The 2014 season drew to a close on an overcast September day in Lode. The rest of the teams having completed their seasons the previous week, our visit to Bottisham-Lode II was the only game in J6 North this weekend. The maths, as has been stated many times, was simple: win and we would be 2nd. A defeat could have dropped us as low as 4th. In front of a crowd of around 6, including the captain of Milton, whose team we would overtake in the event of a win we fielded first.
Any thoughts of Bot-Lode (as they kept referring to themselves) stacking the team with 1st XI players was dispelled. Matt and Not-so-Speedy Gonzales took the new ball in their contrasting styles. Some tight bowling kept the scores down and Matt broke through in the 5th over bowling his opposite number who had decided to heave across the line to a straight one. Matt's 4th over featured a flurry of wides, and he did the noble thing by withdrawing himself in favour of Anthony Lamb. Overall we did a good job sending Dan Garson to Australia in exchange for Anthony (despite Gabriel's obsessions). In his first over two perfect in swinging deliveries rearranged the stumps and Bot-Lode were struggling. Next over, Not-so-Speedy joined the fun pinning the remaining opener LBW. Three wickets down for no runs. Jenny had arrived to score, we could spot exactly where she had taken over from the legibility and lack of mistakes thereafter.
Adam Bradbury replaced Not-so-Speedy and captured a 5th wicket courtesy of a running catch from Dave Simmons. Adam got a lot of turn, beat the bat the regularly but had no further successes. Anthony hit the stumps again,. At this point the only fielding Rob had had to do was to recover the ball and bails after a succession of deliveries hit the stumps. His reward was to be given the ball with score on 54-6 at the halfway stage. Rob "Slowpoke Rodriguez" reeled of 6 tight over with lots of playing and missing and two wickets. These came off successive balls, both caught by Bobby at short point.
Bot-Lode were now 60-8, which soon became 67-9 as Chirayu took a stinging caught and bowled off a well hit drive.
Matt had had enough and decided to let Bot-Lode set a target through another over of wides. If they weren't going to score runs, we would damn well do it for them. The last partnership had amassed 32 runs by the time Bobby - whose run up is looking more and more like Bob Willis - stopped the fun by taking the last wicket.
99 all out. Mr Extras top scored again. Really, if we could collectively learn to bowl straight we would win more games more easily. Anthony lead the bowling with 3-19, and Rob 2-11. The other 5 bowlers all grabbed one wicket.
We needed 100 to win for that 2nd place. Any thoughts of nervousness in the batting were quickly dispelled as Bobby and Dave Simmons rattled up the score in their contrasting styles. The bowling was steady without being threatening. Dave clubbed some boundaries in the direction of long on and Bobby alternated between graceful deflections and aggressive pulls when they pitched short.
We were rattling along and the opening partnership had reached 69 when Bot-Lode introduced their teenage spinning prodigy from The Perse School. He caused several false shots from the batsmen before clean bowling Dave - for 40 - who had stepped back to play him through the offside. 260 runs in the season is easily Dave's best return for the club.
Bobby was looking untroubled and it was a huge surprise when 3 runs later he was strangled down the leg side for 25. This meant that he had scored 298 runs in competitive 1st XI games this year, including two 50s. It is hugely satisfying to watch young players develop like this and I look forward to watching it continue: either from the sideline or wearing an umpire's coat.
Adam was now partnering Gabriel. We had got to within 5 of our target when the next wicket fell. In the previous over Gabriel had a reprieve when he gloved a beamer to the wicket keeper. Chirayu gave the catch, but Rob at midwicket had already called no-ball for the height. The next over their was another no-ball which evaded batsman and keeper alike. The batsmen ran and in the confusion both ended up at the strikers end. The keeper broke the stumps and then threw the ball to the bowler's end where Adam had safely regained his ground.
Gabriel looked aghast as Chirayu again raised the finger and proceeded to argue long and hard with the umpire and the opposition before grudgingly hauling himself off the field. The disciplinary committee fined him 6 pints (and 3 cokes) after the match.
95-3, and Adam was ready to leave. He launched the first two balls of the next over to long on, first for two and then four. We were home with 17 overs and 7 wickets to spare.
At the mid point of the season we had 1 actual win and 2 by default. The second half started with a defeat to Milton, but then turned around with a run of 6 wins out of 7, including 5 in a row to finish the season off. The one defeat was a close run affair to the champions Madingley. The juniors grew in confidence and contribution whilst the seniors showed that they weren't going their places without a fight.
Bobby was top run scorer, followed by Simmo, Richard and Matt. Adam and Paolo had the best averages.
Amongst the bowlers, the wickets were widely shared, only Scotch (18) and Matt (16) getting more than 10.
Now there is the wait until the New Year to see how the CCA re-arrange the leagues next year. In the meanwhile, everyone involved should give themselves a hearty "well done" slap on the back for finishing 2nd. In particular, well done to Matt for pulling a team together every week and engendering the team spirit and enjoyment (winning helps).
Safwan still has 10 overs left, if needed.
Adam Lay I Bounden
Score Card
League Table
I apologize for the lateness and brevity of the report. My source has been pleading overwork, so when I finally chased him down to say some words we wasn't too forthcoming.
From what I can gather, the Coton promotion machine rumbles on to the last game of the season. For the second week running we were faced by a team of nine. Is this disrespect? "Oh, it's only Coton" I hear them say. "We can beat them with nine." "Including two grannies, and a cardboard cutout."
As it was when we last played, Longstowe's ground is the epitome of village cricket. A tree inside the boundary (bloody big and no-one managed to hit it), a mediaeval church, a changing room almost as old, and long grass covering the rolling outfield. Combined with the long boundaries the long grass helped keep the score down restricting the teams to a combined nine boundaries.
We opened with Mr Fox and Mr Elmes and they gave us a solid start, 29 in 12 overs, before Bobby was LBW to the more threatening of the two opening bowlers. Bobby's glances and flicks were being swallowed by the lush outfield, turning fours into twos. That's what coaching does for you, playing the ball on the ground isn't always the best idea.
Adam Bradbury joined Gabriel and the scoring rate went up. A bit. We made it to half way with one wicket down and sixty on the board before Gabriel was bowled.
This triggered that rarest of events: Ross Chandler batting for Coton, his first game for three years. This was a chance for him to show why his coaching of the juniors has brought so much success to the club in the last few years. Anyone suggesting "glory hunting" with promotion in sight are just being churlish. Ross scratched around for a few overs before departing, muttering about his eyesight, bringing Adam Wright to the wicket.
In the bible, the returning prodigal son is greeted with a coat of many colours and a fatted calf. Adam got a pair of shorts and a tuna sandwich. He was a little out of touch, and the Longstowe skipper was soon appealing for a caught behind. Rob turned it down on the basis that it had been edged into the ground and was a bump ball. Longstowe were still muttering about it for overs afterwards. On the next delivery the Longstowe captain "Mankaded" Adam Bradbury. Adam was palpably out of his ground, but the appeal was withdrawn and Adam told it was a warning.
Next ball, Adam Wright edged to the keeper again, and this time there was no doubt. The bowler then attempted to Mankad Adam again but the latter had gotten his bat down, just. He holed out a couple of overs later for a very impressive 44.
Richard stopped watching the buzzards long enough to bat, and with Matt started to up the score. It was still difficult to get away, and aggression was often rewarded with a wicket. Richard was LBW, Cameron bowled for a duck and Dominic run out, having been sent back by his skipper (no playing for the average there, then). Rob hit a couple of lusty blows before missing a straight one, and Matt saw out the innings with Tom. 139-9 was a struggle, but the bowling had been tight, the fielding enthusiastic, and the grass long.
Longstowe had similar problems scoring. Matt and Rob opened the bowling, and although both went wicketless in their opening spells kept the rate at under two an over. A couple of chances went begging to Rob's chagrin and the nerves set in. We needed wickets and Matt shuffled his pack. Last week's bowling star, Adam Bradbury, replaced Rob and then Ross came on for Matt. Adam wasn't quite on the money as had been the previous week and it was Ross that made the breakthrough. The opposition captain was his victim and he was sure that he had hit the ball. He had, but it was pad first, then bat which makes the LBW shout legitimate.
Ross went on to reel off 10 consecutive overs for just 19 runs. He didn't get another wicket but the required run rate was growing. From 3.5 per over when they started, to 4.5 at half way, to 5. Adam wheeled away with a combination of unplayable deliveries and slightly more playable ones. It was from one of the latter that the Longstowe number three slapped the ball into Gabriel's midriff at short mid-wicket. Matt shuffled his pack again. Ross was bowled out and Adam Wright got the call. Richard bowled a single over from the other end that included 4 wides and Rob came back for a couple more unsuccessful overs. All the while, the nine of Longstowe got closer and the score moved on to 93-2 with 10 overs left. 47 needed to win, with 6 wickets in hand.
Adam Wright immediately got impressive bounce and turn and got his reward by bowling the remaining opener. Matt span the wheel again and brought himself back. This was the decisive move. In four overs, 93-2 became 104-6. Adam got a 2nd from a smart catch by Cameron behind the stumps. Ross was encouraging Cameron to get closer and stay down longer and our young keeper became noticeably more decisive as the innings progressed. In the next over, Matt struck twice. The first was a leaping, diving take at midwicket by Gabriel. Richard mused that it was like a raptor taking a small bird in flight. Next ball Matt bowled the unlucky teenager that had been next to the wicket.
36 to win, but now only 2 wickets left. Adam Wright struck twice more. A towering shot was sent in the direction of long on. Gabriel steadied himself under the ball, read the coaching manual, consulted his stock broker and completed the third of a very impressive hat trick. Each was difficult in different ways and each taken. There have been other examples of the ball following a specific fielder (Bobby, Paolo) this season, and each has been up to the task when called upon.
By now Richard and Rob were both almost unable to move with injuries they had picked up and both were trying to avoid the call from Matt now he had finished his alloted overs. Neither was needed as Longstowe's last man advanced down the track and Cameron whipped off the bails to complete the stumping.
Longstowe were 121 all out, Coton victorious by 18 runs with 10 balls left. This puts us 3rd in the league and a win against Bottisham-Lode on the final day will see us into 2nd. It was a good all around team performance. Adam Bradbury lead the batting with his 44 supported by useful runs from Gabriel, Bobby, Richard and Matt. For the 2nd week running a wrist spinner called Adam took 4-10, this week it was Adam Wright. He did it in one over less than Adam Bradbury the previous week.
League Table
I apologize for the lateness and brevity of the report. My source has been pleading overwork, so when I finally chased him down to say some words we wasn't too forthcoming.
From what I can gather, the Coton promotion machine rumbles on to the last game of the season. For the second week running we were faced by a team of nine. Is this disrespect? "Oh, it's only Coton" I hear them say. "We can beat them with nine." "Including two grannies, and a cardboard cutout."
As it was when we last played, Longstowe's ground is the epitome of village cricket. A tree inside the boundary (bloody big and no-one managed to hit it), a mediaeval church, a changing room almost as old, and long grass covering the rolling outfield. Combined with the long boundaries the long grass helped keep the score down restricting the teams to a combined nine boundaries.
We opened with Mr Fox and Mr Elmes and they gave us a solid start, 29 in 12 overs, before Bobby was LBW to the more threatening of the two opening bowlers. Bobby's glances and flicks were being swallowed by the lush outfield, turning fours into twos. That's what coaching does for you, playing the ball on the ground isn't always the best idea.
Adam Bradbury joined Gabriel and the scoring rate went up. A bit. We made it to half way with one wicket down and sixty on the board before Gabriel was bowled.
This triggered that rarest of events: Ross Chandler batting for Coton, his first game for three years. This was a chance for him to show why his coaching of the juniors has brought so much success to the club in the last few years. Anyone suggesting "glory hunting" with promotion in sight are just being churlish. Ross scratched around for a few overs before departing, muttering about his eyesight, bringing Adam Wright to the wicket.
In the bible, the returning prodigal son is greeted with a coat of many colours and a fatted calf. Adam got a pair of shorts and a tuna sandwich. He was a little out of touch, and the Longstowe skipper was soon appealing for a caught behind. Rob turned it down on the basis that it had been edged into the ground and was a bump ball. Longstowe were still muttering about it for overs afterwards. On the next delivery the Longstowe captain "Mankaded" Adam Bradbury. Adam was palpably out of his ground, but the appeal was withdrawn and Adam told it was a warning.
Next ball, Adam Wright edged to the keeper again, and this time there was no doubt. The bowler then attempted to Mankad Adam again but the latter had gotten his bat down, just. He holed out a couple of overs later for a very impressive 44.
Richard stopped watching the buzzards long enough to bat, and with Matt started to up the score. It was still difficult to get away, and aggression was often rewarded with a wicket. Richard was LBW, Cameron bowled for a duck and Dominic run out, having been sent back by his skipper (no playing for the average there, then). Rob hit a couple of lusty blows before missing a straight one, and Matt saw out the innings with Tom. 139-9 was a struggle, but the bowling had been tight, the fielding enthusiastic, and the grass long.
Longstowe had similar problems scoring. Matt and Rob opened the bowling, and although both went wicketless in their opening spells kept the rate at under two an over. A couple of chances went begging to Rob's chagrin and the nerves set in. We needed wickets and Matt shuffled his pack. Last week's bowling star, Adam Bradbury, replaced Rob and then Ross came on for Matt. Adam wasn't quite on the money as had been the previous week and it was Ross that made the breakthrough. The opposition captain was his victim and he was sure that he had hit the ball. He had, but it was pad first, then bat which makes the LBW shout legitimate.
Ross went on to reel off 10 consecutive overs for just 19 runs. He didn't get another wicket but the required run rate was growing. From 3.5 per over when they started, to 4.5 at half way, to 5. Adam wheeled away with a combination of unplayable deliveries and slightly more playable ones. It was from one of the latter that the Longstowe number three slapped the ball into Gabriel's midriff at short mid-wicket. Matt shuffled his pack again. Ross was bowled out and Adam Wright got the call. Richard bowled a single over from the other end that included 4 wides and Rob came back for a couple more unsuccessful overs. All the while, the nine of Longstowe got closer and the score moved on to 93-2 with 10 overs left. 47 needed to win, with 6 wickets in hand.
Adam Wright immediately got impressive bounce and turn and got his reward by bowling the remaining opener. Matt span the wheel again and brought himself back. This was the decisive move. In four overs, 93-2 became 104-6. Adam got a 2nd from a smart catch by Cameron behind the stumps. Ross was encouraging Cameron to get closer and stay down longer and our young keeper became noticeably more decisive as the innings progressed. In the next over, Matt struck twice. The first was a leaping, diving take at midwicket by Gabriel. Richard mused that it was like a raptor taking a small bird in flight. Next ball Matt bowled the unlucky teenager that had been next to the wicket.
36 to win, but now only 2 wickets left. Adam Wright struck twice more. A towering shot was sent in the direction of long on. Gabriel steadied himself under the ball, read the coaching manual, consulted his stock broker and completed the third of a very impressive hat trick. Each was difficult in different ways and each taken. There have been other examples of the ball following a specific fielder (Bobby, Paolo) this season, and each has been up to the task when called upon.
By now Richard and Rob were both almost unable to move with injuries they had picked up and both were trying to avoid the call from Matt now he had finished his alloted overs. Neither was needed as Longstowe's last man advanced down the track and Cameron whipped off the bails to complete the stumping.
Longstowe were 121 all out, Coton victorious by 18 runs with 10 balls left. This puts us 3rd in the league and a win against Bottisham-Lode on the final day will see us into 2nd. It was a good all around team performance. Adam Bradbury lead the batting with his 44 supported by useful runs from Gabriel, Bobby, Richard and Matt. For the 2nd week running a wrist spinner called Adam took 4-10, this week it was Adam Wright. He did it in one over less than Adam Bradbury the previous week.
Wild, Wild West (Cambridge)
Scorecard
League Table
Do you ever have that experience where someone tells you one thing, but your brain hears another? And then no matter how hard you try you can't shake the original thought, even though you know it wrong? No? Must just be me then, and what follows may not make much sense.
Last Saturday Sheriff Wyatt "Matt" Earp rounded up the most unlikely looking posse in history and we road into Boot Hill looking for a cricket match. Following the Sheriff and duly deputized, were: Doc Holliday; The Preacher; Billy the Kid; Ned Kelly (visiting from Australia via the Zoology department); Butch Cassidy, The Sundance Kid; Blondie; Tuco; Angel Eyes; and Judge Roy Bean (the law west of the Gog Magogs).
Sheriff Earp finished the last of his cigarette and strolled out to face the leader of the Boot Hill Gang, mano a mano. It was the appointed hour of high one-thirty (noon would have sounded better).
"Call" said the opposing captain.
Sheriff Earp considered shooting the spinning 10p from the sky, but then considered what a total prat he would look if he missed.
"Tails."
"Tails it is."
"We'll have a bat".
And so it began. The showdown at the Tesco Superstore Coral.
Butch "David" Cassidy and Billy (Bobby) the Kid were first up, and we made a steady start punctuated with the odd boundary. By now my contact had realized that he was in fact in Bar Hill, not Boot Hill (but the music from "Il Buono, It Brutto, Il Cattivo" kept playing in his head) . The ground is so named as it has a fair slope running from one end to the other, and a bar (a very good one some of us discovered). Bar Hill only had nine on the field, but you somehow got the impression that we could hit the ball straight to fielders even if there weren't any. We had made it into the twenties when Judge Roy "Rob" Bean put the curse on Cassidy stating that he only needed another 6 to make it to 100 not out (adding last week's score to this). So Cassidy missed a straight ball and took a blow to the stumps. Doc "Fox" Holliday missed the next delivery, which was also straight, and was palpably leg before wicket. Adam "Blondie" Bradbury saw off the hat trick ball, and with Bobby the Kid built a good third wicket partnership.
There was some fine stroke play, some quick running and the score started to accelerate. It was clear now that Bar Hill had one accurate bowler, and a supporting cast of extras that were as likely to hit something as an extra in a Hollywood movie.
It was therefore surprising when Blondie was bowled, and Ned Kelly swept a ball straight to one of the scattered fielders. Alas it was the one that could catch.
Judge Rob Bean has been nagging the captain for a chance to bat all season. This was it. Was it worth it? Well, no. Despite his batting prowess, and looking every bit a solid opener, Bobby the Kid needs lessons in how to call for runs. Judge Rob may claim that he thought quickly and sacrificed his wicket to save the better batsman in the running mix-up. In reality he is too slow and was beaten by a direct through (the ball had gone to the fielder that could through straight). The Preacher now took strike.
[Fun aside, The Preacher is the name of Clint Eastwood's character in "Pale Rider", a movie in which the lead female character is called Sarah Wheeler...].
Bobby the Kid also succumbed to Bar Hill's accurate bowler, bringing the Sheriff in to join The Preacher. Together they took a very unpromising 78-6 to 150 before being parted. The Preacher, realizing that he was on 47, and that he hadn't brought enough cash for a jug took one on the toe to break the partnership. Tuco now joined the Sheriff. Bar Hill had obviously seen him bat and brought all their fielders into a close ring but Tuco defied expectations by hitting a boundary. The score continued to advance before Tuco tried a big swing and was bowled. This brought in Angel Eyes who accompanied the Sheriff to the last ball when the former was run out going for a dodgy second. This left the Sheriff - who had been cleverly avoiding the strike for some overs - stranded on 46 not out.
We had reached 194-9 in our 40 overs, a challenging total on a slowish pitch.
The Sundance Kid quietly cleaned his pistols.
After an excellent tea (and resisting the temptation of the Woodforde's Once Bittern on the bar) we resumed hostilities against the 9 men and 1 woman of Bar Hill (and additional player having arrived at the break).
Ned Kelly had a chance to make amends for his earlier batting mistake and opened with the Sheriff taking the other end. Both were accurate - much to the relief of the Judge behind the stumps. It was Ned that made the breakthrough, splaying the stumps of the opening bat. The next ball brought a rather streaky single, but then the other Bar Hill opener nicked one through to the Judge and we had them at 4-2. A caught behind is rather a rarity for Coton.
Ned Kelly bowled accurately and hostilely. There was a beamer that the batsman did well to avoid and the Judge took baseball catcher style followed by three short of length deliveries. That batsman - one of only two to reach double figures - played these by turning his head away, holding his bat out and dollying up catches to close fielders who weren't there.
The Sheriff had bowled well without reward, and now asked The Sundance Kid to step into the firing line. The latter soon took joined the party with a great ball that moved in and took off stump. Ned Kelly rattled the timbers again and The Sundance Kid made way for Blondie. The latter showed that he his adding more control, and more variations, to accompany the turn that his wrist spin had always generated.
Bar Hill reached half way on a stuttering 48-5, Blondie having pitched one on leg that spun past the outside edge to clip off. As a team we did an excellent collective job of not shouting "bowling, Shane" at every opportunity (Shane Warne that is, not the one in the Alan Ladd movie). Ned Kelly had bowled through, with the excellent figures of 10-1-16-3. I would say these were Scotch-like, but Ned isn't half the man that Dave is. Literally.
The rest of the innings featured a procession of Bar Hill batsmen failing to play Blondie's bowling with any conviction whatsoever and he proceeded to hit the stumps three more times. With Ned Kelly's spell complete, The Preacher and then Angel Eyes were bowling from the other end to Blondie. Angel Eyes has a fearsome run up, followed by a fairly gentle delivery. But in his first bowl for Coton, he too hit the stumps and without an 11th player Bar Hill had subsided to 70 all out (top scorer, the reliable Mr Extras). Blondie thus became the third member of the Coton Posse to avoid buying a jug, finishing with 5.2-1-10-4 and being denied a fifth wicket only by a lack of batsman.
It was a comprehensive win against a team that have struggled all season and are bottom of the league. A good team performance with contributions from the bat up and down the order and excellent bowling by all those called upon. We didn't have too much fielding to do. Eight of the wickets were bowled, with just the one catch.
It leaves us 4th with 2 games to play. The maths are simple: win them both, we finish 2nd. Lose either, or lose one or more to the weather, we don't. Yee ha!
League Table
Do you ever have that experience where someone tells you one thing, but your brain hears another? And then no matter how hard you try you can't shake the original thought, even though you know it wrong? No? Must just be me then, and what follows may not make much sense.
Last Saturday Sheriff Wyatt "Matt" Earp rounded up the most unlikely looking posse in history and we road into Boot Hill looking for a cricket match. Following the Sheriff and duly deputized, were: Doc Holliday; The Preacher; Billy the Kid; Ned Kelly (visiting from Australia via the Zoology department); Butch Cassidy, The Sundance Kid; Blondie; Tuco; Angel Eyes; and Judge Roy Bean (the law west of the Gog Magogs).
Sheriff Earp finished the last of his cigarette and strolled out to face the leader of the Boot Hill Gang, mano a mano. It was the appointed hour of high one-thirty (noon would have sounded better).
"Call" said the opposing captain.
Sheriff Earp considered shooting the spinning 10p from the sky, but then considered what a total prat he would look if he missed.
"Tails."
"Tails it is."
"We'll have a bat".
And so it began. The showdown at the Tesco Superstore Coral.
Butch "David" Cassidy and Billy (Bobby) the Kid were first up, and we made a steady start punctuated with the odd boundary. By now my contact had realized that he was in fact in Bar Hill, not Boot Hill (but the music from "Il Buono, It Brutto, Il Cattivo" kept playing in his head) . The ground is so named as it has a fair slope running from one end to the other, and a bar (a very good one some of us discovered). Bar Hill only had nine on the field, but you somehow got the impression that we could hit the ball straight to fielders even if there weren't any. We had made it into the twenties when Judge Roy "Rob" Bean put the curse on Cassidy stating that he only needed another 6 to make it to 100 not out (adding last week's score to this). So Cassidy missed a straight ball and took a blow to the stumps. Doc "Fox" Holliday missed the next delivery, which was also straight, and was palpably leg before wicket. Adam "Blondie" Bradbury saw off the hat trick ball, and with Bobby the Kid built a good third wicket partnership.
There was some fine stroke play, some quick running and the score started to accelerate. It was clear now that Bar Hill had one accurate bowler, and a supporting cast of extras that were as likely to hit something as an extra in a Hollywood movie.
It was therefore surprising when Blondie was bowled, and Ned Kelly swept a ball straight to one of the scattered fielders. Alas it was the one that could catch.
Judge Rob Bean has been nagging the captain for a chance to bat all season. This was it. Was it worth it? Well, no. Despite his batting prowess, and looking every bit a solid opener, Bobby the Kid needs lessons in how to call for runs. Judge Rob may claim that he thought quickly and sacrificed his wicket to save the better batsman in the running mix-up. In reality he is too slow and was beaten by a direct through (the ball had gone to the fielder that could through straight). The Preacher now took strike.
[Fun aside, The Preacher is the name of Clint Eastwood's character in "Pale Rider", a movie in which the lead female character is called Sarah Wheeler...].
Bobby the Kid also succumbed to Bar Hill's accurate bowler, bringing the Sheriff in to join The Preacher. Together they took a very unpromising 78-6 to 150 before being parted. The Preacher, realizing that he was on 47, and that he hadn't brought enough cash for a jug took one on the toe to break the partnership. Tuco now joined the Sheriff. Bar Hill had obviously seen him bat and brought all their fielders into a close ring but Tuco defied expectations by hitting a boundary. The score continued to advance before Tuco tried a big swing and was bowled. This brought in Angel Eyes who accompanied the Sheriff to the last ball when the former was run out going for a dodgy second. This left the Sheriff - who had been cleverly avoiding the strike for some overs - stranded on 46 not out.
We had reached 194-9 in our 40 overs, a challenging total on a slowish pitch.
The Sundance Kid quietly cleaned his pistols.
After an excellent tea (and resisting the temptation of the Woodforde's Once Bittern on the bar) we resumed hostilities against the 9 men and 1 woman of Bar Hill (and additional player having arrived at the break).
Ned Kelly had a chance to make amends for his earlier batting mistake and opened with the Sheriff taking the other end. Both were accurate - much to the relief of the Judge behind the stumps. It was Ned that made the breakthrough, splaying the stumps of the opening bat. The next ball brought a rather streaky single, but then the other Bar Hill opener nicked one through to the Judge and we had them at 4-2. A caught behind is rather a rarity for Coton.
Ned Kelly bowled accurately and hostilely. There was a beamer that the batsman did well to avoid and the Judge took baseball catcher style followed by three short of length deliveries. That batsman - one of only two to reach double figures - played these by turning his head away, holding his bat out and dollying up catches to close fielders who weren't there.
The Sheriff had bowled well without reward, and now asked The Sundance Kid to step into the firing line. The latter soon took joined the party with a great ball that moved in and took off stump. Ned Kelly rattled the timbers again and The Sundance Kid made way for Blondie. The latter showed that he his adding more control, and more variations, to accompany the turn that his wrist spin had always generated.
Bar Hill reached half way on a stuttering 48-5, Blondie having pitched one on leg that spun past the outside edge to clip off. As a team we did an excellent collective job of not shouting "bowling, Shane" at every opportunity (Shane Warne that is, not the one in the Alan Ladd movie). Ned Kelly had bowled through, with the excellent figures of 10-1-16-3. I would say these were Scotch-like, but Ned isn't half the man that Dave is. Literally.
The rest of the innings featured a procession of Bar Hill batsmen failing to play Blondie's bowling with any conviction whatsoever and he proceeded to hit the stumps three more times. With Ned Kelly's spell complete, The Preacher and then Angel Eyes were bowling from the other end to Blondie. Angel Eyes has a fearsome run up, followed by a fairly gentle delivery. But in his first bowl for Coton, he too hit the stumps and without an 11th player Bar Hill had subsided to 70 all out (top scorer, the reliable Mr Extras). Blondie thus became the third member of the Coton Posse to avoid buying a jug, finishing with 5.2-1-10-4 and being denied a fifth wicket only by a lack of batsman.
It was a comprehensive win against a team that have struggled all season and are bottom of the league. A good team performance with contributions from the bat up and down the order and excellent bowling by all those called upon. We didn't have too much fielding to do. Eight of the wickets were bowled, with just the one catch.
It leaves us 4th with 2 games to play. The maths are simple: win them both, we finish 2nd. Lose either, or lose one or more to the weather, we don't. Yee ha!
Bowled Jarrett caught Mastroeni (and repeat...)
Match reports, eh? A
bit like buses: they are always late, always stink, you seemingly wait for ever
for one and then two arrive almost together.
On Saturday 26th July, Coton took on local rivals
Madingley at The Rec. There was a
league debut for Ben Jarrett who had also been tapped by the opposition to play
for them only to discover that we had his league registration. The Chandler Youth had its usual representation
but there were less old codgers than usual. Madingley arrived as the league
leaders with a 100% record. Although
they departed with that record intact we gave them a good run for their money. If we play like that against the teams lower
down we could end the season on a high note.
The fixtures have a strange organization this year. The match was the 4th out of 5
successive home games, after which we will end the season with 4 consecutive
away matches. In spite of this the pitch
is holding up very well and indeed got a “good” rating from a very friendly
opposition.
Captain Moeen Chandler won the toss and we inserted
Madingley. The one-ball-per-game rule
really does affect these decisions although in general we seem to be better
setting a target than chasing. They got
off to a sound start in the face of some good bowling by Matt and Paolo. The opening partnership was then broken is
somewhat chaotic style. Matt dug one in,
and the Madingley opener’s attempted pull popped up on the leg side. Cameron raced out from behind the stumps but
could only take it on the first bounce.
Turning, he discovered that both batsmen were near the bowler’s end,
whereas the bowler was by the stumps at the other. The ball was calmly flicked in and Matt did
the rest.
Paolo came out of the attack with some very creditable – but
wicketless – figures but Matt continued.
They had almost reached 50 when Matt brought one back through the gate
to clean bowl the Madingley #3. This
precipitated a flurry of wickets. Scotch
had taken over from Paolo. In his next
over the first two balls disappeared to the boundary but the last two brought
wickets. The first was an LBW of the
other opening batsman. Scotch’s appeal
was impassioned, loud and long. At first
it looked like the decision would not be given but after the longest period of
consideration that I have ever seen the batsman was sent on his way. Next ball a tentative push looped off the
edge towards gully where Paolo, diving forward, took an excellent catch inches
off the turf.
Last week, I described Bobby as The Fielder Who Can
Catch™. This week he has a challenger:
Paolo, who took 4.
In the very next over, Matt rearranged the stumps again, in
the space of 12 balls we had 4 wickets for 8 runs, and Madingley were stumbling
at 56-5. There then followed a
recovery. The next batsman chanced his
arm and for 10 overs it came off. The
ball was often in the air, but only once went near a fielder when Bobby was
unable to hold on to what would have been the catch of the season at deep
midwicket. Scotch was on the receiving
end of many of these near misses, and Richard was the other suffering
bowler. We needed a boost and it came in
the shape of Ben’s wrist spin. His first
over featured 2 wides, 7 runs and 2 wickets.
The first was an incredibly laid back, casual one handed grab by John
Bason in the covers. The second was a
full toss that Paolo pulled down at deep midwicket. In his next over, Ben and Paolo repeated the
trick. Full toss, heave to leg, good catch
at midwicket. Another flurry of
wickets: 3 for 11 in 3 overs, had left Madingley on 118-8.
Rob had now replaced Richard, getting his usual swing, and
repeatedly beating both bat and stumps (and keeper) to no avail. So back to Ben, and a 3rd case of
Ct Mastroeni B Jarrett in very similar circumstances. The last wicket saw the ball pop up on the
leg side from Ben’s bowling and this time Cameron was able to make the ground
from behind the stumps to take the catch (with some juggling it must be said).
Ben finished with 5-26 from his first bowl in the league
showing the value of (a) a spin bowler on the dry wicket and (b) Someone Who
Can Catch™. Madingley were all out for
156, with 6 overs still to go, a lot less than they would have liked but maybe
30-40 more than they should have gotten.
We then enjoyed a very tasty tea featuring homemade
cakes. Thanks to the mums who arranged
this.
Bobby and Richard opened the batting carrying on the
young/old strategy. One was composed
and soon moving the score along. The
other was Richard who soon holed out to mid-on.
Paolo was undone by a ball that bounced a bit more than he expected and
he feathered a catch to the keeper.
Scotch, radically promoted to number 4 in a stunning move by Matt,
played down the wrong line and quickly succumbed to the Madingley leg spinner K
(not Kate!) Middleton.
The general consensus was that the bowling was OK but not
too threatening. Bobby had flourished
at the other end while the wickets were falling and now he was joined by
John. The runs accumulated steadily and
this pair put on 40 for the 4th wicket. It was only then that we twigged to
Madingley’s dastardly plan. The 5th
bowler that they brought on was their top wicket taker. As if that wasn’t bad enough they then
brought on a 6th. We had
heard the Aussie accent in the field and wondered. He wasn’t called Mitchell but he was
distinctly quick. Bobby pulled his first
ball for 4 but off the last ball of the over John could only help a quick
rising delivery on its way to the keeper and we were 78-4. Matt decided to take the attack to the
bowlers, swinging hard and often at the ball.
Sometimes he even hot it. Bobby
continued to accumulate at the other end and we reached the 2nd
drinks break at 96-4 , needing 61 off the last ten overs.
As often happens with these breaks wickets fell straight
afterwards. Bobby had been in for 30
overs and was looking a little tired by now.
He had just passed his 50 when Maggott tempted him into cutting one into
the hands of point, and later in the same over Matt was bowled leaving us on
101-6. Having been held back so long,
Damien the Aussie was now equally mystifyingly withdrawn from the attack. Cameron smashed a ball to the long off
boundary off the returning Middleton but attempting to repeat the shot later in
the over holed out in the deep. David
& Dominic tried their hardest to counter attack but both were bowled, the
former by Maggot and the latter by Damien the Aussie who was now back in the
attack. The run rate was now reaching
the impossible category but Ben and Rob had a few lusty swings before the
former was dismissed by a very sharp caught and bowled by the Aussie paceman.
A promising 100-4 had subsided meakly to 122 all out in the
penultimate over. Beaten, but not
disgraced, by the runaway league leaders we now have a week’s break. Call outs today for the excellent batting by
Bobby, catching by Paolo and Ben for his debut five-for. The secret cricketer would like it to be known
he was not out, again, Safwan would like Matt to know that he still has 10
overs available.
Wimblington: The Return of the Match Reports by The Secret Cricketer's Secret Correspondant
“so” the doctor said, “tell me about the
voices in your head.”
“They won’t go away,” I moaned. “they are with me all the time now.”
“And what do these voices say?”
“Many things. ‘Bowl at the top of off’, ‘look for a quick
single’, ‘get forward to it’, ‘don’t play across the line’ and such like. But most of all, and what scares me most is
the constant repetition of the phrase ‘what happened to the match reports?’ What can it mean? Is it to do with my mother?”
The answer was considered as he stroked his
beard. “Well, in my professional
opinion, what you need to do is PULL YOUR FINGER OUT AND WRITE A MATCH
REPORT. That will be £250 please.”
Now, you may know that I have an insider at
Coton CC from whom I get the lowdown and scoop on the game. This year he hasn’t been taking my
calls. I thought he might have retired,
or died. Turns out he was busy visiting
publishers trying to pitch his new book “I Am The Secret Cricketer”. Most recently he had been in the USA meeting
film studios. This was wholly
unsuccessful as (a) no-one in Hollywood had the slightest notion what
“creee-kit” was, and (b) no-one could decide if the story was a tragedy or a
comedy (hint: it’s both, often at the same time).
So, over a pint I carefully explained that
in order for him to write the book, he first needed to become a cricketer: “I Am The Secret Villager Who Was Press
Ganged On Saturday Morning” doesn’t have the same ring to it. Undeterred he
told me that his cricket was such a secret that even his captain didn’t realize
that he could bat (apparently) and proceeded to spill the beans on the game
against Wimblington.
The Coton team was divided into three
cliques that have become the norm in 2014: the geriatrics, the Chandler Youth
and the Captain. The opposition added a fourth variation, a cricketer of the female persuasion.
The Captain lost the toss in the time
honored tradition and thus we batted first on a sultry afternoon that got
warmer and sunnier as the day progressed.
I should introduce the villain of my story at this time. Captain Grumpy, fresh from his success as
Mainwearing in the Wimblington Village Players revival of Dad’s Army.
Dave Simmons and Bobby Elmes were chosen to
be the first representatives of experience and youth respectively. Dave’s experience was limited to two balls
whereupon he chose to ignore a straight delivery from a bowler with even more
experience under his belt and got himself bowled: 0-1. This brought Paolo in to join Bobby, and the
tyro half centurions from the previous two weeks set about building a
total. This was helped by some very
wayward bowling (eventually there were 36 wides in the innings) and a very
shellshocked Wimblington keeper. She did
manage to hold on to a catch off Bobby (22) to split a very promising
partnership.
This brought Safwan to the wicket for what
could be his last appearance for Coton.
It’s been a blast (literally). We’ll
miss your batting, your eccentric bowling, even your fielding but especially
your unique sense of humour. Yes, we
know you still have ten overs left. I
hope you got to the plane on time!
The
innings was typical Safwan, short, brutal and to the point. Paolo was also getting into his stride,
including one big six to midwicket, which prompted another discussion on the Laws
of Cricket with Captain Grumpy. It was this
that prompted Rob to offer to captain the team to allow Captain Grumpy more
time to do the umpiring.
Whatever.
The runs kept piling on. Olli had
now joined Paolo and we passed 100 in the 17th over with just three wickets down. Paolo eventually went for 40,
caught and bowled by Wimblington’s fifth – and best – bowler. He ended up taking four wickets and making Rob
and Scotch feel young into the bargain.
Matt “Moeen” Chandler didn’t trouble the scorers (this is expected of Coton
Captains) and was replaced by Cameron “Wolverine” Black. Another good partnership ensued and it was
quite a surprise when first Olli (for 47, just short of a maiden half century)
and then Cameron (17) were winkled out.
Safwan was by now endearing himself to Captain Grumpy by calling 3 or 4
wides per over (they were deserved). We
had been rolling along at over 6 runs per over so the new batsmen – Gabriel and
Paul “Indiana” Bradbury – decided to slow things down so Wimblington could have
a feasible target. This didn’t stop
Paul stroking some boundaries before being given LBW to allow Scotch and Rob to
finish off the innings with a flurry of boundaries and quick running between
the wickets. (The last part is a lie:
even the opposition sledged that they wouldn’t be running any quick singles).
The innings drew to a close on 247-9.
Wimblington’s innings started with the
contrasting styles of Matt and Rob. The
former was giving the opposition a thorough examination with some accurate, aggressive
bowling. The latter was slower and less
threatening so it was no surprised when he broke the open partnership by
getting Captain Grumpy to chip one to Bobby (The Fielder Who Can Catch™) at short
midwicket. Two balls – and one boundary –
later it was two down as Rob rearranged the stumps and removed their number
three. Rob’s reward was to be make way
for Olli.
Olli was, let’s be charitable,
wayward. In four overs he put down
about a dozen wides, but when he did get it straight it was very good, too good
for the Wimblington #5 who was clean bowled.
At the other end, Scotch had been inspired by Wimblington’s older
bowlers and reeled off seven overs that brought two wickets for just eighteen.
At the halfway stage there were five wickets down, and still almost 180 to
get. It was over as a contest but we
kept up the pressure. Paolo replaced
Olli and took his maiden league wicket courtesy of a catch by Bobby (The
Fielder Who Can Catch™) at short cover.
Paolo bowled quickly and accurately.
Safwan was given a short burst to allow
Captain Grumpy to call some wides, including one that went in between the batsman’s
legs and one that passed between the batsman and the stumps. Bobby took over from Paolo and immediately
struck. The Wimblington ‘keeper patted
one straight back to him and being “The Fielder Who Can Catch™” Bobby took his
third catch of the innings. Two overs
later Wimblington’s top scorer picked out Olli in the covers and gave Bobby his
second wicket.
They were now eight down but it was getting
darker and a storm was threatening. This is “friendly” village
cricket, nevertheless we suspected that Captain Grumpy would try to appeal
against the light given the chance. Matt
decided we needed to get through the overs quickly. Of course, the reason that is was getting late was that Captain Grumpy had spent hours shifting fielders a few feet on a regular basis: Ross would have been proud of him. Dave Simmons was brought on to bowl off a
couple of paces, and Matt bowled his off spin.
Together they engaged in a competition to see who could get through an
over faster. Matt won that, but Dave
took two wickets in the 40th over, the second coming off the final
ball of the game to finish with 2-2. A
typical Coton batsman: he took more wickets than he scored runs.
Wimblington finished on 125, just past half
way to their target. Captain Grumpy
marked the pitch as bad (yeah really, bad enough for us to score 247) and
departed back to the fens chuntering.
It was comprehensive win. Set up by excellent batting from the Chandler
Youth (Olli was unlucky to fall just short of 50) and wrapped up by some good
bowling by young and old with six different people chipping in with
wickets. Captain Grumpy excepted,
Wimblington were a friendly bunch to play against, our next opposition – the unbeaten
Madingley – may prove a different kettle of fish.
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