Rain Men by Raymond Babbitt

Scorecard
Table

At around 1:00PM last Saturday the skies opened over Fowlmere, home to Thriplow’s 3^rd XI.  My informant gazed forlornly over a cricket ground that could barely be made out through the rain.  He wondered where his teammates were, where the opposition were, wondered if the match had been called off and cursed at forgetting his phone. The home team arrived and, in stark contrast to what had happened on the previous Saturday, expressed confidence that the game would go ahead.

Slowly the skies cleared and even more slowly other Coton players arrived.  Captain for day Gabriel brought two new recruits – Arshiq and Tejasvi.  We were fortunate that the start was delayed to 2:15 as Adam Wright was still to arrive and Chirayu was lying in a ditch somewhere in South Cambridgeshire having come off his bike.

When we did get underway Matt and Rob opened the bowling.  The captains had agreed to a 36 over game to compensate for the lost time.  The rain came back for the first few overs but passed on and we had dry conditions for the rest of the game.  Matt was having difficulty with his footing on the greasy surface but the slower, heavier Rob was coping OK.  The ball was in the air – and in and out of hands a couple of times - before Rob broke the opening partnership with a ball that moved back in to clip the top of off stump.  The other opener didn’t last much longer, obligingly prodding another delivery from Rob into Adam’s hands at short cover.  

Matt clearly wasn’t relishing conditions although he had beaten the bat several times and induced edges on others.  He gave way to Adam who got the born to turn quite sharply and generated some extravagant bounce.   Shortly thereafter one lumbering behemoth (Rob) was replaced by another (Dave).  The former was still havering about the three dropped catches and the three successive deliveries that had been edged between wicket keeper and slip.  That Alastair immediately held on to a sharp chance off Scotch didn’t make it any better.  

Adam’s spin induced a false stroke to Matt at mid-wicket and we reached half way with the score on around 50-4.  As so often happens, the drinks break precipitated another wicket.  The first ball after the break was lobbed back to Scotch who held on to the return catch with a minimum of fuss. 

Thriplow then affected a fight back.   The young tyro coming in at seven decided to attack Scotch’s bowling.  It wasn’t exactly elegant (I mean the batting, not Scotch) and twice the bowler was denied a wicket from difficult chances offered to Arshiq at mid-off.  Both would have rated as “brilliant” if he had hung on, the second in particular was a great running, sliding effort.  It was on another of these aerial shots that our other debutant Tejasvi pulled a hamstring whilst turning to chase.   

The runs were coming steadily.  Richard replaced Adam, the latter having beaten the bat regularly without reward.  Scotch was finally rewarded when the Thriplow batsman chanced his arm once too often and directed the ball straight at Rob, now positioned at long on.  Rob tells me that as the ball sailed towards him two equally unpleasant thoughts crossed his mind: which was worse, the verbal abuse from Scotch should he drop it, or the physical abuse for a successful catch?  He took one for the team and ran off to hide behind Gabriel and other team members before Scotch could express his appreciation.

A brief experiment with Chirayu’s spin could have yielded a wicket as the ball passed the advancing batsman to Alastair.  But on both occasions the batsman was able to regain his ground before the bails could be removed.  Chirayu then got a bit of tap and in was left to the veterans to bowl out the last overs.  Rob had stiffened up and started with a wide and rank ball that got smacked away.  The next one was lofted back over his head in the direction of Gabriel positioned at mid on.  In anticipation of the dropped catch, Rob got ready to swear to himself.  But what’s this?  As Gabriel wavered there was a decisive call of “mine” from Chirayu, sprinting around.  Some say he came from as far away as third man to take the catch.  More realistically it was wide mid-off, but still about 3-4 times the distance that Gabriel would have needed to make to get there: a great running catch.  The innings then drifted to a close with Rob and Alastair having a private game where the former bowled, the latter caught and the batsman didn’t look like hitting it.   

Thriplow got 140-7 which probably represents 40-50 more than they should have if we had taken our chances.  Rob finished with 3-24, Scotch with 3-31 and Adam got the 7^th.

We took tea in the well equipped social club.  This is something we lack at Coton.  It says something about the age of the team that several of them think that a club house, and teas, rate more important than improved practice facilities…

Then we batted.  Gabriel opened with Adam and with considerable help from our old friend Mr Extras put on 49 for the first wicket in quite quick time.  Adam was mainly responsible for these interposing some cracking drives with a few less convincing shots.  Gabriel was, well, Gabriel.  It was during these opening exchanged that Rob felt obliged to warn the young Thriplow opening bowler for running down the middle of the wicket on his follow through.  It’s only a J6S game so the warning was only ever a friendly one, but we could legitimately have had him removed from the attack for the rest of the game.

As it was, the opposition removed him from the attack.  He was pretty quick without ever threatening to hit the stumps but his replacement did figure out how to bowl straight and removed Adam after a promising 29.  In the next over, Gabriel followed a low full toss from the other change bowler.  The opposition had been giving their slip fielder a lot of guidance on how and where to stand and it paid off as he took the catch.  49-2.

Alastair and Safwan were now at the wicket.   The opposition remembered Safwan from last year abd soon had 3 men back on the leg side boundary.  Alastair has had a frustrating season with the bat but this time his dismissal wasn’t down to batting.   Another ball slipped down the leg side and evaded the keeper who had insisted on standing up to the medium pacers.  Alastair and Safwan had completed one run and Alastair turned for a second.  The throw was accurate.  The keeper took the ball and broke the wickets with Alastair very short despite a despairing dive.  

Safwan was now joined by Arshiq who announced his presence with a six over square leg off the first ball he faced.  There’s nothing like playing yourself in!

Safwan looked confused.  Here was someone who could smite the ball as hard as he could.  For a while Safwan couldn’t make clean contact with the ball.  But eventually the runs came and we cruised past 100 with lots of time left and 7 wickets in hand.  But we are Coton.  Why do things the easy way when you can do them the hard way?   After the drinks break (again) things changed.  The first two balls were a high, wide, no-ball beamer, followed by one that was almost a no-ball that Arshiq pulled for 6.  Safwan had played more defensive shots in this innings than all of this season, and probably last, combined, isn’t naturally suited to that game and another forward defensive went straight back to the bowler.  Still, 108-4 meant only 33 needed in about 12 overs, so we couldn’t muck that up, could we?

Well, 4 overs later it was 118-7.  Richard, Matt and Chirayu all failed to trouble the scorers.  Chirayu’s was first ball.  The clatter of wickets meant that out number 9 (Rob) & 10 (Dave) had to sprint off (sprint is probably the wrong word for these two) and get ready quickly.  Thriplow could quite legitimately have had us timed out at this point however, sportingly they didn’t.  I can suppose that was in return for us not insisting their left arm bowler be removed from the attack and he had just taken two wickets in two balls.

Rob won the race to face the hat trick ball: the first that he has faced this season.  It was a bouncer, and a no-ball, and was hooked for a single: a virgin bat no longer!  But Rob didn’t survive much longer, clipping a rank leg side full toss straight to square leg.  Perhaps those practice facilities are more important than the bar!   

 

Scotch went in almost identical manner and we were 129-9, still 12 runs short of the target. Tejasvi now came in, with Chirayu running for him (good tactics that, having the team’s fastest mover as the runner).  It soon became evident that Tejasvi was a proper batsman, and one that could give Gabriel a run for his money in slow accumulation.  It must have been disheartening for Thriplow to see him come in at #11.  Arshiq eased the nerves with his third 6.  Thriplow ringed the boundary to let him have a single but that just meant Tejasvi could play the ball out for the rest of the over.  The score crept up with these single.  With us one short of parity there was a scare with an appeal for LBW.  Richard kept his composure with 11 opponents imploring him to raise his finger.  He didn’t, two balls later Arshiq slapped the ball away for the 4 runs that took us home with 10 balls to spare.  In the excitement we hadn’t noticed that he had passed his 50 a few balls earlier.

So, 5 wins out of 6 (with once abandonment) puts us 3^rd above Thriplow for whom this was their first defeat.  Great Shelford and Barrington remain unbeaten above us as both got victories at the weekend.    

One Flew over the Coton Rec by R. P. McMurphy

League Table

Scorecard 

Coton got back to winning ways with a victory over Newport that kept an enthralled crowd of approximately 4 people on tenterhooks to the end.  After a stutter against Balsham this makes it 4 wins out of 5.  My anonymous source in the team would like to think that this was because he missed the Balsham game.  He is deluded.

We welcomed Roger Harding – a Footpath resident – for his first game, and Rob was back, “fresh” from Heathrow and 35 degree Texan weather.  

From this reporter’s perspective, the match pivoted on an incident in the 31^st over of the Newport, Essex innings.   Cruising along at 131-2 chasing a target of 180, their opening batsman faced up to Matt Chandler back on for a 2^nd spell.  At this point the aforesaid batsman was 73 and looking very comfortable.  He was coming out to his crease to get to the pitch of the ball but on this occasion overreached and the ball went through to John Bason behind the stumps.  Turning quickly the opener lost his footing, and John – standing back – threw down the stumps.  I know what that batsman will want for Fathers’ Day: new spikes on his shoes.  Meanwhile we sensed that it might be game on.  Still, Stumped Bason Bowled Chandler looks good in the books.

But how did we get to that point?  4 hours earlier, Dan lost the toss upholding the Coton tradition of our Captains being useless tossers and we were inserted by Newsex (Esport).  Gabriel took first ball while Richard watched the birds skimming the outfield.  The opening bowling was steady and the ball moving around under the cloud cover.  The skittish Coton pitch was creating the occasional low bounce and it was a combination of this and the movement that caused Richard to play on.  Gabriel lasted a little longer but we weren’t too far into the game before former Royston colleagues Safwan and John Bason were batting together.  

Safwan was soon into his stride smiting both the persisting opener and the change bowlers high and handsome over the straight boundaries.  John was a little less confident to start and got some early runs off the edge.  There were several midwicket discussions on the conventions and protocols of calling for runs, it looked like umpiring intervention may be needed at one point but the two batsmen sorted out their differences and applied themselves to the task.  In Safwan’s case, application included 4 x 6s, the last of which sailed over long off from a seemingly effortless drive.  John’s approach was more classical but just as effective and the score had reached 83 when Saftwan played over a straight one that (he says) kept a bit low.  

Captain Dan now joined John at the wicket and the scoreboard kept ticking over as Newer, Sexpots ran through an array of bowling.   Another promising partnership was broken when Dan became another Coton player that could have done with a longer bat and succumbed to a low bounce.  Prior to this there had been an incident where the Neesox, Twerps bowled broke the wicket in his delivery.  Richard – knowing the rule change precipitated by Steven Finn – called no-ball and Dan cantered for a run.  There was then a debate, a reversal and Dan’s run was taken away as the no-ball became a dead ball.  The rule change only applies to international cricket until October 1^st.  Whilst Essex is a different county (in so many ways) it doesn’t count as international.

Matt replaced Dan whilst John continued to accumulate steadily.  Having overcome what looked like some early nerves, Mr Bason was playing strokes all around the wicket.  He wasn’t helped by the long grass in the outfield which turned several boundary bound strokes into singles and doubles. 

Matt perished to Western, Expos teenage spinner giving Roger a chance to show us what he could do.  It turns out that this was (a) hit sixes and (b) get injured.  We managed to avoid all the comedy possibilities that having a runner brings.  But it did give Richard a chance to get some more exercise after his early dismissal.  John farmed the strike expertly in the last few overs and together with Roger – bravely hanging in despite the injury – they brought the innings to a close on 179-5.  John finished with an accomplished 72 not out and along with Safwan (42) provided the backbone to the innings.  Dan, Matt and Roger all made useful runs but as so often happens were outscored by Mr Extras who provided 17.

Rob made some more jokes about his virgin bat which fell on deaf ears.  Again.  Time to give that particular topic a rest I think.

After tea provided by Janet Scotcher and featuring egg rolls (Scotcher Eggs?) we resumed the battle. Some very accurate opening bowling – not a phrase used very often in these reports – started to bring the required run rate up to 5 an over.  Matt and Rob kept the runs down but couldn’t take a wicket so Scotch was brought into the attack.  He immediately struck by finding the dead spot on the wicket and pinning one of the Spewer, Sexton openers palpably leg before wicket.  It was so obvious even his team mate had to give it.

The other opener was having no such problems though and although the required run rate was creeping up he started to find the boundary with increasing regularity.  Scotch was dispatched several times, as were Matt, Dan and Safwan from the other end.  Dan did manage to bowl the number 3 with a corker and then remove the number 4 with a beamer.  It wasn’t as if the batsman tried to get out of the way, but he took a nasty crack on the forearm and retired hurt.

Dan juggled his bowlers, with Matt returning for a second spell to replace Safwan and Richard replaced Scotch.  Saf’s tactic had been to get the opener to play one in the air to long off or mid wicket but despite adding more and more fielders in that area the ball didn’t go to hand.  By this time, Gabriel had left the field and Patrick Butterfield substituted.  Young Patrick gave us a lesson in fielding and he was afforded every opportunity as the opposition hit every other shot in his direction.  

It was, therefore, something of a relief when Matt made the breakthrough described earlier.  Needing 49 to win off 8 overs with 7 wickets remaining still put Western, Sexop in a good position but we had forced open a small breech in the defences. 

And into that breech we now piled.  Accurate bowling, some alert fielding and a series of increasingly panicky strokes raised the pressure on our opponents.  Richard rattled the woodwork twice and Matt struck again before ending his spell.  The other bowlers having done the hard work, Scotch returned to grab 2 more wickets and Richard struck twice more.   In the midst of the carnage the batsman that Dan had winged earlier returned and played a one handed slog that steepled to mid wicket.  The bowler, 8 fielders and the wicketkeeper all ran away from the ball, leaving Roger, still hobbling from his injury and unable to take evasive action with the responsibility for making the catch. 

143-3 had turned into 148-9 in a little over 5 overs.  There was a late flurry but Richard found the stumps one more time to bring proceedings to a halt.  Worst, Expense ended up 23 runs short of the target, Richard leading the way with 4-29, ably supported by Scotch (3-21) and Matt (2-34). 

That puts us 4^th in the league.  There are still 3 unbeaten teams ahead of us, two of which meet on Saturday while we play the winless Babraham.

Another week, another Bradbury by Dave Simmons

Another week, another Bradbury

For our 4^th away game on the trot this year we turned up at the well hidden ground at Balsham to play their 2^nd team.  Finding the pavilion was easy enough.  Did I say pavilion?  I meant maze.  Arriving at their pavilion got you about half way there.  No warning of that in Dan’s dire warning not to be late or you’d be dropped down the order.  “Honestly - I arrived at the postcode in your email by 1:15”.  Those that turned up early enough joined in the warm up which involved throwing and trying to catch the Aerobie that Dan keeps in the boot of his car.

Looking at the table before the match showed that we had won 3 out of 3 and Balsham had lost 3 out of 3.  When we played them in 2010 towards the end of the season they played above themselves and beat us for only their 2^nd win of the season.  On that occasion we had them 76-8 and couldn’t take any more wickets as they reached 157-8 in their 40 overs and we came up 8 short in our chase.

Dan lost the toss and we were put in.  This is the team with the opening bowler with a sight impediment so he bowls in a helmet in case a ball gets driven back at him.  It would have been safe for him to take it off for this game.

Dave S opened with Dan.  A couple of weeks ago Dave was referred to as the centurion Quintus Dias.  What do you call someone who gets nought, a duck, a blob?  Donald?  Mr Blobby?  Anyway, that’s Dave as he missed a long hop which came off the pitch much slower than he planned.  Dan didn’t last much longer but at least got one of the balls of the game which swung in and cut away.

Then John Bason made his long awaited league debut.  He has looked a fine batsman in the nets and we were all looking forward to him getting some runs.  One of the things you don’t get to see in the nets is how good people are at calling, running and taking notice of calling and running.  John played the ball into the offside for a tight but comfortable single and set off having called very clearly.  Safwan failed to respond and John didn’t make it back in time. Balsham had a number of spectators who could be heard expressing their opinion behind the scorer’s table.  On this subject their opinion was “he’d better stay out there for a while”.  Perhaps we should consider getting Lord Kitchener to pose for a poster emblazoned with “Your village team needs you to learn how to run” and stick it in each dressing room we visit.  Whatever the village green’s equivalent of the commentator’s curse then struck.  Safwan’s first league failure of the season and he was out for 7.  We were 13-4 and in deep trouble.  A couple of weeks ago Matt went in at 5 with just over 2 overs to go with instructions to hit some sixes.  On this occasion he went in at 5 with over 30 overs to go and needed to rescue us.  He was joined by the latest in the line of Bradburys – Oliver, last seen playing for the under 13s a few days earlier.  Forget about his age – he looked and played the part and with Matt rescued us with a stand of 50 choosing which balls to defend and which to attack with excellent judgement.  It certainly was a day for the youngsters.  After the drinks break Balsham brought on 13 year old Zoe Barkes who bowled very respectable leg spin while her proud Mum was doing the Balsham scorebook.  Her first entry for her daughter was a “W” as she took a wicket first ball when Oliver top edged an attempted shot to midwicket to end the only partnership of significance with Oliver getting 25.

This brought Gabriel to the wicket lower down the order than he’s used to but he still had plenty of time to bat.  Matt then succumbed to Zoe for a top score of 28 as she took her 2^nd wicket which was very shortly followed by her 3^rd as Cameron was lured out of his crease by a loopy delivery and didn’t make it back.  

After Alastair’s difficult start to the season he asked not to be so high up the order whilst he tried to find some form, which he did as far as he could before being stranded not out.  Alastair’s score in each game seems to be roughly proportional to his number in the order.  He’ll bat at number 86 next week.  Maybe not – we’ve struggled to have a number 11 a couple of times this season.  He and Gabriel put on 16 for the joint 2^nd highest partnership of the innings until Gabriel was bowled by the accurate helmeted opening bowler.  Chirayu managed 2 before he fell the same way which brought Scotch in to totally dominate a partnership to which he contributed 100% of the runs and 100% responsibility for ending it.  He scored 3 which consisted of a single off the last ball of an over to ensure Alastair didn’t get the strike followed by a 2 to ensure that Alastair didn’t get the strike followed by missing a good ball ensuring that Alastair would never get the strike.  100 all out.  A round but inadequate number.

An excellent tea was then served in the pavilion’s kitchen area which overlooked their bowls club.  As their building needs to cater for two sports areas it’s no wonder it is an odd shape, but with very good facilities.  

How do you defend 100 on an albeit slow pitch?  Take wickets early.  Which we didn’t which is a major reason for not winning.  The bowlers did a top notch job but were let down by the batting.  Matt opened the bowling with Dan taking the other end.  The ball was still moving but the batting was solid if not spectacular.  It didn’t need to be.  After a few overs from each of them with no breakthrough Scotch took over from Dan and Oliver took over from Matt.  After a few looseners from each they settled down to a very good line and length.  We expect that from Scotch but having showed most of us up with the bat Oliver was not out of his depth with the ball and was soon swinging the ball past the outside edge as he does to us in the nets, but we still had no wickets to show for it at the drinks break, but we didn’t have to wait for long after drinks for our first breakthrough.  Maybe one day someone with a pile of scorebooks or the play cricket website can find out how many times Scotch has taken the first wicket for the team.  (Not me – this is taking up my share of donated time!  Sounds like good GCSE stats project for someone.)  Having learnt not to rely on the catching of his team mates he bowled the more solid looking opener.  53 for 1.  Their first wicket put on more than our best stand.  

Our next wicket came courtesy of the best dropped catch you’ll see.  The ball was driven firmly back to Oliver who couldn’t hold on in his follow through but it burst through his hands and on to the stumps.  Bizarrely it was given out by the square leg umpire as the one at the bowlers end wasn’t looking at the bat, although his decision was made a bit easier as the run out batsman started to walk off anyway.  He knew he was out. 

John Bason had his first bowl in the league and we needed him to get more wickets than he got runs if we were to win.  His brand of loopy (who wouldn’t go loopy after being run out by a team mate) leg spin challenged the batsmen but as is often the case with leg spinners there were a few balls to be hit.  He did take the next wicket to fall courtesy of a good catch by one of the more reliable catchers, Cameron.  By this time the game was really up but they were struggling to get the runs quickly and we did a good job of making it hard for them to get them with some good fielding and straight bowling.  The 4^th wicket came with only 7 needed to win and was from another good away swinger which gave Oliver a well deserved wicket and us a 4^th bonus point.  We’d have preferred the 20 for the win but Balsham do appear to be our bogie team.  We think we are better than they are.  Our league position suggests we are better than they are but we can’t beat them.  So we probably aren’t better than they are.  Let’s blame travel fatigue.  4 away games on the trot.  Next week we’re at home so no more travel fatigue losses please.