Bali-Hi (& Bali-low)

Every year, in early May (or late April), thousands of people up and down the country look forward to their first cricket game of the year, whilst thousands of wives and girlfriends look forward to days of unencumbered shopping. Months of dedicated training in the winter nets will be put to the test. All those resolutions (“I will not throw my bat at the first ball”, “I won’t bowl leg side wides”, etc) will be mulled over and rejected at the first possible opportunity.

A quick search of the kit bag will reveal that the whites were forgotten at the end of the last season and now support new life forms hitherto unknown to science. Or perhaps you had forgotten that you needed a new shirt/trousers/whatever for the new season. A quick trip to Sports Direct will be required.

You will stay off the beer on Friday night and get a good night’s sleep to be fit and ready (yeah right).

And then, true to form, having just come through the driest April since records began you awake on Saturday morning to the sound of raindrops hitting the window ledge and curse the fact that you didn’t shut the window the previous night.

This was the prospect of Coton CC 2011 as they prepared for the game against Barley. Gabriel had made a start on the pitch preparations and slowly others rolled up to help. A pitch was lovingly (if slightly crookedly) cut, rolled – with our shiny new roller – and marked. The ropes that cordoned off the training areas that had encroached into the outfield were carefully removed and a boundary measured and marked.

Dave Simmons arrived with the teas and the rest of team having waited around the corner until the pitch prep was complete made an appearance. There was a mix of old (and very old) faces and debuts for Milan Mniszko and Adam Bradbury who at 13 had just become of age to play for the seniors. It was a very sobering thought for the older members of the team that there was more than 40 years separating them from the debutants. Even with all that experience the latter were still smart enough to let the former do the pitch work though.

Such are the joys of village cricket, long may they endure.

King George had abdicated at the end of the previous season (some lame excuse about marriage and moving) so Saturday May 7^th saw the start of the reign of King Ross (the 1^st of his name). There was no coronation ceremony, not even a haka, before Ross strolled out to the middle. Following the time honoured tradition of Coton captains he lost the toss and we were given first opportunity to bat.

Meanwhile in the dressing room there was much discussion about where Barley was located. Down south was proffered and for a short time I was picturing a tropical Indonesian island with exotic maidens. No such luck.

Gabriel and Ross donned the pads, Rob and Andy donned the coats and after a short panic we located the match ball, bails and counters. And the 2011 season was underway with a play and a miss from Gabriel.

It was soon evident that in true Coton tradition the pitch was low and slow. Gabriel prodded and poked, and Ross hit one cracking boundary before being undone by one that stopped on him resulting in a lob back to the bowler.

Alastair had one pure comedy moment – stretching forward, he managed to slip, fall & crawl back into the crease to avoid being stumped: perhaps it was the wicket keepers union at work, the Barley keeper being so slow to take the bails. He was then removed by a ball that lifted, cut and clipped the off bail. This brought the first of our tyros to the wicket. Milan played some glorious shots which even had the opposition purring in approval. He was to perish in the same manner as Ross, who had early been lecturing in the perils of Coton wickets: obviously a case of “do as I do, not do as I say”. I should point out that the bowler was called “Chuck”: an appropriate name if I ever heard one! He bowled 10 overs and took 2 for 7. Very tidy indeed.

This was in the 9^th over and Gabriel had just got in the mark. I was going to make a comment about his snail’s pace batting but do not want be accused of snailism.

Dave and Gabriel then engaged in the biggest partnership of the day, both hitting some fine shots and the score progressed past 50 just before the 20^th over mark when Gabriel became the 2^nd victim for a very animated Jimmy Ghani whose appeals ranged from promising through optimistic to downright ludicrous.

Adam Bradbury showed great composure on his debut despite watching Dave Simmons (top score, 20) and Andy East depart to successive deliveries. Andy’s patented shuffle back and across didn’t fool the umpire at all and he was plumb LBW, Dave went to a good catch off a well struck shot.

There then followed the most controversial moment of the match. A ball evaded the Barley keeper and scuttled away for byes. The fielder at fine leg slid and stopped the ball but was patently over the boundary in doing so. The batsmen were coming back for a 2^nd when he pinged the ball in and Matt Chandler was caught short of his ground. The fielder appeared to be signalling a boundary but Matt was given out. After some discussion he departed but Ross intervened with the Barley captain and the umpires resulting in Matt being recalled.

Gordon also bagged an LBW and Matt went for real a few overs later. Scotch and Rob then put on 14 for the last wicket taking the innings into the 40^th over before Scotch was unluckily stumped by a ball that rebounded off the keeper.

Teas, courtesy of Mr Simmons, were gratefully consumed despite Scotch’s moaning about a lack of pickle/mustard/condiment in the sandwiches. The French Fancies were very good.

And then we bowled and fielded. Barley got off to a slow start against accurate bowling of contrasting styles from Matt and Milan. Neither could make the breakthrough despite many close calls so Ross rang the changes bringing himself on along with Rob. After a couple of tight overs Rob bowled a few loose deliveries and got the hook to be replaced by Scotch and there followed 20 overs of very tight bowling as Barley fell behind the required scoring rate.

This was punctuated with a steady drip of wickets. Ross snagged one opener with the third caught and bowled of the match having hesitaited just long enough to need a dive to make the catch look spectacular. Dave bowled the other opener and Ross got a 2^nd wicket with a good catch from Alastair.

At this stage it was anyone’s game with the required run rate going up and some tight bowling and fielding keeping Barley under pressure.

Milan came back for a 2^nd spell after Ross’s spell of 2-19 in 10 overs came to an end. The former had been unlucky not to get a wicket in his first spell but he didn’t have to wait too long second time around. A sharp catch by Dave Simmons at backward square removed the dangerous – and enthusiastic – Ghani. Milan took a second with an LBW coming round the wicket to a left hander, the ball straightening enough to trap him in front.

That was the last wicket to fall and Barley now staggered across the line with 10 balls to spare to end a close match in the best weather of the day.

And so the 2011 season starts with a defeat. On the plus side we had highly promising debuts from Milan and Adam, solid batting from Dave Simmons and Gabriel and good tight bowling from Scotch and Ross. Next week it’s Girton. Two years ago we beat them twice without losing a wicket. Let’s hope for something along those lines this time.