Swinging in the Rain

English village cricket and English summers. In our dreams it is warm days under perfect blue skies and evenings that seem to go on for ever. It is skylarks singing and swallows swooping. It is ladies in summer dresses preparing finger sandwiches and cutting home made sponges in the Edwardian pavilion. Perhaps they stop their preparations a minute to watch husbands, sons and lovers as another wicket falls. It is the old couple that have set up deckchairs on the boundary edge beside the white picket fence that surrounds their pristine thatched cottage. She never gives up on her knitting – perhaps a new sweater for their grandson who is now in the team. He dozes off in the warm sun, awoken from time to time by the sound of graceful cover drive sending the ball skittering to the cover boundary or a raucous appeal of the bowler denied yet another LBW appeal. It is the sound of church bells calling the faithful to worship and reminding us that match is almost over.

And then there is reality. It is cold, leaden skies overhead and a gale whipping across the ground driving rain into the face of the unlucky fielder exiled to deep fine leg. It is the sound of the M11 and gunfire from the nearby firing ranges. It is utilitarian concrete changing rooms with a collection of dirty abandoned kit. It is a lonely spectator who is inevitably a club member who didn’t get a game or maybe the parents of a junior team member.

You see, fielding on the boundary waiting for the next rank long hop to be larruped in your direction you get a lot of time to think. This week I was mostly thinking about the multiverse and anthropic principles (weak and strong) and ruminating on the possibility in some of those realities I might actually get a bowl.

But enough of that, you don’t want to hear the meanderings of a grumpy old man. You want to know about Coton vs. Steeple Morden and how the game unfolded. We lost: what more to say?

A grimly unpromising morning showed enough hints of better weather to come that the game went ahead. Gabriel, Dan and to a lesser extent Rob prepared a track that although damp played very well. The fund raising and investment in a heavy roller is paying off even if Gabriel couldn’t get it back into the container as the approaches were too muddy.

Steeple Morden got to bat first in the gloomy, but thankfully dry, conditions. Ross gave the team a rousing talk about keeping the ball up and making catches from batsmen playing to early and regular bowling changes. Some of the bowlers, but unfortunately not many of the fielders, actually followed the plan and at the 25 over stage we had kept the league leaders to fewer than 3 runs an over. A tight 10 over spell by Ross saw several LBW appeals turned down. I don’t think the following exchange actually happened, but it could have:

“How is that?”

“Not Out – missing leg”.

“I know”.

“You know? Why did you appeal then?”

“Missing leg sure, but would have flattened middle”.

This lead to some more interval dressing room lectures on the subject of umpiring & giving benefit of doubt. You know, the batsman isn’t out until the bail stops moving as there is the chance that a freak gust of wind could blow it back on to the stumps.

Meanwhile Milan and Ulassa both bowled good spells and Scotch was his usual self. I must have run out of synonyms for accurate, controlled and miserly in previous reports so will need to start repeating them as needed in upcoming games.

From my far off position I think the turning point came after we had a (by now, traditional) short break for rain. When we came back out our two quickest bowlers – Matt & Dan – got their chance from the top end. Unfortunately the ball was now harder to hold than a bar of soap and a series of long hops and chest high beamers (learn the rules, umpire) were in turn dispatched to the boundary or disdainfully ignored. The good, tight, work was undone. The dropped catches off their #4 who went on to top score came back to bite us and even Scotch was dispatched for a rare 6. Rob McCorquodale came on for a single sacrificial over and the 70 odd runs off 25 overs quickly became 177-5 by the end of the innings.

Still, the teas were good.

We got off to the traditional slow start. Ross was muttering about “do the batsmen have a plan?” on the boundary. Yes, they had a plan. They planned to put all the fielders to sleep and then start scoring but alas the fielders stayed awake long enough to get them out. Alastair was particularly unlucky to pick out a fielder with a well hit shot that was intercepted on its way to the boundary by a very sharp catch.

Scotch was promoted up the order so he could go off to a party. Steeple must have wondered what 5-11 must be like if this was our #4 batsman. He did hit a few lusty blows before missing a straight ball. Mrs Scotch and junior Scotches paced anxiously around while Dave showered. As usual, the shower took longer than the innings – probably for the best.

Milan and Ross were now at the wicket. Ross was looking in good form but Milan was struggling to score despite playing some classy shots. They always seemed to find fielders. Perhaps it was some youthful inexperience and he eventually lost patience and offered up a catch that was gratefully accepted.

Rob (K) now joined Ross with the prospects looking very grim: nearly 2/3rd of the overs gone, half the wickets down and still 120+ runs to get. Ross was now playing some very aggressive shots: a 6 that cannoned off the cottages across the foot path being the pick of them. In contrast, Rob led a charmed life. An attempted sweep that flew over slip for 4 and a possible stumping where the ball ricocheted off the keepers pads with the batsman out of his ground. There was an element of doubt that the keeper might have dislodged the bails with his gloves first but in all honesty it was probably out. Rob did run down the track once to often and was eventually stumped “properly” but could also have been given out caught as the ball had clipped the bat handle on the way through: a very smart bit of keeping.

Still, 30 had been raised in very quick time and Ross continued to take the attack to the opposition. 3 maxima in one over from the off spinner triggered a tactical rethink by Steeple Morden. The bowling changes did the damage. Off the first ball from a new bowler Ross went deep again and was caught just inside the ropes off a towering drive that first gathered ice and then evaded all the tree branches on the way down. After a brief pause to confirm the fielder was inside the line Ross was on his way for 61 off around 50 balls. The irony was that Ross was caught by their top scorer (who also scored 60 odd) to whom we had granted 3 or 4 lives: an object lesson that the hoary old cliché that “catches win matches” does have relevance.

The remaining batsmen – Ulassa, Dan, Matt & Rob M – brought the score up to a reasonable 115.

We lost by 62 runs. Holding the dropped catches, not giving away so many extras, and the few disastrous overs after the rain break would have made a difference and may have got us closer. We get another chance to find this out next week when we play the reverse fixture.

Good, that means we can concentrate on the league

Romance of the Cup? Bah, humbug. With an impressive ruthlessness, Coton dispensed with the distractions of the Junior Cup at the first opportunity by losing what looked like an unloseable game against NCI 5th XI on Parker's Piece on Sunday June 5th. Having dispatched NCI 4th in impressive fashion at the same venue last Summer, it should have been a comfortable outing against their younger sibling and certainly looked that way as our "Fire in Babylon" roster of pacemen kept the NCI score below three an over for almost their whole innings. Matt did everything but take a wicket, but Dan (2/11), Ullasa (1/35, the wicket coming off his first ball, and what a mess he made of the stumps!) and especially Ross (4/38) cashed in. NCI did break away a little in the last few overs to push up to 147/8 from 40 overs, some 20 more than had looked likely earlier. And we were rather more generous than we should have been, with 29 extras, including 2.5 extra overs of wides - second top scorer behind the opener who crafted a very patient 52. But 148 should have been well in range, so it was truly an impressive effort of will to ensure that we came up 20 short.

Having praised our resolve it is only fair to report that there was some doubt at the end as to whether we would actually pull it off. The start was everything we could have expected with the now familiar departure of Gabriel in the first over and then a rapid procession of others treading the same path to leave us 10/4 after a handful of overs. Ross and Al then did what they usually do and scored runs, but, creditably, somewhat less than they usually do, both departing for 23. Dan had an impressive knock for 20, but with the score at 93/8, it certainly looked like everything had gone perfectly to plan - an enjoyable afternoon out, some good bowling practice and no more Cup anxieties to side-track our assault on the league title. We even let Rads leave early to ensure that we would not have a full complement of 1 batsmen. But then, alarmingly, Scotch joined Matt at the crease and things began to go horribly wrong. As the runs kept flowing, many of the NCIers began to look distinctly worried - they had very obviously turned up with an intention to win, poor souls. Eventually, with Matt on 20 and Scotch on 7, the dastardly duo attempted one run too many and at 128/9 the curtain came down on proceedings - to the huge surprise and relief of NCI who were expecting a number 11 to emerge from the hutch.

With that nuisance out the way, all our attention is now focused back on the league where it belongs. How we will work out the excuses for subsequent league defeats remains to be seen.

Milan of the Match: Coton beat Barrington

On Saturday May 28th, two important cricket matches took place on different continents. In Chennai (*), India the Royal Challengers Bangalore took on the Chennai Super Kings in front of 50,000 colourful, exuberant supporters in the final of the 4th Indian Premier League.

Meanwhile in a grey, damp Coton (England) the home team welcomed Barrington 2nd XI in front of one man and a dog. Except that Alastair hadn’t brought his dogs this week so it was just one man: well done Neil!

The connections between the IPL and the CCA don’t end there. Each year in the IPL there is an auction where franchises pay stupid money for average players. This year in the CCA auction we recruited Ulassa Kodandaramaiah for two pints of Guinness and a packet of crisps: good deal, he bowled very well on his debut without taking a wicket. Don’t worry, it will come.

The weather for these home games is becoming very predictable. Grey, rainy mornings lead into improving conditions throughout the day just in time for a pleasant recap in the pub afterwards. We gave Barrington the first use of a wicket which played very well throughout. Ross used 6 bowlers to bowl Barrington out for 89 in the last over. It says something about the strength of the opposition when our best bowler didn’t get to turn his arm over (I was paid to write this).

All the bowlers performed well: the aforementioned Ulassa on his debut and Matt Chandler went wicketless whilst deserving better. Milan led the way by taking the first 4 wickets, Ross snagged 3, Dave Scotcher 2 and Charlie picked up the 10th. Milan was very close to a 5-for despite bowling into the teeth of a strong breeze (he isn’t senior enough to get the choice of ends yet). He went close to the 5th wicket several times non more so when Scotch just failed to reach a chance in the gully after one of his famous salmon leaps. There was some conjecturing that Scotch may have been the recipient of Milan’s pocket money as the latter didn’t have enough to buy the obligatory jug in the event that he took 5 wickets.

It was a very tight bowling performance all around helped by enthusiastic fielding and appealing. None more so than Gabriel’s scream of delight for what he thought was a stunning catch by Andy at short mid on. Andy dived like a halibut and rolled over with a bemused look on his face as Gabriel rushed to congratulate him: the fact that the ball was 30 yards away seemed to have eluded Mr Fox.

One catch that did stick was by Alastair off of Ross. From my position in exile at 3rd man I stopped looking at the passing cyclists long enough to witness the ball seemingly heading for Gabriel’s face at slip. Like a cobra striking its prey, Alastair’s hand was suddenly between the ball and Gabriel and the ball was nestling in his glove. It looked so casual that next time we need to make it a little more challenging by having Alastair keep wicket on a unicycle. Alastair also took a stumping standing back to Ross. He has persisted through 6 fruitless years of throwing the ball at the stumps from this position, and either missing or being late or both. Finally it paid off and the umpire rather sheepishly sent the batsman on his way.

Scotch finally got a bowl to finish off the innings with a caught and bowled: a previous possible caught and bowled from a ball that went a couple of hundred feet in the air having been hampered by the jetstream from a low flying Vulcan on its way to Duxford.

[Note to bowlers: any complaints about not getting enough overs will fall on deaf ears with this reporter.]

89 all out and Dave Simmons made it through a complete innings without heading the ball. We retired for tea, courtesy of Mr East. He’ll make someone a lovely wife one day.

The weather had gotten gradually better by the time we batted and we made steady progress through the first three wickets, needing 30 to win with 7 wickets standing and half the overs to get them.

Gabriel and Dave Simmons both went LBW to Barrington's opening bowler. Being kind we can say that Gabriel’s decision was “marginal” and Dave’s was “bleeding obvious”. Dave had been trying to give his wicket away from the start having narrowly survived his first ball. In the over he finally departed he was let off twice by the Barrington keeper (dropped catch, missed stumping).

Alastair and Milan seemed to be making serene progress to the victory until Milan holed out to mid on. In 30 years time, with a hundred more pounds behind the shot it would have cleared the fielder but for now it was a comfortable catch.

That precipitated a fall of wickets of Sri Lankan proportions as we tried to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. 63-3 became 63-4, 63-5, 63-6 & 67-7 as Rob (caught at cover), Alastair (bowled), Andy (caught) and Charlie (run out) came and went whilst a bemused Ross looked on helplessly (apart from running out Charlie). The run out was probably a tactic so that when we did eventually win the skipper’s innings looked even more important.

Ross Chandler was joined at the wicket by Matt (no relation) Chandler and the runs slowly came. Scotch had worked his way through his own finger nails and those of anyone unlucky enough to sit too near his as he watched anxiously. Ulassa seemed a lot more relaxed about the prospects of having to bat.

As Matt blocked his way to an important 2 not out, Ross knocked off the rest of the runs with some help from Mr Extras and we staggered over the line without losing any more wickets. Ross ended with a top score of 23 and Barrington’s unbeaten run was snapped.

So who was Milan of the Match? It’s between Milan the Man (4-16 & 16 runs) and Ross the Boss (3-15 and 23). Well done lads.

That leaves us firmly in mid table, 5th out of 9. Steeple Morden are the only unbeaten team although how much we can trust the CCA website is debatable when it reports results such as “Cambourne CC - 2nd XI Won by -1 runs”!

Fun (?) fact of the day: Coton’s highest 6th wicket partnership in 3 attempts this season is … 0! Being #7 on the batting order is a kiss of death so far – it’s always the number 7 who has been out.

(*) As Madras was renamed Chennai several years ago why do Indian restaurants still have Chicken Madras on the menu (not to mention Ceylon, Bombay…)?