Captain’s blog, star date 20120505

Cricket... The ultimate team sport. These are the voyages of the cricket club Coton. It's one year mission, to get promoted out of junior five.  To seek out new pubs in strange remote villages.  To find previously undiscovered ways of losing matches.  To baldly go where no team has gone before.

And so, our 2012 cricket trek begins.  Since we have arrived in the watery world known as the 2012 Season the rain has been unrelenting, so much so that the rabbits on Coton Rec have been eaten by alligators.  It was something of a surprise that when I spoke to the Whittlesford captain earlier in the week he was positive the game would go ahead.  And so it did on a pitch that was soft and slow but remarkably good given the prevailing weather.  At one point during the match play was suspended while we looked up and wondered what the watery yellow object peaking through an area where the clouds were less thick could possibly be.  We hadn’t seen any previous evidence of a sun in this system.

The traditional landing party beamed down to Whittlesford.  The captain was joined by 1^st Officer Fox, Science Officer Simmons, officer Breward on loan from accounting, crewmen Scotcher, Allison, Chandler (M), Kodandaramiah and Ensigns Bradbury (A), Elmes and Black.  No one was wearing a red shirt.  Special commendation should be made of Ensigns Elmes and Black on their first away mission.  The both performed very creditably, showed excellent technique and understanding of protocols and reflect admirably on Training Officer Chandler (R) and this team.

I have to report that the captain failed in his first duty and lost the toss.  We were therefore compelled to bat first.  Rob looked around the dressing room to see if any of the crew were looking like volunteers to open the batting.  They weren’t: so the finger of doom pointed at Simmons and Bradbury.  

The pitch was slow and anything off line or short was duly dispatched by the opening pair.  It was evident from the off that accurate bowling would be difficult to get away and would be the order of the day.  This didn’t auger well for us when it was our turn later.

The two openers got up off to a fine start with a 50 partnership at about 4 an over.  Ensign Bradbury was a little unlucky to hit a good stroke uppishly and pick out the best fielder.  Officer Simmons soon followed.  Officer Breward – the club’s telepath – had tried to project a call silently but the atmospheric conditions interfered.  As did the pitch condition as Officer Simmons slipped and was run out.  

Crewman Allison was next into the firing line.  Along with Crewman Breward they scored over 70 for the 3^rd wicket taking us to 130-2 with around 8 overs left.   This precipitated a Coton collapse as we lost 7 wickets in that time searching for quick runs.  Patient play would yield benefits as our two big partnerships had illustrated, but chasing quick runs was not easy on this pitch.  155-9 was a good total, we thought, driven by 30s from officers Simmons, Breward and Allison.  Both junior Ensigns had looked good batting and were unfortunate to have a bigger impact.  Crewman Kodandaramaiah sacrificed his wicket and the innings finished with Captain Kaye and Crewman Scotcher auditioning for Strictly Come Dancing mid-wicket.  Whittlesford’s change bowlers had adapted to the conditions better and proved more of a handful than their openers.

During the tea interval we showed ample evidence that the standard of humour in the team had not improved with the new season.  Officer Fox had to resume his former role of Child Welfare Officer and lecture some crew members for their language.  Unfortunately it was one of the Ensigns that needed the admonishment.

We bowled.  Crewmen Kodandaramaiah and Chandler were much faster than the bowling on view in the first innings.  The bat was beaten several times but any bad deliveries dispatched.  It’s an old adage that it is harder to score when pace is taken off the ball and this was certainly proving to be the case here.  The canny, septuagenarian opener was picking off runs easily and it was time for change.

Captain Kaye juggled his bowlers (not literally, some of them are hard to lift) trying both himself and Crewman Scotcher.  Crewman Scotcher was strangely off form.  Perhaps he had the impending cup final on his mind and tried to finish the match quickly.  He eschewed the approach of bowling them out and opted for gifting runs.  Captain Kaye was little better.  It was now that Crewman Breward collapsed in pain with a knee injury.  We beamed him back to sick bay where for recuperation.  The early season stiffness and cold weather looked like claiming other victims as well.

Captain Kaye took over behind the stumps to the evident relief of the crew.  Not that they regard his as a better keeper, rather that he would stop bowling.  Cadet Bradbury (O) who had smuggled aboard tuck up fielding duties while Ensign Bradbury and Crewman Allison took up the bowling mantle.  Whittlesford had passed 100 with no wickets down.  It was looking easy for them but there was to be a final twist. 

First up was Ensign Bradbury.  He beat the opener with a spinning ball and the stand in keeper took a stumping.  I would like to say it was smart stumping, in truth the batsman had slipped and there was lots of time.

Next ball Ensign Bradbury rearranged the stumps but his hat trick ball was dealt with competently.

In the very next over Crewman Allison repeated the two wickets in two balls trick and in less than 2 overs 110-0 had become 111-4.  Whittlesford were now looking to the weather.  Two more wickets were prised out by crewman Allison, the second to fine running catch by Ensign Bradbury.

It wasn’t enough and Whittlesford limped across the line with 10 balls to spare and 4 wickets in hand.  A well played game which proved to be the only one that went ahead in Junior 5 over the weekend.

Commendations is dispatches are made for Crewman Allison (4 wickets, 30 runs, good fielding), Ensign Bradbury (good batting at the top of the order, 2 wickets, excellent fielding), Officer Simmons (34) and Crewman Breward (39, and injured in the line of duty).  Honourable mentions are made for Ensigns Elmes and Black for their debuts in trying conditions and indeed for all the team for their contributions big and small.

Next week it is back to the swamp world of Coton, weather permitting.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard