We Came, We Saw and We Got Beaten...

...quite badly, as it happens. On a hot afternoon in Stow-cum-Quy we took on Cherry Hinton II. Earlier in the season we had beaten them by 10 wickets at The Rec: could we repeat the feat? Cherry Hinton were confident before the match, cheerfully telling us about all their recent big scores so obviously they didn't think so. The wicket was set at the extreme edge of the square meaning that the boundary at one side was about 200 yards away while at the other the umpire had to peer around the trees at square leg to see the crease. There was a mad scramble by the bowlers to bowl at the end where the leg side boundary was the longest: George won.

The pace twins of Neil Sparnon and George Speller opened the bowling. So alike in looks and action the scorers didn't notice that George had changed ends after each of them had bowled three overs. The result was that Neil ended up bowling 8 overs and George 12 although both were credited with 10 in the book. Neil was slightly miffed by being short changed on the actual bowling and the fact George conceded around 30 runs on the two overs that ended up on Neil's analysis. George was less worried but somewhat more knackered.

Neil made the initial break through with a bouncer that was edged behind and Paul "tell Alastair we have a keeper" Bradbury dived forward to take a smart chance. That was the only breakthrough for a long while and the short boundary came into play. We spent several hour trampling the turnips searching for balls. Players returned to the field inches taller after the seaches due to the mud on their boots. It must cost Cherry Hinton a fortune in lost balls.

Dave Scotcher was most put out when standing at slip. The batsman turned to him and asked whether there was anyone standing behind him: definitely a sizest comment.

Rob Kaye replaced George who replaced Neil and then was himself replaced by Dave Scotcher. Dave was confused by the changes and tried to bowl when it was George who was being brought in: if we couldn't figure out who was who what chance did the scorers have? Cherry Hinton were moving along at 7 runs per over until their serene progress was interrupted by the combination of Rob and Andy East. The remaining opener prodded forward and after a brief search in Andy's midriff the ball was recovered and the catch given. I know: pot, kettle, black. A couple of overs later Rob struck again and at the stage the game was quite finely balanced.

It was then that Mr Ankur took over. By the time we got rid of him about 16 overs later he had hit 120 causing several more long searches and some fine steeplechasing by Neil. Eyes firmly fixed on a him straight shot he went back towards the hedge only noticing it presence as the ball disappeared for another 6. Into and over the hedge he went in slow motion. If anyone had had the foresight to bring a video camera we would have been quids in for "You've Been Framed".

Neil has since entered for the Cheltenham Gold Cup where he will be ridden by Gemelle Gracey-Davison (ooo err).

George changed ends again and amidst the carnage picked up two wickets. The first of these was a spectacular caught and bowled: the second time he has performed that particular feat this season. By this time the ball was flying everywhere. Billy Haynes had a brief spell and perfectly good balls dissapeared for 4 and 6. Captain Allison was watching the bowling in disbelief and decided to show us how it was done. His two overs went for 30. Rob came back for a 2nd try and took two wickets in two balls both caught at cover by Dave Hale who has stopped chuntering about the quality of the bowling long enough to pouch the catches.

But the last word went to Paul Norton. In his last game before heading back to New Zealand he was tossed the ball to end the innings. In his second over the Cherries skipper played all around a straight one and much to everyone's joy Paul got an LBW verdict. A wicket on his farewell performance. Another memory to take back to the Southern Hemisphere.

Cherry Hinton had amassed 321-8 in their 40 overs. Rob had 4 expensive wickets, George 2, Paul and Neil 1 apiece. Did I mention the whistling after every 4 or 6? No? Bloody annoying it was.

After tea, featuring cheese sandwiches with spicy potato, we started the reply in a very positive fashion. George and Dave rattled up 70 runs at about 9 an over. George in particular was sending the ball to all corners. We tried whistling but failed to make an impression so we resorted to animal noises much to the confusion of the Cherry Hinton team. At first it was coyotes but then a succession of barnyard animals came into play: boundaries were greated with sheep baa'ing, horses neighing and ducks quacking.

It all came to an end with the bowling changes. George was dismissed for a rapid - and elegant - 43 and out strode Mr Norton for his final bat.

Earlier on, with the Cherries one player short we had agreed to loan them our 12th man, Pete Brooks. Earlier on he had done a fine job in the turnip field he has done a fine job spotting balls flying and whilst at the same time scaring the crows. It was now that he had the presence of mid to not catch Norts before he had scored. They scampered a single and Paul now scored a run in his final game. In the next over he was unlucky to pick out a fielder on the short side for a catch: a yard either side would have been four.

The Cherries change bowlers worked through the batting and from 70-0 wicket we subsided to 111 all out. The farmyard chorus was silenced. Dave edged one behind and Neil dragged a wide onto his stumps (he did well to reach it). Richard launched one six across the Newmarket road before departing. Bradders hung around 14 overs for 2 runs (he did get the ball of the square once which brought a loud cheer from the square leg umpire).

Ankur, not content with his 120, then took a hat-trick. Gabriel Fox was first, LBW ("can you cheat next time and not give me out") then Andy East was Feng Shui'ed first ball. That was the end of the over but on the first ball of his next over Dave chased a wide ball and provided another catch behind. Billy avoided the 4 in 4 and batted calmly until the end of the innings. Paul was eventually removed and Rob had a quick swing to end the match before being bowled of his pads from one going well down leg side.

So that was that: well and truly beaten by 210 runs. But still, itwas a nice day, friendly opposition and we had some good laughs. In other results Fen Ditton beat March and Granta beat Waterbeach leaving us 6th. Next week it's March at home. A must win game? Maybe not but certainly a winnable one.

And finally, goodbye, Mr Norton, it's been a pleasure playing with you. Your contributions on and off the field will be missed. I hope you have some good memories of Coton to take back to New Zealand.