The Coton Twenty/20: Jokers all round!

If you can't think of a way to begin a piece, use a quotation." Well frankly that's poor advice and anyone who followed it would be mad. And mad just happens to be one word that springs to mind when thinking of the afternoon of Bank Holiday mayhem which was the inaugural Coton Twenty20 fund-raising extravaganza on May 31st 2010. Under mischievous clouds, 26 free-spirited individuals congregated for a festival of batting, bowling and burgers which was not only a massive hoot, thoroughly enjoyed by the players and the impressive crowd, which may even have outnumbered the active combatants, but also raised £500 for Coton Cricket Club's "Heavy Roller Fund".

Having organised the teams, conveniently known as Team 1 and Team 2, in honour of the order in which they batted, and spent an hour getting to know Al Breward's fiendishly complex (and hugely lucrative) rules, battle commenced with Team 1's opening pair of Gabriel Fox and Abid Abdulali, who carted the ball around the Coton Rec with gay abandon in an opening stand of 58 in six overs. At that point Team 2 seized the initiative thanks to the deadly bowling of Coton CC stalwarts Dave Scotcher and Ross Chandler, who ripped out the top order to leave Team 1 pegged back at 69-4 after 9 overs. A resurgence was led by young Ollie Bennett with two 4s and Jack "One Shot" Bowden, who embarrassedly confesses to having just a single cricket stroke in his armoury. Unfortunately for Team 2 it happens to be a six smashed over midwicket. Four of these later, Bowden was invited to retire, having passed the pre-determined run limit for the game. Team 1 eventually staggered to 142-9 in their 20 overs, with Fox and Bowden both retired-not out on 32, Abdulali 23 and ludicrously miserly bowling figures of 2-1-4-3 from Chandler.

Team 2 set off in pursuit of their target with the immediate and canny use by Dave Simmons of a joker to prevent himself being out. The jokers had been auctioned off at the beginning of the match, raising healthy funds for the club, and while Team 1 generally forgot to use theirs, Team 2 were not so careless. Simmons, immune from dismissal for the first 4 overs, proceeded to explore every known way to get out, simply laughing with disdain as catches were held, his stumps were splayed and so on. Once the four overs were done, he then proceeded to bat properly, smashing the ball to all corners before being retired. While this was going on, Team 1 had winkled out the other opener, but thereafter wickets were hard to come by. Skipper Billy Haynes crashed a couple of boundaries and Dave Scotcher followed up his fine bowling with some solid pummelling with the bat, taking Team 2 to 79-1 in the eighth, well on the way to their target. At this point Team 1 skipper Adam Wright and then Jack Bowden changed the course of the match with three quick wickets each. Suddenly, and despite a massive six from Ross Chandler, Team 2 were 100-6 and, even with 13 players a side, starting to run out of batsmen. Brief resistance was offered by Neil Sparnon, who bashed a couple of fours before bashing the ball straight back at the bowler, who stopped a certain six by catching it. It was not enough, and Team 2 could only make it to 139 in their 20 overs, Simmons retired-not out 34, Scotcher 20, Bowden ending with 3-9 and Wright 3-11.

Whether it was due to the scintillating cricket or the vast mountain of handcrafted burgers and hot dogs consumed fresh off the barbecue during the innings break, who can be certain, but there is no doubt that a fabulous time was had by all. Buoyed up by the day's overwhelming success, the club promises another such extravaganza at the end of the season and bookings are already being taken for coveted places both in the teams and around the boundary rope.