A Wise Philosopher...
Heads We Win
Coaches will always tell you to use your head when playing cricket.
- Look where the fielders are and try to hit the ball where they aren’t.
- If a batsman is strong on the leg side don’t bowl him a series of leg side long hops.
- If there is no one backing up at the stumps don’t fling the ball in so hard it goes for 4 overthrows.
It’s all about applying some thought and, “using your head”.
I bet Dave Simmons wishes he hadn’t taken those coaches so literally now.
After another week of brilliant spring weather Saturday again dawned dull and overcast with a strong wind whipping across Coton Rec. Having secured our tape measure back from the “Fun Run” organisers the usual suspects proceeded to prepare for the visit of Girton who we had last played a couple of years ago. Three changes from the previous week saw Adam Wright back in the team, the return of Dave Hale who had taken the 2010 season as a sabbatical and Charlie Stevenson making his debut.
Ross won the toss, inserted the opposition and we got first use of the shiny, new, new ball that Andy had picked up from Cricket Stick earlier.
Charlie got first use and soon discovered what countless generations of Coton quick bowlers before him had suffered through: banging it in short will not get you any bounce. Once he adjusts to this he will be quite a handful in J4B as he showed when he pitched one up to the Girton opener and elicited an edge to first slip. Gabriel’s hours of practice on slip cradle paid off and he held a very sharp rising chance. Having just spent 10 minutes dropping, fumbling and juggling easier catches in front of the Girton team they looked suitably stunned by the catch (as we did!).
The wicket was timely. Girton had gotten away to a quick start using the pace of Charlie to rattle up some runs and also taking the attack to Milan who had opened at the other end.
Ross is a decisive captain and he soon rang the changes to stop Girton getting on top. Adam took wickets in successive overs, first bowling the Girton captain having totally bemused him with some sharp turn and then enticing the wicket keeper to lob a catch to Dave Simmons.
Ross removed the other opener in a tight spell that encouraged a lot of “ohhs” and “ahhs” from the close field. A note on that field: Ross kept attacking throughout and it paid dividends.
Despite the two wickets it looked like Adam was coming in for some tap so he made way for Dave Scotcher and Charlie came back for a 2nd spell, Ross having removed the other opener.
Charlie then showed how quickly he was adapting to the Coton wicket by bowling a rank long hop that pinned a bemused Girtonian in front on the 2nd bounce. Like all wickets this one was obviously the bowler's cunning plan all along and not at all due to the batsman looking for a fast chest high ball rather than one that slowly rolled into his ankle.
Scotch ripped out the next batsman’s middle stump before resorting to the “bad balls take wickets” stratagem. The Girton batsman made good contact with a shortish ball and launched it towards cow corner. Dave Simmons had been placed there for just such an eventuality and steadied himself for the catch. There then followed the awful sound of ball hitting skull as Dave decided to forego the use of hands and use his head. Gabriel was quick to respond making sure the ball was out of play before attending to Dave who was bleeding profusely. The first aid kit was brought into play and an ambulance summoned to whisk away the unfortunate Dave who was getting very little (no) sympathy from Scotch for missing a chance of his bowling.
This threw us for a moment but we regrouped. Milan returned to the attack and got a deserved wicket and Ross took another to have them 8 down for less than 100. There was then a fight back by Girton for the 9th wicket which we kept in check with some good fielding aided and abetted by Girton’s #10 not being able to keep pace with his younger, fleeter, partner. It was no surprise when we finished things off with 2 run outs. The first was from a throw by Adam that missed the stumps at the bowler’s end (to which he was throwing) and ran out the struggling batsman with a direct hot at the other end. The second run out was a cool underarm return from Charlie.
128 all out with just over two overs remaining: the wickets spread between 5 bowlers and some eager fielding.
Alastair provided the teas and the “peanut butter with marmite and cucumber” sandwiches proved to be rather tasty.
Gabriel and Dave Hale opened the batting in their contrasting styles. Dave bludgeoned some fierce boundaries whilst Gabriel accumulated in a more circumspect manner. This included one “6” for Gabriel that resulted when a wild return from a quickly run two evaded the keeper and the fielders before running away for 4 overthrows. They all count and looking back no-one will be able to differentiate between this 6 and one that had been achieved with a powerful shot.
Dave was getting into the groove but in trying to smash a 3rd successive boundary played all around a straight ball that rearranged his stumps.
This brought in Alastair. Having survived a straight forward chance to the keeper he started to play an array of shots that had the score rattling along nicely. We had passed 80 just before the half way stage and drinks were being readied when Gabriel lost his wicket. This was almost a carbon copy of the previous game where he succumbed at the same stage of the innings. Perhaps next time we should hide the drinks so he doesn’t get distracted.
Milan replaced Gabriel and proceeded to look very comfortable and elegant although unfortunately he managed to pick out fielders with all but one of his shots. With Alastair he took the score past 100 before getting out in a very similar way to the previous week from a ball that seemed to stop on him.
This brought a very surprised Rob to the wicket. Even with only 10 fit batsmen (the injured Dave Simmons being absent) he had been expecting to be number 11.
However he was quickly into his stride and smashed a couple of leg side boundaries. (Rob is still to score on the offside this season so a savvy captain would employ a 0/9 split field). Alastair was seeing the ball beautifully now and the remaining runs were knocked off in double quick time – the final four taking him to a well deserved 50.
So we had a win by 7 wickets with 13 overs to spare. The final overs had been watched by a crowd that must have been close to double figures: a possible record for Coton CC.
A few minutes after we finished the match the rains came down as we savoured the jugs provided by Mr Breward. A fitting end to an enjoyable day, and best wishes to Mr Simmons for a speedy recovery.
Bali-Hi (& Bali-low)
Every year, in early May (or late April), thousands of people up and down the country look forward to their first cricket game of the year, whilst thousands of wives and girlfriends look forward to days of unencumbered shopping. Months of dedicated training in the winter nets will be put to the test. All those resolutions (“I will not throw my bat at the first ball”, “I won’t bowl leg side wides”, etc) will be mulled over and rejected at the first possible opportunity.
A quick search of the kit bag will reveal that the whites were forgotten at the end of the last season and now support new life forms hitherto unknown to science. Or perhaps you had forgotten that you needed a new shirt/trousers/whatever for the new season. A quick trip to Sports Direct will be required.
You will stay off the beer on Friday night and get a good night’s sleep to be fit and ready (yeah right).
And then, true to form, having just come through the driest April since records began you awake on Saturday morning to the sound of raindrops hitting the window ledge and curse the fact that you didn’t shut the window the previous night.
This was the prospect of Coton CC 2011 as they prepared for the game against Barley. Gabriel had made a start on the pitch preparations and slowly others rolled up to help. A pitch was lovingly (if slightly crookedly) cut, rolled – with our shiny new roller – and marked. The ropes that cordoned off the training areas that had encroached into the outfield were carefully removed and a boundary measured and marked.
Dave Simmons arrived with the teas and the rest of team having waited around the corner until the pitch prep was complete made an appearance. There was a mix of old (and very old) faces and debuts for Milan Mniszko and Adam Bradbury who at 13 had just become of age to play for the seniors. It was a very sobering thought for the older members of the team that there was more than 40 years separating them from the debutants. Even with all that experience the latter were still smart enough to let the former do the pitch work though.
Such are the joys of village cricket, long may they endure.
King George had abdicated at the end of the previous season (some lame excuse about marriage and moving) so Saturday May 7th saw the start of the reign of King Ross (the 1st of his name). There was no coronation ceremony, not even a haka, before Ross strolled out to the middle. Following the time honoured tradition of Coton captains he lost the toss and we were given first opportunity to bat.
Meanwhile in the dressing room there was much discussion about where Barley was located. Down south was proffered and for a short time I was picturing a tropical Indonesian island with exotic maidens. No such luck.
Gabriel and Ross donned the pads, Rob and Andy donned the coats and after a short panic we located the match ball, bails and counters. And the 2011 season was underway with a play and a miss from Gabriel.
It was soon evident that in true Coton tradition the pitch was low and slow. Gabriel prodded and poked, and Ross hit one cracking boundary before being undone by one that stopped on him resulting in a lob back to the bowler.
Alastair had one pure comedy moment – stretching forward, he managed to slip, fall & crawl back into the crease to avoid being stumped: perhaps it was the wicket keepers union at work, the Barley keeper being so slow to take the bails. He was then removed by a ball that lifted, cut and clipped the off bail. This brought the first of our tyros to the wicket. Milan played some glorious shots which even had the opposition purring in approval. He was to perish in the same manner as Ross, who had early been lecturing in the perils of Coton wickets: obviously a case of “do as I do, not do as I say”. I should point out that the bowler was called “Chuck”: an appropriate name if I ever heard one! He bowled 10 overs and took 2 for 7. Very tidy indeed.
This was in the 9th over and Gabriel had just got in the mark. I was going to make a comment about his snail’s pace batting but do not want be accused of snailism.
Dave and Gabriel then engaged in the biggest partnership of the day, both hitting some fine shots and the score progressed past 50 just before the 20th over mark when Gabriel became the 2nd victim for a very animated Jimmy Ghani whose appeals ranged from promising through optimistic to downright ludicrous.
Adam Bradbury showed great composure on his debut despite watching Dave Simmons (top score, 20) and Andy East depart to successive deliveries. Andy’s patented shuffle back and across didn’t fool the umpire at all and he was plumb LBW, Dave went to a good catch off a well struck shot.
There then followed the most controversial moment of the match. A ball evaded the Barley keeper and scuttled away for byes. The fielder at fine leg slid and stopped the ball but was patently over the boundary in doing so. The batsmen were coming back for a 2nd when he pinged the ball in and Matt Chandler was caught short of his ground. The fielder appeared to be signalling a boundary but Matt was given out. After some discussion he departed but Ross intervened with the Barley captain and the umpires resulting in Matt being recalled.
Gordon also bagged an LBW and Matt went for real a few overs later. Scotch and Rob then put on 14 for the last wicket taking the innings into the 40th over before Scotch was unluckily stumped by a ball that rebounded off the keeper.
Teas, courtesy of Mr Simmons, were gratefully consumed despite Scotch’s moaning about a lack of pickle/mustard/condiment in the sandwiches. The French Fancies were very good.
And then we bowled and fielded. Barley got off to a slow start against accurate bowling of contrasting styles from Matt and Milan. Neither could make the breakthrough despite many close calls so Ross rang the changes bringing himself on along with Rob. After a couple of tight overs Rob bowled a few loose deliveries and got the hook to be replaced by Scotch and there followed 20 overs of very tight bowling as Barley fell behind the required scoring rate.
This was punctuated with a steady drip of wickets. Ross snagged one opener with the third caught and bowled of the match having hesitaited just long enough to need a dive to make the catch look spectacular. Dave bowled the other opener and Ross got a 2nd wicket with a good catch from Alastair.
At this stage it was anyone’s game with the required run rate going up and some tight bowling and fielding keeping Barley under pressure.
Milan came back for a 2nd spell after Ross’s spell of 2-19 in 10 overs came to an end. The former had been unlucky not to get a wicket in his first spell but he didn’t have to wait too long second time around. A sharp catch by Dave Simmons at backward square removed the dangerous – and enthusiastic – Ghani. Milan took a second with an LBW coming round the wicket to a left hander, the ball straightening enough to trap him in front.
That was the last wicket to fall and Barley now staggered across the line with 10 balls to spare to end a close match in the best weather of the day.
And so the 2011 season starts with a defeat. On the plus side we had highly promising debuts from Milan and Adam, solid batting from Dave Simmons and Gabriel and good tight bowling from Scotch and Ross. Next week it’s Girton. Two years ago we beat them twice without losing a wicket. Let’s hope for something along those lines this time.
End of Term Report for Coton, Form J3B
- Attendance - B+ - would have been an "A" except for some late arrivals. There will be delays on the M11 on Saturdays and 2 dogs are insufficient to pull a bike at more than 5 mph: these are known facts and should be accounted for. Changing in cars on the way to games should also be discouraged.
- Appearance - B - generally well turned out with a few execptions. Younger members of the team should be encouraged to keep their shirts on.
- Batting - C+ - despite the loss to injury of the team's best batsman and the frequenct unavailability of the captain, an improvement over previous years. Only one calamitous collapse and regularly batting through the full 40 overs. Next year emphasis should be on scoring a few more runs during those overs and better pacing of the innings.
- Bowling - C - oh dear, a distinct dropping off in standards in terms of the runs allowed per wicket and the totals achieved by the opposition. Some mitigating factors in better pitches and an equivalent improvement in the scores achieved on the batting side.
- Fielding - C+ - there is an old adage that senior members of the team should be positioned at slip to avoid the unedifying prospect of watching them lumber after the ball. Unfortunately that would mean Coton deploying 6-7 slips, and their bowlers have not proved worthy of this. Some spectacular catches and not too many comedy moments. Could do better.
- Captaincy - A - perhaps an unfair assessment given the author of the report. During the season Coton tried a tactic of taking to the field with 11 captains despite evidence that this rarely, if ever, succeeds.
- Umpiring - B - a commendable desire to be honest which is out of line with many teams in the league and more members of the team volunteering to stand. With a little more "benefit of the doubt" applied better results could be achieved.
- Scoring - B+ - attempts to computerise the scoring were only partially successful due to the affects of sunlight (yes, there was some) and power. More successful was the late season introduction of legibility and couloured pencils to the scorebook.
- Pitch Preparation - A - Much improved this season. Thanks to all the crews that turned out during the week and at weekends to prepare the wicket. The hard work is reflected in higher scores, longer matches and less injuries. At least one visiting captain gave the pitch a "good" rating.
- Catering - B - some last minute scrambles (and I don't mean eggs) but always got there in the end. Balance of sandwiches and cakes about right. Coton and its visitors were never underfed as evidenced by the team profiles.
- Drinking - B- - a weaker performance than in previous seasons. Perhaps due to longer matches meaning later arrivals and a higher percentage of out-of-village players. This trend must be reversed otherwise action will need to be taken.
- Chuntering - A - If Leagues were won by how good a game a team can talk then Coton would have been challenging for promotion rather than struggling at the lower reaches of the division. An area that needs no improvement next season and a solid pass in prospect.
Beamers, Bouncers, Balsham and Bugger, we lost again
After a little bit of panic on the Friday the weather did actually help out with a drying wind and Neil (with help from Billy, Scotch and Rob) was able to prepare a belter of a wicket. In a season where wins have been hard to come by the improvement in the Coton wicket has been a source of some satisfaction so thanks to everyone who put the time in: you know who you are!
With George missing, Rob became tosser-in-chief for the day. Scotch was back after ditching us for some roller coasters the previous weekend. One Haynes was replaced by the other, Rabboni was back after missing several games as was Rob McCorquodale and Dennis Finn made a 2nd appearance.
Someone will need to explain to me: how come Andy East has a spare pare of whites that fit Dennis? It must be said that Andy has a kit bag somewhat larger than the team’s kit bag so perhaps he has an assortment of sizes just in case?
There was a last minute panic when Courtney called off. Billy was quickly on the phone to Adam and with some subtle (and not too subtle) encouragement the latter agreed to play. Neil leaped into his car and dashed off to collect our XIth man, the latter changing into his whites in the car on the way back. Just what the police would have made of the scene if they had pulled Neil over whilst Adam was in mid-change we can only imagine. CWO Fox: have a word, please!
[We later found out that both Andy and I had the wrong mobile #s for Adam. So some very confused person has been getting messages if they were available on Saturday but for some strange reason never answered. This lead to much debate about services available on mobile phones, especially in Germany.]
The match progressed through its usual phases, the stand in tosser having won the toss and put Balsham in:
• Fielding & Bowling (including some raining)
• Eating
• Batting
• Cleaning
• Chuntering
With Neil still en route ferrying Adam we started with Billy and Rob. Billy was bowling some beautiful stuff interspersed with head high beamers at a batsman we later found out was legally blind. Rob carried on from where he had left off the previous week and bowled 5 economical overs without getting any luck. Billy struck first, helped out by a good running catch by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC. Neil had arrived back with Adam and a very relieved Simmons Junior was allowed to leave the playing area.
Ringing the bowling changes brought wickets. Dave “other big guy” Scotcher replaced Rob, and Neil took over from Billy. Neil proceeded in the Coton tradition of bowling body line short pitched deliveries at 4 year olds and vehemently disputing wides (in his defence, some of the so called wides were passing over the top of the stumps or brushing the batsman’s body). Dave continued his traditions of taking wickets, not conceding runs and diving in instalments.
I pause here to mention that Dave only came 4th in the slo-mo diving competition this week. There are honourable mentions for long-name Rob and Andy but the winner was short-name Rob who rather than taking two steps to the left to stop the ball, went to ground early, made a daisy chain and then had to shuffle forward as the ball may well not have reached him.
Dave bowled the first of the Balsham Juniors and then the other opener. On each occasion they could well have been LBW first but Dave wasn’t taking any chances (just as well, no LBWs were being given) and hit the stumps for good measure.
Neil produced two cracking yorkers to rearrange the stumps along with a sharp parry and catch from Gabriel at midwicket. Dave took two more wickets and Balsham were 76-8 and things were looking good. Scotch’s final figures 10 overs 5 maidens 10 runs 4 wickets – brilliant work.
76-8 became 156-8 and we did not feel any better that Balsham told us later that they had reversed the order to give the kids a chance as their season was more or less over since they were effectively relegated.
Dave Simmons made the teas and very fine they were to with plenty of cakes to give us our sugar boost. The teas were in fact almost as good as his wicket keeping, Dave having stepped into the breach left by a holidaying Alastair: our 2nd good stand in keeping performance in successive weeks.
And then we batted.
Gabriel and Dave got us off to now regulation slow and steady start but both perished in the 15th over looking to move the score along. Adam and Dennis took over (great fielding by the way, Dennis) and got us moving. Dennis was only able to connect with a couple of lusty blows before being bowled and was replaced by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC who produced his highest score for Coton.
Some classy looking shots from Adam propelled us forward (top score – 37, 5 fours) and kept us in the chase before he eventually succumbed to the 3rd change bowler. At 117-4 with around 8 overs left to get 40 runs we were looking good.
One over later it was 117-7. Billy Haynes had helped Rob “I’m still not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC put on 20 for the 5th wicket before becoming the first of 3 Coton players to succumb to Ford’s off cutters during the course of one over. Andy went first ball and although Rabboni survived the hat trick he didn’t last the over.
Tosser Rob joined “no way am I typing his whole name again as its too long” Rob but unfortunately the latter was to pick up a hamstring strain. Rabboni came on as a runner. The opposition were incredibly generous in letting us have someone young and quick run for someone who is, well, less young and somewhat slower.
The Two Robbies decided to see if they could get them in boundaries anyway before Rob 1 decided to end the confusion of the runner by getting himself out leg before (35, including 6 fours). There were around 20 to get off the last 2 overs.
Rob-2 smashed a 4 through square leg (literally, the fielder got several fingers to the ball on its way to the boundary). Dave Scotcher went through the steps that Chris Cooke had patiently taught him in nets and played a forward defensive that was immaculate in all respects other than hitting the ball and he (re) joined the primary club. Last man Neil came to the crease. A couple of quick singles, some wides and one unnecessary dive later we got to the last over needing 15 to win.
A single for Neil was followed by a maximum from Rob who having carefully noted that the fielder on the mid wicket boundary was only 3’6” smacked it 10 yards past him. Going for a repeat off the next ball Rob was then bowled with us 8 short of parity.
We’d given it a go but in the end not quite there, again.
We are still above Balsham and Weston Colville who both have two games left. We could still avoid relegation but even then there are rumours of reorganisations that may mean more than 2 teams get relegated. At the end of the day in a season with only 3 wins (none at home) in a season we can have no complaints about being relegated.
And so we headed down to the Plough for the eseential final part of any cricket match: the chuntering. Several hours later we had re-engineered events to the extent that we were unlucky not to have been promoted: missing players, retired players, missed catches, LBWs given or not given, teams fielding 1st team players, etc., etc. Yes, we were hard done by (not).
Play Cricket!
Drink Beer!
Talk Bollocks!
See you at the AGM.
One Fling to Rule Them All
Expecting a cancellation Scotch had chosen to remain in Windsor. Rob had been intercepted en route to Millwall which turned out to be a blessing in disguise and there was a last minute scramble to get a full team. Mitchell was drafted in to make up the XI and Sam took up the gloves in the continued absence of Alastair.
Tosser-in-chief George was unable to fool the NCI skipper who duly inserted us to bat under threatening skies. Gabriel and Dave Simmons opened and put on 43 (our largest opening stand of the year) playing through a shower against bowlers that had difficulty with their footing. One in particular did a 10 yard slide along the wicket to prove a point. It took a change of bowling to disrupt the serene process Dave had been having problems penetrating the field (ooh, er) and finally smashed a loose ball straight at someone who could catch. This brought George to the wicket.
Meanwhile, several members of the team scrambled around to get a tea organised, Dave having been confounded by the on/off will/wont we play nature of the morning. A last minute dash to the garden centre produced rolls, cheese and ham to accompany the left over cakes from the previous week.
George promptly smashed a couple of fours before mistiming a sweep and lobbing a catch over his shoulder to the wicket keeper. Next ball, Richard was a victim to the same combination. Perhaps he was distracted by the swallows flitting around the sky? Whatever, he feathered a sharply turning ball into the keepers gloves and we were suddenly three down.
Adam came in and along with Gabriel (yes, he’s still there) propelled us along towards the hundred before becoming the first of 3 wickets to fall on 97. The second of these was the unluckiest. The players having crossed on the fall of the wicket, Jack was at the non-striker’s end. Gabriel played the ball square on the leg side, the batsmen set off for a quick single only to be undone by a sharp throw and direct hit. 99 times out of 100 that would have been a safe run but Jack was run out without facing (does that make him eligible for the pre-primary club?).
Sam & Andy also perished without scoring and it was left to Mitchell and Gabriel to see out the innings. Gabriel ran himself out off the last ball going for a suicidal 2nd run but his job of holding the innings together had been executed to perfection: 37 runs off 125 balls had been done. It was a shame that the batsmen at the other didn’t – for the most part – respond and as so often happens in Coton games Mr Extras was the 2nd top scorer. 116-8 seemed about 20-30 runes short and so it was to prove.
By the time we fielded the weather had improved. One the plus side it meant that the bowlers weren’t doing a triple lutz on each delivery but on the minus the outfield was faster. Fast and slow was the order of the day with Neil from the Footpath end and Rob from the top end. In Rob’s first over the opening batsman was undone by a ball that moved a long way to clip off stump whilst aiming over mid wicket. Neil had a couple of straight LBW decisions denied and the NCI skipper put the ball through George’s hands at point before he had scored. Another breakthrough would have been deserved at this juncture but it wasn’t to be.
The NCI skipper and wicket keeper accumulated steadily from an array of bowlers: Adam, Jack, George and Dave all tried without luck whilst Rob took on the Scotcher mantle. That doesn’t mean the oldest, slowest bowler on the team (but he was that as well) but the most economical: 7 overs, 8 runs, 1 wicket. He had found a line and length that made scoring very difficult.
We finally got the breakthough when a returning Neil castled the second opener. NCI only needed 20 to win at this point. The wicket brought their number four to the crease, and resulted in one of the season’s champagne moments. Richard had now entered the attack. After two steady overs he started the next with a high full toss no ball that the NCI skipper smacked to square leg. In a quick piece of thinking, Jack declined to catch the ball realising it would have not been out. By this time the NCI batsman had joined his captain at the striker’s end only to be informed that he needed to return to whence he had came. Jack propelled the ball to Richard who removed the bails and we had a run out. As we gathered to congratulate Jack and Richard the NCI batsman recovered his bat. You could sense that an explosion was imminent and sure enough half way back to the pavilion Mr Throwdo let fly with a string of expletives and a bat which arced through the air with a flight longer than one of Gabriel’s biggest hits.
Unnerved by this, Richard served up an over of wides, full tosses and no balls that yielded the 20 runs needed to win. Game over. NCI had won with 8 overs to spare and only 3 wickets down. By now the weather was positively balmy and we retired with the pub with (some of) the NCI team to do our best grumpy old men impersonations in the sunshine. One more game to go against bottom of the league Balsham: they have dodged us once, lets hope they don’t do it again!
A final note: thanks to Jenny for keeping score. It was quite a novelty for Coton to have a neat, accurate book with colour coding for the bowlers. She didn’t seem too put off by the standard of cricket on offer.
THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT CRICKETER
(An Ancient Cricketer goeth in to bat.)
It is an Ancient Cricketer
And he stoppeth one of three.
The others whistle past his ear
Or strike him on the knee.
The pavilion gate is open wide
And he is last man in.
With creaking joints he walketh forth,
Thirty to make to win.
(He sendeth a catch to first slip, who droppeth it.)
His bat is in his skinny hand,
There are three slips thinks he.
He snicks a ball up to the first,
Eftsoons the catch drops he.
(His opponents beat their bosoms.)
A chance! A chance! Another chance!
The Cricketer giveth three.
The fielding captain beats his breast
And curseth him roundly.
The field was there, the field was here,
So thick upon the ground;
They crouched and growled, appealed and howled
The Cricketer's bat around.
Fielders, fielders, everywhere,
About his bat did creep.
Fielders, fielders everywhere,
Nor anyone in the deep.
(The Cricketer doth fear he hath an hole in his bat.)
God save thee, Ancient Cricketer!
Have mercy on thy soul!
Like many men before thee gone,
Thy bat must have an hole.
Yet still the Cricketer batteth on,
A full half-hour bats he.
He doth not score a
single run
Though he trieth mightily.
(Although he scoreth no runs, the Cricketer helpeth his side to win.)
'Tis done! 'Tis done! The game is won
And well and truly fought,
The Cricketer limpeth happily in
Although his score was nought.
He batteth best, who scoreth most,
And hath but little luck.
Yet though the Cricketer made no runs
It was a noble duck.
Posts
