweep and lobbing a catch over his shoulder to the wicket keeper. Next ball, Richard was a victim to the same combination. Perhaps he was distracted by the swallows flitting around the sky? Whatever, he feathered a sharply turning ball into the keepers gloves and we were suddenly three down.

Adam came in and along with Gabriel (yes, he’s still there) propelled us along towards the hundred before becoming the first of 3 wickets to fall on 97. The second of these was the unluckiest. The players having crossed on the fall of the wicket, Jack was at the non-striker’s end. Gabriel played the ball square on the leg side, the batsmen set off for a quick single only to be undone by a sharp throw and direct hit. 99 times out of 100 that would have been a safe run but Jack was run out without facing (does that make him eligible for the pre-primary club?).

Sam & Andy also perished without scoring and it was left to Mitchell and Gabriel to see out the innings. Gabriel ran himself out off the last ball going for a suicidal 2nd run but his job of holding the innings together had been executed to perfection: 37 runs off 125 balls had been done. It was a shame that the batsmen at the other didn’t – for the most part – respond and as so often happens in Coton games Mr Extras was the 2nd top scorer. 116-8 seemed about 20-30 runes short and so it was to prove.

By the time we fielded the weather had improved. One the plus side it meant that the bowlers weren’t doing a triple lutz on each delivery but on the minus the outfield was faster. Fast and slow was the order of the day with Neil from the Footpath end and Rob from the top end. In Rob’s first over the opening batsman was undone by a ball that moved a long way to clip off stump whilst aiming over mid wicket. Neil had a couple of straight LBW decisions denied and the NCI skipper put the ball through George’s hands at point before he had scored. Another breakthrough would have been deserved at this juncture but it wasn’t to be.

The NCI skipper and wicket keeper accumulated steadily from an array of bowlers: Adam, Jack, George and Dave all tried without luck whilst Rob took on the Scotcher mantle. That doesn’t mean the oldest, slowest bowler on the team (but he was that as well) but the most economical: 7 overs, 8 runs, 1 wicket. He had found a line and length that made scoring very difficult.

We finally got the breakthough when a returning Neil castled the second opener. NCI only needed 20 to win at this point. The wicket brought their number four to the crease, and resulted in one of the season’s champagne moments. Richard had now entered the attack. After two steady overs he started the next with a high full toss no ball that the NCI skipper smacked to square leg. In a quick piece of thinking, Jack declined to catch the ball realising it would have not been out. By this time the NCI batsman had joined his captain at the striker’s end only to be informed that he needed to return to whence he had came. Jack propelled the ball to Richard who removed the bails and we had a run out. As we gathered to congratulate Jack and Richard the NCI batsman recovered his bat. You could sense that an explosion was imminent and sure enough half way back to the pavilion Mr Throwdo let fly with a string of expletives and a bat which arced through the air with a flight longer than one of Gabriel’s biggest hits.

Unnerved by this, Richard served up an over of wides, full tosses and no balls that yielded the 20 runs needed to win. Game over. NCI had won with 8 overs to spare and only 3 wickets down. By now the weather was positively balmy and we retired with the pub with (some of) the NCI team to do our best grumpy old men impersonations in the sunshine. One more game to go against bottom of the league Balsham: they have dodged us once, lets hope they don’t do it again!

A final note: thanks to Jenny for keeping score. It was quite a novelty for Coton to have a neat, accurate book with colour coding for the bowlers. She didn’t seem too put off by the standard of cricket on offer.

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT CRICKETER

As there was no action to report last weekend, how about a poem from Michael Green who wrote a book called The Art of Coarse Cricket some years ago?

(An Ancient Cricketer goeth in to bat.)

It is an Ancient Cricketer
And he stoppeth one of three.
The others whistle past his ear
Or strike him on the knee.

The pavilion gate is open wide
And he is last man in.
With creaking joints he walketh forth,
Thirty to make to win.

(He sendeth a catch to first slip, who droppeth it.)

His bat is in his skinny hand,
There are three slips thinks he.
He snicks a ball up to the first,
Eftsoons the catch drops he.

(His opponents beat their bosoms.)

A chance! A chance! Another chance!
The Cricketer giveth three.
The fielding captain beats his breast
And curseth him roundly.

The field was there, the field was here,
So thick upon the ground;
They crouched and growled, appealed and howled
The Cricketer's bat around.

Fielders, fielders, everywhere,
About his bat did creep.
Fielders, fielders everywhere,
Nor anyone in the deep.

(The Cricketer doth fear he hath an hole in his bat.)

God save thee, Ancient Cricketer!
Have mercy on thy soul!
Like many men before thee gone,
Thy bat must have an hole.

Yet still the Cricketer batteth on,
A full half-hour bats he.
He doth not score a
single run
Though he trieth mightily.

(Although he scoreth no runs, the Cricketer helpeth his side to win.)

'Tis done! 'Tis done! The game is won
And well and truly fought,
The Cricketer limpeth happily in
Although his score was nought.

He batteth best, who scoreth most,
And hath but little luck.
Yet though the Cricketer made no runs
It was a noble duck.

Fen Ditton do the double

Let’s start on a positive note. The weather was great. It was downhill after that I’m afraid to say. Well, actually it wasn’t all bad. There were some excellent performances. Unfortunately 2 of the best were from 2 Fen Ditton batsmen.
Fen Ditton turned up with what they described as a “bowling line-up”. Hmm. If only we’d got to see more of their batting line-up we might be able to comment further on this.

We batted first and Gabriel opened with Dave. After a few overs it didn’t look like the bowling would be very threatening. Dave got his head down to have a look at the bowling and reached 1 when he got his head down again and charged down the other end for a quick leg bye. Gabriel hadn’t heard a call of “yes” and stayed there whilst awaiting the result of a very optimistic lbw appeal. Ross played a very fine shot but straight at the cover point fielder who gratefully took the catch. Meanwhile Gabriel was doing what he has been doing most of the season by holding the top order together and putting away bad balls until he missed a straight to be LBW to their spinner.

Richard looked like he was going to continue his good recent run of form but then gave their irritatingly accurate spinner a return catch for 10. At the half way stage we were 52-4 and needed a George special, which he, along with a considerable amount of help from the middle order, provided. Adam played sensibly for his 13 and then Jack came in, had a look, then carted the bowling to cow corner very effectively, albeit briefly for his 16. Not wishing to devalue George’s innings, then came the most entertaining one from Andy. Andy’s first 6 scoring strokes were all hit for four. We were wondering why he didn’t try harder to give George the strike, so he showed us. His last 4 scoring strokes were all singles taking him to 28 in the penultimate over. It was around then that disaster struck when George dived to make his ground taking a quick 2. Pulling a muscle in an area which made volunteers to rub it better somewhat thin on the ground (it was either the dive or the applauding of Andy’s innings which caused the injury) George did enough damage to prevent him from either running or bowling.

This was probably the decisive point of the match. We would have been better off George being run out for 4 less and having him available to bowl, not that George’s batting average agrees with this. Neil had a legitimate heave and got himself bowled in the same over. That left George and Scotch to hobble a few off the last over with George being 73 not out at the end with a total of 177 for 8. That made the last 20 overs worth 125. Is the batting order upside down?

Tea was prepared, delivered and cling filmed by Gabriel. The sandwiches were very neatly arranged in straight rows with a very even distribution of fillings making choosing the ones with the most tuna quite tricky or pointless depending on your point of view. The many weeks of rolling and mowing the pitch have clearly contributed some useful, neat sandwich making skills.

Adam found himself in the unusual position of wicket-keeper in Alastair’s absence and he made a good job of it too with the occasional wide ball and a few keeping low. Ross opened and was quickly into an accurate spell where Fen Ditton found it difficult to score. Neil bowled some excellent deliveries, but probably suffered from having to bowl in tandem with the accurate Ross, so their skipper/keeper who batted at number 6 in the away game had a go at Neil and put away a few boundaries. Ross bowled through his 10 overs and got their skipper out lbw eventually, but not before he had made a handy 19. As far as success went that was it for us. Richard and Scotch bowled 9 overs for 51 and 7 overs for 34 respectively. The Fen Ditton batsmen found enough singles and the occasional boundary so that the pressure was never really on. Adam took the pads off and handed them to George who managed to creak into a kneeling position long enough to put them on and take over behind the stumps so that Adam could bowl in tandem with Jack until Fen Ditton reached their target.

Being a bit slower than Fen Ditton at getting a match report done (and scoring runs and taking wickets, as it turns out) I can now reveal from their match report that the 68 not out by their opener, James, is his first score in double figures for Fen Ditton and the 62 not out by H is his first 50. Oh dear. We would rather they got their records against someone else in future please. Not this year though – please lose your last 6 matches, Fen Ditton.

From our relative positions in the league and on paper we should probably have done better in this fixture. The high points were the batting of Andy, Jack, Adam and George (although he must work on his diving without pulling muscles) and the bowling of Ross and the first attempt behind the stumps for Adam. Another high point is the praise of our pitch from the opposition. And so on to Balsham…..

Weston Ho!

Just a few brief notes on the Weston Colville game during my temporary exile. We were just completing the work on the wicket when the Westons arrived at Coton Rec. In the light of the result perhaps we should be doing less! The weather was not looking too promising and, judging by the reactions of the Weston players neither was the wicket. How wrong they were. I figured that they had talked themselves into a collapse so putting them in was the right thing to do. We had after all dismissed them cheaply on their wicket and there was an air of optimism in the dressing room.

It was a very different looking Weston squad than we had seen the first time around and this led to some conjecture that they had loaded their team with 1st XI players. Subsequent research showed they hadn’t but that didn’t make it feel any better.

As we prepared to start the heavens opened and delayed the start. I have seen in other match reports that we have had some sunny days at the Rec but I haven’t played in any of them yet. This was to prove the only weather delay and it gradually got better through the day.

Neil opened the bowling with new recruit Courtney Henville and struck in his first over when the opener pulled the ball straight to Mitch Haynes at square leg. So far everything was looking good. Courtney bowled some killer deliveries mixed with some nervous beamers and wides. Neil – talking a break from his cross country hike – pounded in. Further breakthroughs were not forthcoming as Rob juggled the bowling in search of wickets.

Rob, Scotch, Adam & Richard all tried their luck and we did end up taking 5 more wickets while Weston piled on runs at almost 7 an over. Richard took 3, assisted by an Alastair stumping and good catches from Mitch and Sam. Sam was having an infuriating time in the field as the ball passed him in the air just out of catching ranges on multiple occasions. I thought of placing fielders one yard either side of him as the ball would have been straight to them every time.

Scotch grabbed two wickets: catches from Adam and Rad. Meanwhile Weston’s opening bat completed a not out century: just 100 more than he had scored in the first game and that was probably the key difference in them reaching 269-6.

After some fine teas courtesy of Adam we followed up with our worst batting since the opening day of the season.

Alastair was first to chipping a simple catch and then Richard attempted a suicide run to a ball that was in the wicket keeper’s hands.

Thereafter it was a procession of wickets. Sam went to a wild swing and Gabriel to another simple catch before Adam and Neil effected something of a recovery. Mitch smashed a loose ball straight at cover and it was left to Courtney to secure a second batting point with a top score 22 in 11 balls. We ended up 170 short for our worst defeat of the year.

The other results combined to leave us 6th, clear of the relegation spots. With 3 of our remaining games being against the teams below us it is going to be a tight ending to the season again.

Runs in the Sun by our Junior Match Reporter

At last – a sunny day for a Coton home match. In an odd season for the fixture list where we are over half way through the season and have only just played our 3rd home game we have finally found that the sun can shine on the Coton rec on a Saturday. There were 5 changes from last week’s line up, with the most significant one being Rob not playing. That might not seem the most significant to all of you but for me it is, as I have been asked to take on the role of match report writer.

This is not the first time I have been asked to do this so I do have some experience to fall back on. I lost my match report virginity many years ago when asked by a previous club with a rotation policy of authors to write the report. I replied “but I haven’t done it before and I have no idea how to.” I was concerned. The reply I received was “just write a load of b****cks, that’s what everyone else does.” I thought – maybe I can do this after all.

We welcomed the fine folk of Romsey Town to Coton. After the away game at Trinity Old Field earlier in the season we were hoping that the strip would not be too embarrassing compared with their snooker table pitch, and indeed outfield. There wasn’t much we could have done about the outfield but the strip was in fine fettle which is testament to the hard work put in by the tireless pitch preparers. It played very well indeed. To the tune of over 400 runs.

Romsey batted first and we knew we needed a breakthrough early as the Romsey openers have racked up some seriously big partnerships this season. George opened the bowling from the far end (which I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that in the intervening overs he would be fielding at fine leg under the trees in the only bit of shade on the hottest day of the year) with Neil taking the footpath end (so he would be fielding at fine leg a good length delivery away from his own sofa when George was bowling). After a slightly expensive opening 4 overs George produced one of his nasty slower balls that turned in to a full toss. Under normal circumstances we would all love to receive knee high full tosses. But when you are expecting fast-medium inswinging leg cutters pitched 2 inches outside off just short of a good length some adjustments are necessary. Well, he got a bit of bat on it which was just enough to edge it down on to his stumps. 24-1. For the next few over runs were very hard to come by as George and Neil were accurate and most shots that were played went to fielders. Then there was a magnificent piece of dummying in the deep from Scotch. A very comfortable two was turned in a risky 3 when Scotch deliberately threw the ball 2 feet behind him lulling the batsmen into a false sense of security for a third. He clearly planned this all along as there would be no other way that he could have picked the ball up so quickly and winged it in to the keeper to remove the bails with the number 3 so far short of his ground. 39-2. Then followed a healthy partnership where the number 4, who couldn’t get the ball off the square in the away game, got the ball off the square several times. Poor Scotch suffered at his hands but was hampered by an injury. We’re not sure whether this was sustained during his Jonty Rhodes impression. Before we started there were murmurs that Nick Clarke will give us early chances and we must take them or we’ll be in trouble. He didn’t, we therefore couldn’t and we were. The most likely way to get him out looked to be waiting for him to get too tired to bat. That happened at around the end of the 40th over. He faced the last ball of the innings and took a single whilst his team mates hovering over the scorebook were shouting “RUN!” I don’t think he could have. He ended up 99 not out.

Adam bowled well getting a lot of movement but no luck and Rob McCorquodale also bowled well and took a very good caught and bowled. 93-3. Then followed a very tiring period in the field due to the heat and lack of wickets. They didn’t give many chances. When George came back from the Footpath end (he wasn’t really going to get away with hiding under trees any longer) we finally got an lbw decision going our way. Many previous ones looked not un-adjacent. 180-4. Romsey finished on 221 for 4.

Tea was courtesy of our captain which was a wonderful spread. A culinary discussion took place about whether a cheese sandwich needs Branston, but the greatest achievement was the serving of chocolate biscuits which had not melted.

Alastair and Gabriel opened the batting and the bowling looked to be fairly unthreatening. So it was quite a surprise when Gabriel played a forcing shot to short mid off to be out for 8. 33-1. What looked like the match winning partnership then took place. Alastair and Richard batted very well and at a good rate until the first ball after the 2nd drinks break. Yes, I did say second drinks break, which was due to the extreme heat (did I mention how hot it was?) Richard crawled towards the cup and jug carriers complaining about dehydration. After what happened the next ball we might have been better off if he’d remained dehydrated, but no complaints about such a fine 44 in a partnership of 93. 126-2. Dave then joined Alastair for a partnership of 44 whilst almost keeping up with the asking rate of 8 an over, but not quite. (Rob – do you also have that Michael Vaughan feeling when referring to yourself in the 3rd person?) By this time fielders were disappearing towards the boundary making 4’s hard to come by. Lots of sprinting of the first run to get a few 2’s got more runs than was sensible in that heat until Dave yorked himself trying to launch a full ball. 170-3. This brought George to the wicket with the chase well set up for a George special. He sensibly played himself in whilst taking 1s and 2s before the big shots came out. During one of the quick runs Alastair finally succumbed to the heat and failed to make it being run out for a heroic 75. 188-4.

Adam had quite a go at one delivery from the top end, It was very high and well taken by their sub fielder Richard, who only came along to watch his son play. Richard had been saying that he might contemplate joining us as he couldn’t get into the Romsey side. If he’d palmed it over the boundary for 6 we might have been more welcoming. On the other hand he can catch. Either side of this George lofted a 6 at each end. The second was off the first ball of the last over when 12 were needed to win. The cheers that went up when that cleared the rope (actually it cleared many of the trees by the Footpath too. Well, more of an “instead” than a “too”, as we don’t actually have a rope.). As it was so big and as we were umpiring we had hoped for it to be signalled as a 12 which would have been handy, but our ability to play within the spirit of the game often outweighs our ability. Desperate (and occasionally swift) running from George, Neil and Andy got us to 220 at the end of the over which included 2 run outs, and a loss by 1 run! #

The highlights were the bowling of George (2-39) and Neil (0-42) who both bowled their full 10 overs at pace in extreme heat, an all-round batting performance with some very good running between the wickets to get 220 with Alastair, Richard and George in particular giving it a damned good go.

To summarise – phew! Whether this applies to the finish or the heat, decide for yourselves.

Numbers. Coton lose to Wilbrahams

Looking back through recent reports it seems to me that there are way too many numbers involved. “So and so scored this and then someone else took that many wickets” and so on. So this week I shall attempt, totally without a safety net, a match report without any numbers.

This week’s game was in the bucolic setting of Great Wilbraham. The ground was asymmetric with long boundaries on the Church side and shorter ones towards the road/clubhouse which included an interesting kink to circumnavigate the club house and changing room. The team that turned out was very different that which plied their trade at Weston Colville the previous week: Rob McC, Rab, Pete and George were all missing. Who knows whether we would even have been able to raise a team if England hadn’t been so obliging in their ineptness? In came Jack Bowden – last seen at Parker’s Piece – and there were debuts for Gordon Roper, Dennis Finn and Matt Chandler, (not Ross’s son unless he is very, very tall for his age and shaving very early).

Neil and Rob opened the bowling but it wasn’t until we brought on the change bowlers that we made a break through. Adam, Neil and Scotch all turned in good spells. Matt was wayward but served up some unplayable (and apparently uncatchable) balls in a short spell. A net session with Dr Sparnon and Coach Chris could sort this out. The breakthrough came courtesy of a fine catch by Neil running in from the boundary and tumbling forward to secure a wicket for Adam. A few overs later Adam returned the favour back peddling calmly to take a catch off Neil, the ball having looped over the former’s head at point.

Good catching was generally the order of the day. In Matt’s debut bowl for Coton and a rank long hop was smashed straight at Rob in the covers. The latter failed to get out of the way fast enough, parried the ball and held on the rebound. Rob repeated this off Scotch, this time intercepting a savage pull at midwicket and again using the parry and catch routine. Rob tells me that he still has the seam imprinted on his hand as we approach the middle of the following week. There were less dramatic but just as important catches for Dennis and Matt. In between these Alastair managed to hold a catch between his legs off Neil having used pretty much every other body part to keep the ball off the ground on its way down: not pretty, but just as effective.

So, Wilbraham’s batted out their full allocation of overs: we were unable to break the final partnership. The wickets were shared between Neil, Dave, Adam, Rob and Matt: Neil and Dave taking as many each as the Adam, Rob and Matt did in combination (there is enough info here to work out how many each person took – if you don’t get it, see me after class).

The total was large and our target was a nice round number which could be expressed in Roman numerals that otherwise could be taken to mean “cricket club”. [I don’t think anything in that sentence constitutes a number.]

And then we batted and here comes the tricky bit – how to explain an innings with no numbers.

Gabriel and Alastair opened and put on the highest opening partnership for Coton this season before the former was pinned in front by a fast full pitched delivery. Wilbrahams had probably the best attack we have seen this season with quick accurate bowlers supplemented by a canny spinner. It was the latter that did most of the damage taking more wickets than the rest of the bowlers combined (and the same as the sum of Neil and Dave’s efforts, so you can figure that out as well…). It was enough to warrant a jug and just before we left he was charging glasses from a watering can full of lager.

With all the rookies on the team it was likely to be a chaotic batting performance. Jack “the shot” Bowden threatened briefly then Dennis clobbered the spinner for a maximum to the church wall along with some other lusty blows that sped across the distant boundary. However, it was only a matter of time before he missed a ball that span into his stumps. Alastair finally succumbed as well: but only after top scoring.

It was more or less a procession from there on in. Matt didn’t trouble the scorers, Adam couldn’t repeat his match winning performance of the previous week and Andy hit a few blows before being undone by the young pace man (who had been wound up by Rob warning him for bowline beamers – Rob says “sorry”, Andy). Neil hung around for a while, Scotch almost screwed himself into the ground trying to pull the spinner before Gordon was palpably LBW (I know we give too many but sometimes it’s just too bloody obvious to avoid raising the finger) leaving Rob stranded at the other end.

Apart from a spell at the beginning of the innings we hadn’t looked like chasing down the total: we would have needed to score just less than as many again to have passed the target.

We did pick up enough bonus points to stay out of the relegation spots: NCI lost and Balsham are no longer winless having defeated Weston Colville. Next week it’s home game. These have been so far and few between this season so let me know if you need the OS map reference.

And there it was: the statistics free match report: not one number.

Doh.

Back to winning ways - a grand day in Weston Colville

This week’s venue for the Coton Cricketers was Weston Colville, deep in the wilds of South East Cambridgeshire. It was a beautiful day and the match was played on one of the nicest grounds that we have played on in the last few years. A white picket fence surrounded the playing area and with the hedges and trees beyond it was an idyllic scene of English Village Cricket (until the players got there). I’m sure Richard would have found something to watch in the foliage had he been there.

From the team that succumbed to Wilbrahams, Dave Simmons, Richard & Ross were unavailable, but Captain George was back and Adam was available again (although sadly, his shoes were not) and Sam stepped in following a couple of late scratches.

We lost the toss, and were asked to field first. We had noted the very short boundaries straight of the wicket and protected those at both ends. Like The Fellowship of Ring we had 9 to start the game, so the rest of the field were deployed around the bat to prevent runs (“one ring to stop the single…”). Eschewing the shoeless-ness of Hobbits, Adam scrounged some walking shoes from Gabriel: I hope the latter has some strong odour eaters. Anyway, George took the lack of fielders out of the equation by forcing the opening bat to play on: 0-1 in the 1st over.

Rad had now arrived at the ground. He had been delayed by a bad accident on the M11. Surely even the police have spotted the correlation by now? Saturday morning, Coton cricket, Rad on the road, crash on the M11: you think they would close it down just in case. While Rad was applying war paint, adding padding and whatever else he does in his pre-match preparation our other straggler Rob McCorquodale arrived and took to the field.

George was bowling with control and aggression from the top end whilst Neil was wanging them down (his technical description) from the other. George soon picked up a 2nd wicket when the ball was spooned over his head and Sam took a fine catch running around from mid on. Neil was frustrated by a series of close misses and edges that – with the short boundary – flew away for 4 or in once case, 6. At least the regular searches for the ball in the bushes and beyond gave him a chance have a lie down, catch his breath and work on the tan.

The remaining opener finally got one top edge too many and skied the ball to a charging Alastair behind the stumps: 50-3, quickly scored on a ground where we thought we may be looking at chasing 200+.

Neil – refreshed from the regular hold ups in play – delivered a fast full pitch. The ball steepled into the air again and Neil let out a stentorian howl of “Neil’s…..”. We all looked aghast. Surely Neil has more faith in his fielders than to call for a caught and bowled when the ball is on its way to the wicket keeper? Apparently not. As Alastair safely gloved the ball we all proceeded to give Neil advice on his recent eye surgery. He should really ask for his money back!

This was the breakthrough we needed. 3 more wickets fell while Weston added just six runs: two to Scotch (who had replace George) and a further success for Neil. At this point Scotch had two runs for two wickets off three overs, both of those runs being wide. The 2nd wicket was completed courtesy of a very nonchalant catch by Adam in the gully.

Adam (can I play with my shirt over my shoulders?) replaced a perspiring Neil and joined in the fun with two quick wickets. The first removed a young Westonian who had just played an exquisite cover drive that drew nods of approval from assembled wizened fielders (some of whom hadn’t played as good a shot in 30 years or more). The second removed the plucky junior that had come in at number 11. Sensing a kill, Gabriel moved in to stand at arms length from the quivering young chap who obligingly prodded the ball into his hands. Really – we should report him to the Child Welfare Officer! In between these, Scotch had picked up a 3rd wicket. Weston had gone for just 90 runs in a little over half of their allotted overs with the wickets spread between the four bowlers. The catching was much better today than last week’s debacle, only a difficult C&B to George not sticking.

After tea, George and Gabriel marched out to the middle. George looked like he wanted to win the match inside 10 overs (on a promise, perhaps?) but succumbed to a catch off a loose shot in the 3rd over. Gabriel (“not quite a fantastic as The Fantastic Mr Fox”) Fox settled into his role as the sheet anchor and with Alastair pushed the score along and it was something of a surprise when Alastair played on. The bowling had not looked very threatening but two down soon became three.

Rob McC took Gabriel’s exhortation to “get well forward” to the spinner a little too far. The expert on the opinion on the side line was that Rob would either smack the bowler into the street, or get out. As it happened, by the time the ball nestled into the keeper’s gloves Rob was standing close to the bowler and Scotch after thinking long and hard (just how far was he out) gave the stumping.

Sam now joined Gabriel and contributed 11 to a quick partnership of 11 whilst Gabriel continued to admire the match going on around him. Adam was next up – having put his shirt on – and reeled off some fine shots including one drive that was probably even better than the one that we drooled about earlier.

Gabriel departed after another obdurate display of holding the innings together. It was exactly what was needed in the circumstance. As Neil pontificated: we have lots of “batsmen” that can score a quick 10 (“can” is important here, it contrasts nicely with “do”) but we have been lacking someone to play longer innings – now we have that person.

Adam was joined by Rab and the game was soon over – won by 5 wickets with 11 overs remaining. In the last partnership of 16, Rab made a gallant 0 not out.

So: fine bowling (& fielding) all around and a solid batting performance with Adam top scoring with 22 (not out) and Gabriel providing 21. The win moves us up one place (above NCI) and next week it’s on to Wilbrahams for the return. This marks the half way point in the season. How will we fare in the second half?

Rad's teas highlight on gloomy day

The author of the 20/20 match report earlier in the blog wisely said “If you can't think of a way to begin a piece, use a quotation”. So I have, albeit not a very good one.

Why does it always rain at home games? In what was only our second appearance at The Rec this season we were once again greeted by leaden skies. The rain held off long enough to toss up. Captain Lucky had heard that the weather would improve later and chose to bat on the premise that it would be better for 11 Wilbrahamians to suffer in the rain, well, that and the fact that Rad was still making the teas.

Just as we were about to start the rains came down again. During our innings we had to come off twice more but in the end we did get a complete game in but unfortunately it ended in defeat.

Dave dropped down the order so Alastair opened with Gabriel. The latter – in true Boycottian mode – held the innings together with a careful and patient 32 whilst Alastair fell victim to a catch behind on 12. The young Wilbraham opening bowler was generating a lively pace and the Coton wicket offered him some good carry and bounce. Richard produced his best knock of the season to date and we progressed along steadily.

Gabriel was almost out to the last ball before the first of the two rain breaks. As the bowler ran in the heavens opened and unable to see the ball clearly a catch was spooned to mid off who obligingly dropped it. The umpire - who should have stopped play a few seconds earlier - was very relieved.

We reached 80-1 but then entered into the kind of collapse that we seemed to have put behind us this year. Gabriel’s occupation of the crease was finally brought to an end, Ross smashed his second ball back to mid on for a catch and Richard was adjudged LBW. In the blink of an eye we had lost 3 wickets for 7 runs. And it got worse, debutant Rabboni “Rab” Rabi was dismissed for 4, Rob top edged a hook to mid wicket and Dave Simmons was undone by a yorker. 3 wickets down on same score and 6 in 12 runs.

We woke Neil up from his jet lag to put some pads on. It was a bit of a give away when his request for a guard was “I’ll have the beef and a glass of red wine, please”. He was still able to bat through to the end whilst Dave Scotcher was run out going for a 3rd run on the last ball. We had batted through our 40 overs for 108-9, Gabriel and Richard (& extras) being the main contributors.

Rad had arrived with the teas and very good they were too. Thanks for that, I particularly liked the Branston sandwiches with a hint of ham.

We fielded in improving conditions although both Neil and Ross had problems with the foot holds and the whole team had problems catching. We were into double figures with the chances that went down and that would ultimately be our undoing. Neil was the first to be relieved and Dave broke the opening partnership. Ross soon added a 2nd – both had the foresight to hit the stumps and sensibly remove the dependency on fielders.

Ross, bowling well but struggling with footholds, then succumbed to a hamstring injury and had to leave the field. Paul Bradbury hasn’t been able to play this year due to back problems but he gamely agreed to substitute in the field whilst Rob took over bowling. Rob promptly removed himself from the attack in favour of a proper bowler.

In the stygian gloom more chances went down before we grabbed a couple more wickets. Scotch took a caught and bowled (how come bowlers never drop the ball from their own bowling), and finally a back peddling Pete Brooks held on to a catch to remove the Wilbraham opener who had by now had more lives than a whole litter of kittens. Pete’s adoring fan club were seriously impressed by the catch – I wonder if they realise just how rare and event they had witnessed?

Wilbrahams limped over the line with 4 wickets down and 4 overs to spare. The bonus points we had gathered were enough to keep us above Weston Colville (our next opponents) and Balsham (yet to win this season).

So, Captain Lucky’s lucky streak ran out and it’s with a sense of relief that he hands back the reigns to King George for the upcoming games. He was right about the weather though.

Fulbourn defeated: Antipodean ringer to the rescue - welcome back Ross

In the absence of Captain George who was on a school trip (“stuck on a boat of the coast of Essex” we learned later) Rob lead the Coton team to the return engagement at Fulbourn. When they visited Coton earlier in the season the game was characterised by persistent drizzle and the need to have nominated ball dryers in the field. The weather was much better today. Ross stepped into the team for his first game of the season and Sam and Rob McCorquodale were back on duty replacing Pete and Adam.

Alastair had arrived on time, and Rads was telling all and sundry that he had been there since the early hours of the morning. This time it was Neil & Ross who made the late appearance after taking the scenic tour of East Cambridgeshire.

Last season I was very lucky at losing the toss but getting the opposition to do what we wanted. This season I continued with the tradition of losing the toss but this time the opposition were not so obliging and we were inserted to bat.

I can’t remember whether it was at this point that Neil started to build his excuses for the match (“I’m running on painkillers”) or if waited until it was his turn to bowl – whatever, it seemed to work.

We got off to the traditional Coton start with first Dave Simmons and then Gabriel being LBW. By the time Gabriel went, Mr Extras was doing a sterling job of keeping the scoreboard ticking over so Gabriel’s duck could well be the longest in Coton history. Ross entered the fray for his first bat of

the season and with the consistent Alastair put on 48 for the 3^rd wicket. Ross was looking in control with fine shots including a pull that left the ground, crossed the road and entered a nearby garden. Next time we looked a guard dog was sitting at the gate and this probably deterred people from aiming for the short boundary too often.

It was then something of a surprise when Ross fished at one outside the off stump and feathered a catch to the keeper. His 25 was to prove the top score. Alastair went soon after for 23 and we then lost wickets regularly to decline from 74-3 to 119 all out. A vintage Coton batting performance that we thought we had gotten away from in recent weeks. Sam, Rob M, Richard and Neil all made starts without going on to big scores (although to be fair in Neil’s case he was trying to shepherd the tail and was left high and dry by a succession of care bears).

Painkiller Neil opened the bowling with Rob (captain’s prerogative). The latter bowled rubbish for the 3^rd game in a row and quickly removed himself from the attack (also the captain’s prerogative) to avoid further humiliation. Meanwhile Neil, perhaps bowling within himself due to his pains, took the first three wickets to fall and Scotch – although not quite as niggardly as previous weeks took a 4^th leaving Fulbourn struggling at 45-4. The fielding in support of the bowling was very sharp with Dave Simmons and Rads taking good catches.

Neil was visibly flagging towards the end of his spell and made way for Ross to have his first bowl of the season. The latter reeled off 7 overs of accurate, skidding cutters. A fifth wicket went down on 60 which meant that Fulbourn were exactly half way to their target with half the wickets down. The game was in the balance. For the next few overs the initiative switched hands a few times. Firstly there was a catch by Gabriel off Scotch’s bowling. Not just a catch but a well executed running & tumbling catch in the deep. As the ball went up 10 Coton players collectively held their breath hoping that this would be the one – and so it was. I don’t think I have been in a team so celebratory over a single catch and the significance must have been lost on Fulbourn: 68-6, advantage Coton.

Fulbourn’s keeper then took charge with a series of lusty blows. The ball was often in the air but evading fielders and he led two sizable partnerships that moved the momentum back Fulbourn’s way. Ross broke both partnerships. The first was a catch behind by Alastair. It’s worth sidetracking for a moment here to reflect on Alastair’s appealing. With each successive appeal more of the apparel is flung to the ground in joy, gloves, inners, masks are scattered as he runs to congratulate the bowler. I am expecting that before the end of the season he will be stripping off completely for a key wicket. On this occasion with the ball safely pouched he want to do one of those throw it in the air moves and fumbled the ball. It was obviously securely caught before this but from the sidelines it looked like he might have dropped it. 87-7 and the match back in the balance.

We then get to the 27^th over. David had bowled 9 in a row. He was looking a bit shattered. What gave this away was the moment that he stopped the ball on the fine leg boundary before, in a very Robert Green like move, carefully kicking it over the line for 4. I’d asked Neil to warm up and the Fulbourn batsmen had obviously overheard this and in a frantic effort to avoid facing Neil three of them missed balls from Ross who rattled the timbers on each occasion. As Ross carefully moved his field 6” forward and 3” to the left before each ball 107-7 became 107 all out over the course of the over and we were home by 12 runs, Ross 5-24.

For once, we didn’t concede more extras than we obtained. The difference (11 in our favour) was only one less than the winning margin proving the value of tight bowling in these tight games.

We celebrated the win as if we had won a cup final. In reality the win was enough to lift us out of the relegation spots which are now occupied by Balsham (no wins yet this year) and Weston Colville. On Saturday we finally get a home game. A quirk of the fixtures is that 7 of our first 9 games are away, and then later in the season 6 out of 7 are at home. We welcome Wibrahams II to the Recreation Ground. The strip is looking in fine fettle. Hopefully the council will have harvested the pasture that surrounds it otherwise we will risk losing shorter players in the outfield. I am reading up on the umpiring procedure for lost balls now.

The Coton Twenty/20: Jokers all round!

If you can't think of a way to begin a piece, use a quotation." Well frankly that's poor advice and anyone who followed it would be mad. And mad just happens to be one word that springs to mind when thinking of the afternoon of Bank Holiday mayhem which was the inaugural Coton Twenty20 fund-raising extravaganza on May 31st 2010. Under mischievous clouds, 26 free-spirited individuals congregated for a festival of batting, bowling and burgers which was not only a massive hoot, thoroughly enjoyed by the players and the impressive crowd, which may even have outnumbered the active combatants, but also raised £500 for Coton Cricket Club's "Heavy Roller Fund".

Having organised the teams, conveniently known as Team 1 and Team 2, in honour of the order in which they batted, and spent an hour getting to know Al Breward's fiendishly complex (and hugely lucrative) rules, battle commenced with Team 1's opening pair of Gabriel Fox and Abid Abdulali, who carted the ball around the Coton Rec with gay abandon in an opening stand of 58 in six overs. At that point Team 2 seized the initiative thanks to the deadly bowling of Coton CC stalwarts Dave Scotcher and Ross Chandler, who ripped out the top order to leave Team 1 pegged back at 69-4 after 9 overs. A resurgence was led by young Ollie Bennett with two 4s and Jack "One Shot" Bowden, who embarrassedly confesses to having just a single cricket stroke in his armoury. Unfortunately for Team 2 it happens to be a six smashed over midwicket. Four of these later, Bowden was invited to retire, having passed the pre-determined run limit for the game. Team 1 eventually staggered to 142-9 in their 20 overs, with Fox and Bowden both retired-not out on 32, Abdulali 23 and ludicrously miserly bowling figures of 2-1-4-3 from Chandler.

Team 2 set off in pursuit of their target with the immediate and canny use by Dave Simmons of a joker to prevent himself being out. The jokers had been auctioned off at the beginning of the match, raising healthy funds for the club, and while Team 1 generally forgot to use theirs, Team 2 were not so careless. Simmons, immune from dismissal for the first 4 overs, proceeded to explore every known way to get out, simply laughing with disdain as catches were held, his stumps were splayed and so on. Once the four overs were done, he then proceeded to bat properly, smashing the ball to all corners before being retired. While this was going on, Team 1 had winkled out the other opener, but thereafter wickets were hard to come by. Skipper Billy Haynes crashed a couple of boundaries and Dave Scotcher followed up his fine bowling with some solid pummelling with the bat, taking Team 2 to 79-1 in the eighth, well on the way to their target. At this point Team 1 skipper Adam Wright and then Jack Bowden changed the course of the match with three quick wickets each. Suddenly, and despite a massive six from Ross Chandler, Team 2 were 100-6 and, even with 13 players a side, starting to run out of batsmen. Brief resistance was offered by Neil Sparnon, who bashed a couple of fours before bashing the ball straight back at the bowler, who stopped a certain six by catching it. It was not enough, and Team 2 could only make it to 139 in their 20 overs, Simmons retired-not out 34, Scotcher 20, Bowden ending with 3-9 and Wright 3-11.

Whether it was due to the scintillating cricket or the vast mountain of handcrafted burgers and hot dogs consumed fresh off the barbecue during the innings break, who can be certain, but there is no doubt that a fabulous time was had by all. Buoyed up by the day's overwhelming success, the club promises another such extravaganza at the end of the season and bookings are already being taken for coveted places both in the teams and around the boundary rope.

Let's hear it for the Other Big Guy

Dave takes Alastair to task for missing a stumping.












When we took over the book from Fen Ditton to score the 2nd innings of this encounter we found out that they had used descriptive terms to identify our bowlers.

They had:

• Beard
• Wristbands
• Young
• Swears a lot
• Other big guy

So: who’s who (p.s. one of these isn’t true)?

We got to field first again. As we gathered around the stumps we noted that they were a good two inches wider at the top than the bottom, something like the Duncan Fearnley logo. It would make them harder to hit but at least it would be impossible to get the ball between them. “Beard” and “Wristbands” opened the bowling. One Fen Ditton opener took a liking to “Wristbands’” offerings which were swinging back into his pads and summarily dispatched to the leg side boundary. This resulted in “Wristbands” quickly being given the hook by his own team after conceding 33 runs in 3 overs. If this was a horse race “Wristbands” would now either (a) be put down or (b) be put out to stud. He has told me that all being equal he would prefer the latter. This being cricket he was sent to patrol the long leg / third man boundary and retrieve the ball from the thorn bushes at regular intervals.

To take his place we turned to Adam (“Young”) who bowled an excellent spell of wrist spin extracting much turn from the wicket and mixing up the length and speed nicely. Is he another Shane Warne in the making? Maybe, but just hopefully you will stay away from the hair treatment advertising, Adam!

Fen Ditton reached 71-0 after 10 overs with a few alarms interspersed with crunching shots to the small boundary. There was then a helter skelter of quick wickets as first Adam removed the less aggressive opener and then George removed the other aided by a Dave Simmons catch. Only two more runs had been added when George produced a beautiful ball. Their #4 made a text book leave and was comprehensively bowled: 71-0 to 73-3 in a couple of overs. George removed two more and Neil chipped in with a wicket (it provided a diversion from swearing at the batsman, the umpire, the fielders and himself) and we had 5 down.

It was then that the “Other Big Guy” stepped in. In the last few games, Dave Scotcher’s bowling has been accurate, frugal, parsimonious, miserly, niggardly and stingy. Today he added penetrative. Over 8.3 overs he rearranged the Readers on 4 occasions and added a 5th wicket courtesy of an excellent running & diving catch from Adam. Fen Ditton were all out for 170 which was a lot less than they had threatened after the initial onslaught. This was Dave’s first 5-for for Coton and very well deserved it was.

Then we batted.

Gabriel and Dave Simmons opened but the former didn’t last the first over. A straight one kept low and scuttled along the pitch and unluckily trapped him in front. Unlucky in having an honest umpire that is: best not to remind Neil of some of the decisions that he didn’t get at this point.

Fen Ditton had figured out that there was a lot of movement to be had on this wicket and the hardest way for us to score would be off slow bowling. So we were presented with spin from the outset at one end and that would be the story of the rest of the match.

Dave and Alastair were accumulating quite nicely until Dave was undone by an excellent catch after he had made fine contact with an on drive. Richard joined Alastair to move things along until a fine piece of comedy running found them both at the same end (Alastair having run 2 to Richard’s 1). Perhaps Alastair was distracted by the contents of his pocket, not having had time to partake following Gabriel's quick dismissal.

Alastair decided to (figuratively) fall on his sword at this point and stepped out of the crease to accept the run out. At this point we then proceeded to dig ourselves a big hole. Richard played an elegant forward defensive but forgot to hit the ball, his back foot was outside the crease and he was dismissed by a fine stumping. Adam slapped one back to the bowler but George was by now dispatching the ball to all corners (can you have corners in an oval?). 33 off 29 balls and the recovery was on until he cracked a loose ball to point: a yard either side would have been another 4. 99-5 soon became 103-9 as Andy, Neil and Pete all departed in quick succession.

Other Big Guy was now joined by Wristbands (aka Original Big Guy) and for a few overs an unlikely win looked possible as the two old war horses gained in confidence. Another batting point was gained and Fen Ditton looked decidedly nervous as 35 were put on for the 10th wicket (the highest of the innings – so we are reversing the order next week). It would only take one mistake though and that came when Rob top edged a chest high full toss (why wasn’t it a no ball?) to fine leg to end the innings.

We ended up 32 runs short. Dave Scotcher takes the plaudits for his 5-for and 19 not out. Dave Simmons is getting a little nervous on his pre-season bet now. George had another good game with 3 wickets and 33 runs. Adam bowled well and Alastair had a good effort with the bat.

Next week it’s the return match at Fulbourn. With George missing in action, its time for Rob to see if he can emulate last season’s record of 4 wins out 5 whilst deputizing as captain. Don’t hold your breath.

A Proper Game of Cricket - Romsey at Trinity Old Field, 29/May/2010

As I cycled away from Trinity Old Field and into the sunset I reflected on the day. We had played a game of cricket on a beautiful spring day, on a great pitch in lovely surroundings. The opposition had been friendly the banter humorous and the game competitive without any nastiness. We lost, but that somehow seemed almost immaterial given everything else.

And a proper game of cricket it was: both teams batted for the full allotment of 40 overs and that is something that happens very rarely in our league (at least for games involving Coton).

Despite conjecture in the dressing room that we would be better off batting first so we didn't have to field in the hottest part of the day we won the toss and put Romsey in. Neil was still enjoying his US trip whilst Billy and Adam were off paintballing. Had they reconnoitred the pitch and decided that bowling was going to be a tough job? They were to be proved right. The two Dave S’s returned to the team with Rob McC and Jack dropping out.

Rob & George opened the bowling again. George bowled beautifully without taking a wicket and it was hard to understand just how he didn’t manage to do that. Rob bowled some good balls mixed in with some bad ones. At that pace and on as true a wicket as Trinity they were dealt with accordingly. We got to the first bowling changes without a wicket being down & Romsey making steady progress.

Dave Scotcher and Dave Simmons were the replacements. Scotch bowled a very tight spell and removed the first of the Romsey openers with 63 on the board thus breaking his 0 runs and 0 wickets for the season drought (he also got some runs later). “Other Dave” (for Dr Who fans, not "Other Dave" from “Silence in the Library” so I guess this is "Other Other Dave") was punished as much as Rob had been and was replaced by Richard. Richard leaked runs as the others had but removed the remaining opener and the #3. George and Rob returned to (in one case) put the pressure on and stem the runs and (in the other) donate over 50 runs in 4 overs to a now rampant Romsey. Two run outs earned us another bonus point.

The boundaries were short and you could have played snooker on the outfield but the sad fact is that George & Scotch conceded runs at about 2.8 per over whereas Rob, Richard and Dave Simmons went for over 8. Romsey amassed 222-6 in their 40 overs. As they left the field there were some mutterings about this not being enough (the previous week they had grabbed 273-1 on the same ground).

After tea, Gabriel and Will lead the charge in reply. Well, maybe not a charge, maybe more of a casual stroll along a canal bank stopping to chat to fishermen, lock keepers, bargees and other ramblers. Will departed for 9 and Alastair joined Gabriel. They proceeded to accumulate runs steadily against a variety of slow, very slow and very very slow bowling, Romsey having figured that taking any pace off the ball made scoring more difficult. They put on 84 for the 2nd wicket before Alastair was lured out of his ground and stumped. He stopped at the crease long enough to exchange pleasantries with his opposite number and compliment him on the stumping (they also had a long chat about face masks, but I am told that this is nothing to be concerned about).

Dave Simmons was also stumped before an exhausted Gabriel was run out 4 short of what would have been a well deserved 50. By this stage he was delirious & dehydrated from the heat and proceeded to wander around the ground looking for sand dunes and oases.

At 112-4 the base had been laid for a late innings thrash: could we make it? For a few overs it looked on. George smashed an enormous 6 and raced to 30 off 15 balls. Sam kept him company in a quickfire partnership before being run out for 10 trying a suicidal 2nd run. He fell victim to the old ploy of the fake wounded fielder. Up to that point he had trundled the ball in underarm but now with a whiff of run out in the air (and a shout of "he hasn't got an arm" in his ear) he managed to ping the ball in overarm: fast and straight. He didn’t even have the decency to feign a bad shoulder afterwards.

George went next ball, and with him our best hope of making the score. Andy and Pete both made double figures and Rob managed to find the only fielder within 50 yards with a top edge before Andy and Dave Scotcher saw out the 40 overs. We came up 36 short with 9 wickets down but there was general agreement that last season it may well have been 100 short with 20 overs remaining.

Putting the finishing touches to the report almost 2 weeks later we now know that all the matches were called off during our blank week leaving us in the relegation zone have won 1 and lost 3. This week we play Fen Ditton over whom we did the double last year. Let’s see what happens this time.