Another wet Saturday in Coton: it must be cricket season (I can just cut and paste this from previous reports).
After a little bit of panic on the Friday the weather did actually help out with a drying wind and Neil (with help from Billy, Scotch and Rob) was able to prepare a belter of a wicket. In a season where wins have been hard to come by the improvement in the Coton wicket has been a source of some satisfaction so thanks to everyone who put the time in: you know who you are!
With George missing, Rob became tosser-in-chief for the day. Scotch was back after ditching us for some roller coasters the previous weekend. One Haynes was replaced by the other, Rabboni was back after missing several games as was Rob McCorquodale and Dennis Finn made a 2nd appearance.
Someone will need to explain to me: how come Andy East has a spare pare of whites that fit Dennis? It must be said that Andy has a kit bag somewhat larger than the team’s kit bag so perhaps he has an assortment of sizes just in case?
There was a last minute panic when Courtney called off. Billy was quickly on the phone to Adam and with some subtle (and not too subtle) encouragement the latter agreed to play. Neil leaped into his car and dashed off to collect our XIth man, the latter changing into his whites in the car on the way back. Just what the police would have made of the scene if they had pulled Neil over whilst Adam was in mid-change we can only imagine. CWO Fox: have a word, please!
[We later found out that both Andy and I had the wrong mobile #s for Adam. So some very confused person has been getting messages if they were available on Saturday but for some strange reason never answered. This lead to much debate about services available on mobile phones, especially in Germany.]
The match progressed through its usual phases, the stand in tosser having won the toss and put Balsham in:
• Fielding & Bowling (including some raining)
• Eating
• Batting
• Cleaning
• Chuntering
With Neil still en route ferrying Adam we started with Billy and Rob. Billy was bowling some beautiful stuff interspersed with head high beamers at a batsman we later found out was legally blind. Rob carried on from where he had left off the previous week and bowled 5 economical overs without getting any luck. Billy struck first, helped out by a good running catch by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC. Neil had arrived back with Adam and a very relieved Simmons Junior was allowed to leave the playing area.
Ringing the bowling changes brought wickets. Dave “other big guy” Scotcher replaced Rob, and Neil took over from Billy. Neil proceeded in the Coton tradition of bowling body line short pitched deliveries at 4 year olds and vehemently disputing wides (in his defence, some of the so called wides were passing over the top of the stumps or brushing the batsman’s body). Dave continued his traditions of taking wickets, not conceding runs and diving in instalments.
I pause here to mention that Dave only came 4th in the slo-mo diving competition this week. There are honourable mentions for long-name Rob and Andy but the winner was short-name Rob who rather than taking two steps to the left to stop the ball, went to ground early, made a daisy chain and then had to shuffle forward as the ball may well not have reached him.
Dave bowled the first of the Balsham Juniors and then the other opener. On each occasion they could well have been LBW first but Dave wasn’t taking any chances (just as well, no LBWs were being given) and hit the stumps for good measure.
Neil produced two cracking yorkers to rearrange the stumps along with a sharp parry and catch from Gabriel at midwicket. Dave took two more wickets and Balsham were 76-8 and things were looking good. Scotch’s final figures 10 overs 5 maidens 10 runs 4 wickets – brilliant work.
76-8 became 156-8 and we did not feel any better that Balsham told us later that they had reversed the order to give the kids a chance as their season was more or less over since they were effectively relegated.
Dave Simmons made the teas and very fine they were to with plenty of cakes to give us our sugar boost. The teas were in fact almost as good as his wicket keeping, Dave having stepped into the breach left by a holidaying Alastair: our 2nd good stand in keeping performance in successive weeks.
And then we batted.
Gabriel and Dave got us off to now regulation slow and steady start but both perished in the 15th over looking to move the score along. Adam and Dennis took over (great fielding by the way, Dennis) and got us moving. Dennis was only able to connect with a couple of lusty blows before being bowled and was replaced by Rob “I’m not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC who produced his highest score for Coton.
Some classy looking shots from Adam propelled us forward (top score – 37, 5 fours) and kept us in the chase before he eventually succumbed to the 3rd change bowler. At 117-4 with around 8 overs left to get 40 runs we were looking good.
One over later it was 117-7. Billy Haynes had helped Rob “I’m still not typing his whole name again as its too long” McC put on 20 for the 5th wicket before becoming the first of 3 Coton players to succumb to Ford’s off cutters during the course of one over. Andy went first ball and although Rabboni survived the hat trick he didn’t last the over.
Tosser Rob joined “no way am I typing his whole name again as its too long” Rob but unfortunately the latter was to pick up a hamstring strain. Rabboni came on as a runner. The opposition were incredibly generous in letting us have someone young and quick run for someone who is, well, less young and somewhat slower.
The Two Robbies decided to see if they could get them in boundaries anyway before Rob 1 decided to end the confusion of the runner by getting himself out leg before (35, including 6 fours). There were around 20 to get off the last 2 overs.
Rob-2 smashed a 4 through square leg (literally, the fielder got several fingers to the ball on its way to the boundary). Dave Scotcher went through the steps that Chris Cooke had patiently taught him in nets and played a forward defensive that was immaculate in all respects other than hitting the ball and he (re) joined the primary club. Last man Neil came to the crease. A couple of quick singles, some wides and one unnecessary dive later we got to the last over needing 15 to win.
A single for Neil was followed by a maximum from Rob who having carefully noted that the fielder on the mid wicket boundary was only 3’6” smacked it 10 yards past him. Going for a repeat off the next ball Rob was then bowled with us 8 short of parity.
We’d given it a go but in the end not quite there, again.
We are still above Balsham and Weston Colville who both have two games left. We could still avoid relegation but even then there are rumours of reorganisations that may mean more than 2 teams get relegated. At the end of the day in a season with only 3 wins (none at home) in a season we can have no complaints about being relegated.
And so we headed down to the Plough for the eseential final part of any cricket match: the chuntering. Several hours later we had re-engineered events to the extent that we were unlucky not to have been promoted: missing players, retired players, missed catches, LBWs given or not given, teams fielding 1st team players, etc., etc. Yes, we were hard done by (not).
Play Cricket!
Drink Beer!
Talk Bollocks!
See you at the AGM.
One Fling to Rule Them All
Another wet Saturday in Coton: it must be cricket season. This was a day that our artificial pitch saved the match, the regular square being unplayable after all the recent rains. We welcomed NCI IVths to the Recreation Ground for our penultimate game of the season.
Expecting a cancellation Scotch had chosen to remain in Windsor. Rob had been intercepted en route to Millwall which turned out to be a blessing in disguise and there was a last minute scramble to get a full team. Mitchell was drafted in to make up the XI and Sam took up the gloves in the continued absence of Alastair.
Tosser-in-chief George was unable to fool the NCI skipper who duly inserted us to bat under threatening skies. Gabriel and Dave Simmons opened and put on 43 (our largest opening stand of the year) playing through a shower against bowlers that had difficulty with their footing. One in particular did a 10 yard slide along the wicket to prove a point. It took a change of bowling to disrupt the serene process Dave had been having problems penetrating the field (ooh, er) and finally smashed a loose ball straight at someone who could catch. This brought George to the wicket.
Meanwhile, several members of the team scrambled around to get a tea organised, Dave having been confounded by the on/off will/wont we play nature of the morning. A last minute dash to the garden centre produced rolls, cheese and ham to accompany the left over cakes from the previous week.
George promptly smashed a couple of fours before mistiming a sweep and lobbing a catch over his shoulder to the wicket keeper. Next ball, Richard was a victim to the same combination. Perhaps he was distracted by the swallows flitting around the sky? Whatever, he feathered a sharply turning ball into the keepers gloves and we were suddenly three down.
Adam came in and along with Gabriel (yes, he’s still there) propelled us along towards the hundred before becoming the first of 3 wickets to fall on 97. The second of these was the unluckiest. The players having crossed on the fall of the wicket, Jack was at the non-striker’s end. Gabriel played the ball square on the leg side, the batsmen set off for a quick single only to be undone by a sharp throw and direct hit. 99 times out of 100 that would have been a safe run but Jack was run out without facing (does that make him eligible for the pre-primary club?).
Sam & Andy also perished without scoring and it was left to Mitchell and Gabriel to see out the innings. Gabriel ran himself out off the last ball going for a suicidal 2nd run but his job of holding the innings together had been executed to perfection: 37 runs off 125 balls had been done. It was a shame that the batsmen at the other didn’t – for the most part – respond and as so often happens in Coton games Mr Extras was the 2nd top scorer. 116-8 seemed about 20-30 runes short and so it was to prove.
By the time we fielded the weather had improved. One the plus side it meant that the bowlers weren’t doing a triple lutz on each delivery but on the minus the outfield was faster. Fast and slow was the order of the day with Neil from the Footpath end and Rob from the top end. In Rob’s first over the opening batsman was undone by a ball that moved a long way to clip off stump whilst aiming over mid wicket. Neil had a couple of straight LBW decisions denied and the NCI skipper put the ball through George’s hands at point before he had scored. Another breakthrough would have been deserved at this juncture but it wasn’t to be.
The NCI skipper and wicket keeper accumulated steadily from an array of bowlers: Adam, Jack, George and Dave all tried without luck whilst Rob took on the Scotcher mantle. That doesn’t mean the oldest, slowest bowler on the team (but he was that as well) but the most economical: 7 overs, 8 runs, 1 wicket. He had found a line and length that made scoring very difficult.
We finally got the breakthough when a returning Neil castled the second opener. NCI only needed 20 to win at this point. The wicket brought their number four to the crease, and resulted in one of the season’s champagne moments. Richard had now entered the attack. After two steady overs he started the next with a high full toss no ball that the NCI skipper smacked to square leg. In a quick piece of thinking, Jack declined to catch the ball realising it would have not been out. By this time the NCI batsman had joined his captain at the striker’s end only to be informed that he needed to return to whence he had came. Jack propelled the ball to Richard who removed the bails and we had a run out. As we gathered to congratulate Jack and Richard the NCI batsman recovered his bat. You could sense that an explosion was imminent and sure enough half way back to the pavilion Mr Throwdo let fly with a string of expletives and a bat which arced through the air with a flight longer than one of Gabriel’s biggest hits.
Unnerved by this, Richard served up an over of wides, full tosses and no balls that yielded the 20 runs needed to win. Game over. NCI had won with 8 overs to spare and only 3 wickets down. By now the weather was positively balmy and we retired with the pub with (some of) the NCI team to do our best grumpy old men impersonations in the sunshine. One more game to go against bottom of the league Balsham: they have dodged us once, lets hope they don’t do it again!
A final note: thanks to Jenny for keeping score. It was quite a novelty for Coton to have a neat, accurate book with colour coding for the bowlers. She didn’t seem too put off by the standard of cricket on offer.
Expecting a cancellation Scotch had chosen to remain in Windsor. Rob had been intercepted en route to Millwall which turned out to be a blessing in disguise and there was a last minute scramble to get a full team. Mitchell was drafted in to make up the XI and Sam took up the gloves in the continued absence of Alastair.
Tosser-in-chief George was unable to fool the NCI skipper who duly inserted us to bat under threatening skies. Gabriel and Dave Simmons opened and put on 43 (our largest opening stand of the year) playing through a shower against bowlers that had difficulty with their footing. One in particular did a 10 yard slide along the wicket to prove a point. It took a change of bowling to disrupt the serene process Dave had been having problems penetrating the field (ooh, er) and finally smashed a loose ball straight at someone who could catch. This brought George to the wicket.
Meanwhile, several members of the team scrambled around to get a tea organised, Dave having been confounded by the on/off will/wont we play nature of the morning. A last minute dash to the garden centre produced rolls, cheese and ham to accompany the left over cakes from the previous week.
George promptly smashed a couple of fours before mistiming a sweep and lobbing a catch over his shoulder to the wicket keeper. Next ball, Richard was a victim to the same combination. Perhaps he was distracted by the swallows flitting around the sky? Whatever, he feathered a sharply turning ball into the keepers gloves and we were suddenly three down.
Adam came in and along with Gabriel (yes, he’s still there) propelled us along towards the hundred before becoming the first of 3 wickets to fall on 97. The second of these was the unluckiest. The players having crossed on the fall of the wicket, Jack was at the non-striker’s end. Gabriel played the ball square on the leg side, the batsmen set off for a quick single only to be undone by a sharp throw and direct hit. 99 times out of 100 that would have been a safe run but Jack was run out without facing (does that make him eligible for the pre-primary club?).
Sam & Andy also perished without scoring and it was left to Mitchell and Gabriel to see out the innings. Gabriel ran himself out off the last ball going for a suicidal 2nd run but his job of holding the innings together had been executed to perfection: 37 runs off 125 balls had been done. It was a shame that the batsmen at the other didn’t – for the most part – respond and as so often happens in Coton games Mr Extras was the 2nd top scorer. 116-8 seemed about 20-30 runes short and so it was to prove.
By the time we fielded the weather had improved. One the plus side it meant that the bowlers weren’t doing a triple lutz on each delivery but on the minus the outfield was faster. Fast and slow was the order of the day with Neil from the Footpath end and Rob from the top end. In Rob’s first over the opening batsman was undone by a ball that moved a long way to clip off stump whilst aiming over mid wicket. Neil had a couple of straight LBW decisions denied and the NCI skipper put the ball through George’s hands at point before he had scored. Another breakthrough would have been deserved at this juncture but it wasn’t to be.
The NCI skipper and wicket keeper accumulated steadily from an array of bowlers: Adam, Jack, George and Dave all tried without luck whilst Rob took on the Scotcher mantle. That doesn’t mean the oldest, slowest bowler on the team (but he was that as well) but the most economical: 7 overs, 8 runs, 1 wicket. He had found a line and length that made scoring very difficult.
We finally got the breakthough when a returning Neil castled the second opener. NCI only needed 20 to win at this point. The wicket brought their number four to the crease, and resulted in one of the season’s champagne moments. Richard had now entered the attack. After two steady overs he started the next with a high full toss no ball that the NCI skipper smacked to square leg. In a quick piece of thinking, Jack declined to catch the ball realising it would have not been out. By this time the NCI batsman had joined his captain at the striker’s end only to be informed that he needed to return to whence he had came. Jack propelled the ball to Richard who removed the bails and we had a run out. As we gathered to congratulate Jack and Richard the NCI batsman recovered his bat. You could sense that an explosion was imminent and sure enough half way back to the pavilion Mr Throwdo let fly with a string of expletives and a bat which arced through the air with a flight longer than one of Gabriel’s biggest hits.
Unnerved by this, Richard served up an over of wides, full tosses and no balls that yielded the 20 runs needed to win. Game over. NCI had won with 8 overs to spare and only 3 wickets down. By now the weather was positively balmy and we retired with the pub with (some of) the NCI team to do our best grumpy old men impersonations in the sunshine. One more game to go against bottom of the league Balsham: they have dodged us once, lets hope they don’t do it again!
A final note: thanks to Jenny for keeping score. It was quite a novelty for Coton to have a neat, accurate book with colour coding for the bowlers. She didn’t seem too put off by the standard of cricket on offer.
THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT CRICKETER
As there was no action to report last weekend, how about a poem from Michael Green who wrote a book called The Art of Coarse Cricket some years ago?
(An Ancient Cricketer goeth in to bat.)
It is an Ancient Cricketer
And he stoppeth one of three.
The others whistle past his ear
Or strike him on the knee.
The pavilion gate is open wide
And he is last man in.
With creaking joints he walketh forth,
Thirty to make to win.
(He sendeth a catch to first slip, who droppeth it.)
His bat is in his skinny hand,
There are three slips thinks he.
He snicks a ball up to the first,
Eftsoons the catch drops he.
(His opponents beat their bosoms.)
A chance! A chance! Another chance!
The Cricketer giveth three.
The fielding captain beats his breast
And curseth him roundly.
The field was there, the field was here,
So thick upon the ground;
They crouched and growled, appealed and howled
The Cricketer's bat around.
Fielders, fielders, everywhere,
About his bat did creep.
Fielders, fielders everywhere,
Nor anyone in the deep.
(The Cricketer doth fear he hath an hole in his bat.)
God save thee, Ancient Cricketer!
Have mercy on thy soul!
Like many men before thee gone,
Thy bat must have an hole.
Yet still the Cricketer batteth on,
A full half-hour bats he.
He doth not score a
single run
Though he trieth mightily.
(Although he scoreth no runs, the Cricketer helpeth his side to win.)
'Tis done! 'Tis done! The game is won
And well and truly fought,
The Cricketer limpeth happily in
Although his score was nought.
He batteth best, who scoreth most,
And hath but little luck.
Yet though the Cricketer made no runs
It was a noble duck.
(An Ancient Cricketer goeth in to bat.)
It is an Ancient Cricketer
And he stoppeth one of three.
The others whistle past his ear
Or strike him on the knee.
The pavilion gate is open wide
And he is last man in.
With creaking joints he walketh forth,
Thirty to make to win.
(He sendeth a catch to first slip, who droppeth it.)
His bat is in his skinny hand,
There are three slips thinks he.
He snicks a ball up to the first,
Eftsoons the catch drops he.
(His opponents beat their bosoms.)
A chance! A chance! Another chance!
The Cricketer giveth three.
The fielding captain beats his breast
And curseth him roundly.
The field was there, the field was here,
So thick upon the ground;
They crouched and growled, appealed and howled
The Cricketer's bat around.
Fielders, fielders, everywhere,
About his bat did creep.
Fielders, fielders everywhere,
Nor anyone in the deep.
(The Cricketer doth fear he hath an hole in his bat.)
God save thee, Ancient Cricketer!
Have mercy on thy soul!
Like many men before thee gone,
Thy bat must have an hole.
Yet still the Cricketer batteth on,
A full half-hour bats he.
He doth not score a
single run
Though he trieth mightily.
(Although he scoreth no runs, the Cricketer helpeth his side to win.)
'Tis done! 'Tis done! The game is won
And well and truly fought,
The Cricketer limpeth happily in
Although his score was nought.
He batteth best, who scoreth most,
And hath but little luck.
Yet though the Cricketer made no runs
It was a noble duck.
Fen Ditton do the double
Let’s start on a positive note. The weather was great. It was downhill after that I’m afraid to say. Well, actually it wasn’t all bad. There were some excellent performances. Unfortunately 2 of the best were from 2 Fen Ditton batsmen.
Fen Ditton turned up with what they described as a “bowling line-up”. Hmm. If only we’d got to see more of their batting line-up we might be able to comment further on this.
We batted first and Gabriel opened with Dave. After a few overs it didn’t look like the bowling would be very threatening. Dave got his head down to have a look at the bowling and reached 1 when he got his head down again and charged down the other end for a quick leg bye. Gabriel hadn’t heard a call of “yes” and stayed there whilst awaiting the result of a very optimistic lbw appeal. Ross played a very fine shot but straight at the cover point fielder who gratefully took the catch. Meanwhile Gabriel was doing what he has been doing most of the season by holding the top order together and putting away bad balls until he missed a straight to be LBW to their spinner.
Richard looked like he was going to continue his good recent run of form but then gave their irritatingly accurate spinner a return catch for 10. At the half way stage we were 52-4 and needed a George special, which he, along with a considerable amount of help from the middle order, provided. Adam played sensibly for his 13 and then Jack came in, had a look, then carted the bowling to cow corner very effectively, albeit briefly for his 16. Not wishing to devalue George’s innings, then came the most entertaining one from Andy. Andy’s first 6 scoring strokes were all hit for four. We were wondering why he didn’t try harder to give George the strike, so he showed us. His last 4 scoring strokes were all singles taking him to 28 in the penultimate over. It was around then that disaster struck when George dived to make his ground taking a quick 2. Pulling a muscle in an area which made volunteers to rub it better somewhat thin on the ground (it was either the dive or the applauding of Andy’s innings which caused the injury) George did enough damage to prevent him from either running or bowling.
This was probably the decisive point of the match. We would have been better off George being run out for 4 less and having him available to bowl, not that George’s batting average agrees with this. Neil had a legitimate heave and got himself bowled in the same over. That left George and Scotch to hobble a few off the last over with George being 73 not out at the end with a total of 177 for 8. That made the last 20 overs worth 125. Is the batting order upside down?
Tea was prepared, delivered and cling filmed by Gabriel. The sandwiches were very neatly arranged in straight rows with a very even distribution of fillings making choosing the ones with the most tuna quite tricky or pointless depending on your point of view. The many weeks of rolling and mowing the pitch have clearly contributed some useful, neat sandwich making skills.
Adam found himself in the unusual position of wicket-keeper in Alastair’s absence and he made a good job of it too with the occasional wide ball and a few keeping low. Ross opened and was quickly into an accurate spell where Fen Ditton found it difficult to score. Neil bowled some excellent deliveries, but probably suffered from having to bowl in tandem with the accurate Ross, so their skipper/keeper who batted at number 6 in the away game had a go at Neil and put away a few boundaries. Ross bowled through his 10 overs and got their skipper out lbw eventually, but not before he had made a handy 19. As far as success went that was it for us. Richard and Scotch bowled 9 overs for 51 and 7 overs for 34 respectively. The Fen Ditton batsmen found enough singles and the occasional boundary so that the pressure was never really on. Adam took the pads off and handed them to George who managed to creak into a kneeling position long enough to put them on and take over behind the stumps so that Adam could bowl in tandem with Jack until Fen Ditton reached their target.
Being a bit slower than Fen Ditton at getting a match report done (and scoring runs and taking wickets, as it turns out) I can now reveal from their match report that the 68 not out by their opener, James, is his first score in double figures for Fen Ditton and the 62 not out by H is his first 50. Oh dear. We would rather they got their records against someone else in future please. Not this year though – please lose your last 6 matches, Fen Ditton.
From our relative positions in the league and on paper we should probably have done better in this fixture. The high points were the batting of Andy, Jack, Adam and George (although he must work on his diving without pulling muscles) and the bowling of Ross and the first attempt behind the stumps for Adam. Another high point is the praise of our pitch from the opposition. And so on to Balsham…..
Fen Ditton turned up with what they described as a “bowling line-up”. Hmm. If only we’d got to see more of their batting line-up we might be able to comment further on this.
We batted first and Gabriel opened with Dave. After a few overs it didn’t look like the bowling would be very threatening. Dave got his head down to have a look at the bowling and reached 1 when he got his head down again and charged down the other end for a quick leg bye. Gabriel hadn’t heard a call of “yes” and stayed there whilst awaiting the result of a very optimistic lbw appeal. Ross played a very fine shot but straight at the cover point fielder who gratefully took the catch. Meanwhile Gabriel was doing what he has been doing most of the season by holding the top order together and putting away bad balls until he missed a straight to be LBW to their spinner.
Richard looked like he was going to continue his good recent run of form but then gave their irritatingly accurate spinner a return catch for 10. At the half way stage we were 52-4 and needed a George special, which he, along with a considerable amount of help from the middle order, provided. Adam played sensibly for his 13 and then Jack came in, had a look, then carted the bowling to cow corner very effectively, albeit briefly for his 16. Not wishing to devalue George’s innings, then came the most entertaining one from Andy. Andy’s first 6 scoring strokes were all hit for four. We were wondering why he didn’t try harder to give George the strike, so he showed us. His last 4 scoring strokes were all singles taking him to 28 in the penultimate over. It was around then that disaster struck when George dived to make his ground taking a quick 2. Pulling a muscle in an area which made volunteers to rub it better somewhat thin on the ground (it was either the dive or the applauding of Andy’s innings which caused the injury) George did enough damage to prevent him from either running or bowling.
This was probably the decisive point of the match. We would have been better off George being run out for 4 less and having him available to bowl, not that George’s batting average agrees with this. Neil had a legitimate heave and got himself bowled in the same over. That left George and Scotch to hobble a few off the last over with George being 73 not out at the end with a total of 177 for 8. That made the last 20 overs worth 125. Is the batting order upside down?
Tea was prepared, delivered and cling filmed by Gabriel. The sandwiches were very neatly arranged in straight rows with a very even distribution of fillings making choosing the ones with the most tuna quite tricky or pointless depending on your point of view. The many weeks of rolling and mowing the pitch have clearly contributed some useful, neat sandwich making skills.
Adam found himself in the unusual position of wicket-keeper in Alastair’s absence and he made a good job of it too with the occasional wide ball and a few keeping low. Ross opened and was quickly into an accurate spell where Fen Ditton found it difficult to score. Neil bowled some excellent deliveries, but probably suffered from having to bowl in tandem with the accurate Ross, so their skipper/keeper who batted at number 6 in the away game had a go at Neil and put away a few boundaries. Ross bowled through his 10 overs and got their skipper out lbw eventually, but not before he had made a handy 19. As far as success went that was it for us. Richard and Scotch bowled 9 overs for 51 and 7 overs for 34 respectively. The Fen Ditton batsmen found enough singles and the occasional boundary so that the pressure was never really on. Adam took the pads off and handed them to George who managed to creak into a kneeling position long enough to put them on and take over behind the stumps so that Adam could bowl in tandem with Jack until Fen Ditton reached their target.
Being a bit slower than Fen Ditton at getting a match report done (and scoring runs and taking wickets, as it turns out) I can now reveal from their match report that the 68 not out by their opener, James, is his first score in double figures for Fen Ditton and the 62 not out by H is his first 50. Oh dear. We would rather they got their records against someone else in future please. Not this year though – please lose your last 6 matches, Fen Ditton.
From our relative positions in the league and on paper we should probably have done better in this fixture. The high points were the batting of Andy, Jack, Adam and George (although he must work on his diving without pulling muscles) and the bowling of Ross and the first attempt behind the stumps for Adam. Another high point is the praise of our pitch from the opposition. And so on to Balsham…..
Weston Ho!
Just a few brief notes on the Weston Colville game during my temporary exile. We were just completing the work on the wicket when the Westons arrived at Coton Rec. In the light of the result perhaps we should be doing less! The weather was not looking too promising and, judging by the reactions of the Weston players neither was the wicket. How wrong they were. I figured that they had talked themselves into a collapse so putting them in was the right thing to do. We had after all dismissed them cheaply on their wicket and there was an air of optimism in the dressing room.
It was a very different looking Weston squad than we had seen the first time around and this led to some conjecture that they had loaded their team with 1st XI players. Subsequent research showed they hadn’t but that didn’t make it feel any better.
As we prepared to start the heavens opened and delayed the start. I have seen in other match reports that we have had some sunny days at the Rec but I haven’t played in any of them yet. This was to prove the only weather delay and it gradually got better through the day.
Neil opened the bowling with new recruit Courtney Henville and struck in his first over when the opener pulled the ball straight to Mitch Haynes at square leg. So far everything was looking good. Courtney bowled some killer deliveries mixed with some nervous beamers and wides. Neil – talking a break from his cross country hike – pounded in. Further breakthroughs were not forthcoming as Rob juggled the bowling in search of wickets.
Rob, Scotch, Adam & Richard all tried their luck and we did end up taking 5 more wickets while Weston piled on runs at almost 7 an over. Richard took 3, assisted by an Alastair stumping and good catches from Mitch and Sam. Sam was having an infuriating time in the field as the ball passed him in the air just out of catching ranges on multiple occasions. I thought of placing fielders one yard either side of him as the ball would have been straight to them every time.
Scotch grabbed two wickets: catches from Adam and Rad. Meanwhile Weston’s opening bat completed a not out century: just 100 more than he had scored in the first game and that was probably the key difference in them reaching 269-6.
After some fine teas courtesy of Adam we followed up with our worst batting since the opening day of the season.
Alastair was first to chipping a simple catch and then Richard attempted a suicide run to a ball that was in the wicket keeper’s hands.
Thereafter it was a procession of wickets. Sam went to a wild swing and Gabriel to another simple catch before Adam and Neil effected something of a recovery. Mitch smashed a loose ball straight at cover and it was left to Courtney to secure a second batting point with a top score 22 in 11 balls. We ended up 170 short for our worst defeat of the year.
The other results combined to leave us 6th, clear of the relegation spots. With 3 of our remaining games being against the teams below us it is going to be a tight ending to the season again.
It was a very different looking Weston squad than we had seen the first time around and this led to some conjecture that they had loaded their team with 1st XI players. Subsequent research showed they hadn’t but that didn’t make it feel any better.
As we prepared to start the heavens opened and delayed the start. I have seen in other match reports that we have had some sunny days at the Rec but I haven’t played in any of them yet. This was to prove the only weather delay and it gradually got better through the day.
Neil opened the bowling with new recruit Courtney Henville and struck in his first over when the opener pulled the ball straight to Mitch Haynes at square leg. So far everything was looking good. Courtney bowled some killer deliveries mixed with some nervous beamers and wides. Neil – talking a break from his cross country hike – pounded in. Further breakthroughs were not forthcoming as Rob juggled the bowling in search of wickets.
Rob, Scotch, Adam & Richard all tried their luck and we did end up taking 5 more wickets while Weston piled on runs at almost 7 an over. Richard took 3, assisted by an Alastair stumping and good catches from Mitch and Sam. Sam was having an infuriating time in the field as the ball passed him in the air just out of catching ranges on multiple occasions. I thought of placing fielders one yard either side of him as the ball would have been straight to them every time.
Scotch grabbed two wickets: catches from Adam and Rad. Meanwhile Weston’s opening bat completed a not out century: just 100 more than he had scored in the first game and that was probably the key difference in them reaching 269-6.
After some fine teas courtesy of Adam we followed up with our worst batting since the opening day of the season.
Alastair was first to chipping a simple catch and then Richard attempted a suicide run to a ball that was in the wicket keeper’s hands.
Thereafter it was a procession of wickets. Sam went to a wild swing and Gabriel to another simple catch before Adam and Neil effected something of a recovery. Mitch smashed a loose ball straight at cover and it was left to Courtney to secure a second batting point with a top score 22 in 11 balls. We ended up 170 short for our worst defeat of the year.
The other results combined to leave us 6th, clear of the relegation spots. With 3 of our remaining games being against the teams below us it is going to be a tight ending to the season again.
Runs in the Sun by our Junior Match Reporter
At last – a sunny day for a Coton home match. In an odd season for the fixture list where we are over half way through the season and have only just played our 3rd home game we have finally found that the sun can shine on the Coton rec on a Saturday. There were 5 changes from last week’s line up, with the most significant one being Rob not playing. That might not seem the most significant to all of you but for me it is, as I have been asked to take on the role of match report writer.
This is not the first time I have been asked to do this so I do have some experience to fall back on. I lost my match report virginity many years ago when asked by a previous club with a rotation policy of authors to write the report. I replied “but I haven’t done it before and I have no idea how to.” I was concerned. The reply I received was “just write a load of b****cks, that’s what everyone else does.” I thought – maybe I can do this after all.
We welcomed the fine folk of Romsey Town to Coton. After the away game at Trinity Old Field earlier in the season we were hoping that the strip would not be too embarrassing compared with their snooker table pitch, and indeed outfield. There wasn’t much we could have done about the outfield but the strip was in fine fettle which is testament to the hard work put in by the tireless pitch preparers. It played very well indeed. To the tune of over 400 runs.
Romsey batted first and we knew we needed a breakthrough early as the Romsey openers have racked up some seriously big partnerships this season. George opened the bowling from the far end (which I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that in the intervening overs he would be fielding at fine leg under the trees in the only bit of shade on the hottest day of the year) with Neil taking the footpath end (so he would be fielding at fine leg a good length delivery away from his own sofa when George was bowling). After a slightly expensive opening 4 overs George produced one of his nasty slower balls that turned in to a full toss. Under normal circumstances we would all love to receive knee high full tosses. But when you are expecting fast-medium inswinging leg cutters pitched 2 inches outside off just short of a good length some adjustments are necessary. Well, he got a bit of bat on it which was just enough to edge it down on to his stumps. 24-1. For the next few over runs were very hard to come by as George and Neil were accurate and most shots that were played went to fielders. Then there was a magnificent piece of dummying in the deep from Scotch. A very comfortable two was turned in a risky 3 when Scotch deliberately threw the ball 2 feet behind him lulling the batsmen into a false sense of security for a third. He clearly planned this all along as there would be no other way that he could have picked the ball up so quickly and winged it in to the keeper to remove the bails with the number 3 so far short of his ground. 39-2. Then followed a healthy partnership where the number 4, who couldn’t get the ball off the square in the away game, got the ball off the square several times. Poor Scotch suffered at his hands but was hampered by an injury. We’re not sure whether this was sustained during his Jonty Rhodes impression. Before we started there were murmurs that Nick Clarke will give us early chances and we must take them or we’ll be in trouble. He didn’t, we therefore couldn’t and we were. The most likely way to get him out looked to be waiting for him to get too tired to bat. That happened at around the end of the 40th over. He faced the last ball of the innings and took a single whilst his team mates hovering over the scorebook were shouting “RUN!” I don’t think he could have. He ended up 99 not out.
Adam bowled well getting a lot of movement but no luck and Rob McCorquodale also bowled well and took a very good caught and bowled. 93-3. Then followed a very tiring period in the field due to the heat and lack of wickets. They didn’t give many chances. When George came back from the Footpath end (he wasn’t really going to get away with hiding under trees any longer) we finally got an lbw decision going our way. Many previous ones looked not un-adjacent. 180-4. Romsey finished on 221 for 4.
Tea was courtesy of our captain which was a wonderful spread. A culinary discussion took place about whether a cheese sandwich needs Branston, but the greatest achievement was the serving of chocolate biscuits which had not melted.
Alastair and Gabriel opened the batting and the bowling looked to be fairly unthreatening. So it was quite a surprise when Gabriel played a forcing shot to short mid off to be out for 8. 33-1. What looked like the match winning partnership then took place. Alastair and Richard batted very well and at a good rate until the first ball after the 2nd drinks break. Yes, I did say second drinks break, which was due to the extreme heat (did I mention how hot it was?) Richard crawled towards the cup and jug carriers complaining about dehydration. After what happened the next ball we might have been better off if he’d remained dehydrated, but no complaints about such a fine 44 in a partnership of 93. 126-2. Dave then joined Alastair for a partnership of 44 whilst almost keeping up with the asking rate of 8 an over, but not quite. (Rob – do you also have that Michael Vaughan feeling when referring to yourself in the 3rd person?) By this time fielders were disappearing towards the boundary making 4’s hard to come by. Lots of sprinting of the first run to get a few 2’s got more runs than was sensible in that heat until Dave yorked himself trying to launch a full ball. 170-3. This brought George to the wicket with the chase well set up for a George special. He sensibly played himself in whilst taking 1s and 2s before the big shots came out. During one of the quick runs Alastair finally succumbed to the heat and failed to make it being run out for a heroic 75. 188-4.
Adam had quite a go at one delivery from the top end, It was very high and well taken by their sub fielder Richard, who only came along to watch his son play. Richard had been saying that he might contemplate joining us as he couldn’t get into the Romsey side. If he’d palmed it over the boundary for 6 we might have been more welcoming. On the other hand he can catch. Either side of this George lofted a 6 at each end. The second was off the first ball of the last over when 12 were needed to win. The cheers that went up when that cleared the rope (actually it cleared many of the trees by the Footpath too. Well, more of an “instead” than a “too”, as we don’t actually have a rope.). As it was so big and as we were umpiring we had hoped for it to be signalled as a 12 which would have been handy, but our ability to play within the spirit of the game often outweighs our ability. Desperate (and occasionally swift) running from George, Neil and Andy got us to 220 at the end of the over which included 2 run outs, and a loss by 1 run! #
The highlights were the bowling of George (2-39) and Neil (0-42) who both bowled their full 10 overs at pace in extreme heat, an all-round batting performance with some very good running between the wickets to get 220 with Alastair, Richard and George in particular giving it a damned good go.
To summarise – phew! Whether this applies to the finish or the heat, decide for yourselves.
This is not the first time I have been asked to do this so I do have some experience to fall back on. I lost my match report virginity many years ago when asked by a previous club with a rotation policy of authors to write the report. I replied “but I haven’t done it before and I have no idea how to.” I was concerned. The reply I received was “just write a load of b****cks, that’s what everyone else does.” I thought – maybe I can do this after all.
We welcomed the fine folk of Romsey Town to Coton. After the away game at Trinity Old Field earlier in the season we were hoping that the strip would not be too embarrassing compared with their snooker table pitch, and indeed outfield. There wasn’t much we could have done about the outfield but the strip was in fine fettle which is testament to the hard work put in by the tireless pitch preparers. It played very well indeed. To the tune of over 400 runs.
Romsey batted first and we knew we needed a breakthrough early as the Romsey openers have racked up some seriously big partnerships this season. George opened the bowling from the far end (which I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that in the intervening overs he would be fielding at fine leg under the trees in the only bit of shade on the hottest day of the year) with Neil taking the footpath end (so he would be fielding at fine leg a good length delivery away from his own sofa when George was bowling). After a slightly expensive opening 4 overs George produced one of his nasty slower balls that turned in to a full toss. Under normal circumstances we would all love to receive knee high full tosses. But when you are expecting fast-medium inswinging leg cutters pitched 2 inches outside off just short of a good length some adjustments are necessary. Well, he got a bit of bat on it which was just enough to edge it down on to his stumps. 24-1. For the next few over runs were very hard to come by as George and Neil were accurate and most shots that were played went to fielders. Then there was a magnificent piece of dummying in the deep from Scotch. A very comfortable two was turned in a risky 3 when Scotch deliberately threw the ball 2 feet behind him lulling the batsmen into a false sense of security for a third. He clearly planned this all along as there would be no other way that he could have picked the ball up so quickly and winged it in to the keeper to remove the bails with the number 3 so far short of his ground. 39-2. Then followed a healthy partnership where the number 4, who couldn’t get the ball off the square in the away game, got the ball off the square several times. Poor Scotch suffered at his hands but was hampered by an injury. We’re not sure whether this was sustained during his Jonty Rhodes impression. Before we started there were murmurs that Nick Clarke will give us early chances and we must take them or we’ll be in trouble. He didn’t, we therefore couldn’t and we were. The most likely way to get him out looked to be waiting for him to get too tired to bat. That happened at around the end of the 40th over. He faced the last ball of the innings and took a single whilst his team mates hovering over the scorebook were shouting “RUN!” I don’t think he could have. He ended up 99 not out.
Adam bowled well getting a lot of movement but no luck and Rob McCorquodale also bowled well and took a very good caught and bowled. 93-3. Then followed a very tiring period in the field due to the heat and lack of wickets. They didn’t give many chances. When George came back from the Footpath end (he wasn’t really going to get away with hiding under trees any longer) we finally got an lbw decision going our way. Many previous ones looked not un-adjacent. 180-4. Romsey finished on 221 for 4.
Tea was courtesy of our captain which was a wonderful spread. A culinary discussion took place about whether a cheese sandwich needs Branston, but the greatest achievement was the serving of chocolate biscuits which had not melted.
Alastair and Gabriel opened the batting and the bowling looked to be fairly unthreatening. So it was quite a surprise when Gabriel played a forcing shot to short mid off to be out for 8. 33-1. What looked like the match winning partnership then took place. Alastair and Richard batted very well and at a good rate until the first ball after the 2nd drinks break. Yes, I did say second drinks break, which was due to the extreme heat (did I mention how hot it was?) Richard crawled towards the cup and jug carriers complaining about dehydration. After what happened the next ball we might have been better off if he’d remained dehydrated, but no complaints about such a fine 44 in a partnership of 93. 126-2. Dave then joined Alastair for a partnership of 44 whilst almost keeping up with the asking rate of 8 an over, but not quite. (Rob – do you also have that Michael Vaughan feeling when referring to yourself in the 3rd person?) By this time fielders were disappearing towards the boundary making 4’s hard to come by. Lots of sprinting of the first run to get a few 2’s got more runs than was sensible in that heat until Dave yorked himself trying to launch a full ball. 170-3. This brought George to the wicket with the chase well set up for a George special. He sensibly played himself in whilst taking 1s and 2s before the big shots came out. During one of the quick runs Alastair finally succumbed to the heat and failed to make it being run out for a heroic 75. 188-4.
Adam had quite a go at one delivery from the top end, It was very high and well taken by their sub fielder Richard, who only came along to watch his son play. Richard had been saying that he might contemplate joining us as he couldn’t get into the Romsey side. If he’d palmed it over the boundary for 6 we might have been more welcoming. On the other hand he can catch. Either side of this George lofted a 6 at each end. The second was off the first ball of the last over when 12 were needed to win. The cheers that went up when that cleared the rope (actually it cleared many of the trees by the Footpath too. Well, more of an “instead” than a “too”, as we don’t actually have a rope.). As it was so big and as we were umpiring we had hoped for it to be signalled as a 12 which would have been handy, but our ability to play within the spirit of the game often outweighs our ability. Desperate (and occasionally swift) running from George, Neil and Andy got us to 220 at the end of the over which included 2 run outs, and a loss by 1 run! #
The highlights were the bowling of George (2-39) and Neil (0-42) who both bowled their full 10 overs at pace in extreme heat, an all-round batting performance with some very good running between the wickets to get 220 with Alastair, Richard and George in particular giving it a damned good go.
To summarise – phew! Whether this applies to the finish or the heat, decide for yourselves.
Numbers. Coton lose to Wilbrahams
Looking back through recent reports it seems to me that there are way too many numbers involved. “So and so scored this and then someone else took that many wickets” and so on. So this week I shall attempt, totally without a safety net, a match report without any numbers.
This week’s game was in the bucolic setting of Great Wilbraham. The ground was asymmetric with long boundaries on the Church side and shorter ones towards the road/clubhouse which included an interesting kink to circumnavigate the club house and changing room. The team that turned out was very different that which plied their trade at Weston Colville the previous week: Rob McC, Rab, Pete and George were all missing. Who knows whether we would even have been able to raise a team if England hadn’t been so obliging in their ineptness? In came Jack Bowden – last seen at Parker’s Piece – and there were debuts for Gordon Roper, Dennis Finn and Matt Chandler, (not Ross’s son unless he is very, very tall for his age and shaving very early).
Neil and Rob opened the bowling but it wasn’t until we brought on the change bowlers that we made a break through. Adam, Neil and Scotch all turned in good spells. Matt was wayward but served up some unplayable (and apparently uncatchable) balls in a short spell. A net session with Dr Sparnon and Coach Chris could sort this out. The breakthrough came courtesy of a fine catch by Neil running in from the boundary and tumbling forward to secure a wicket for Adam. A few overs later Adam returned the favour back peddling calmly to take a catch off Neil, the ball having looped over the former’s head at point.
Good catching was generally the order of the day. In Matt’s debut bowl for Coton and a rank long hop was smashed straight at Rob in the covers. The latter failed to get out of the way fast enough, parried the ball and held on the rebound. Rob repeated this off Scotch, this time intercepting a savage pull at midwicket and again using the parry and catch routine. Rob tells me that he still has the seam imprinted on his hand as we approach the middle of the following week. There were less dramatic but just as important catches for Dennis and Matt. In between these Alastair managed to hold a catch between his legs off Neil having used pretty much every other body part to keep the ball off the ground on its way down: not pretty, but just as effective.
So, Wilbraham’s batted out their full allocation of overs: we were unable to break the final partnership. The wickets were shared between Neil, Dave, Adam, Rob and Matt: Neil and Dave taking as many each as the Adam, Rob and Matt did in combination (there is enough info here to work out how many each person took – if you don’t get it, see me after class).
The total was large and our target was a nice round number which could be expressed in Roman numerals that otherwise could be taken to mean “cricket club”. [I don’t think anything in that sentence constitutes a number.]
And then we batted and here comes the tricky bit – how to explain an innings with no numbers.
Gabriel and Alastair opened and put on the highest opening partnership for Coton this season before the former was pinned in front by a fast full pitched delivery. Wilbrahams had probably the best attack we have seen this season with quick accurate bowlers supplemented by a canny spinner. It was the latter that did most of the damage taking more wickets than the rest of the bowlers combined (and the same as the sum of Neil and Dave’s efforts, so you can figure that out as well…). It was enough to warrant a jug and just before we left he was charging glasses from a watering can full of lager.
With all the rookies on the team it was likely to be a chaotic batting performance. Jack “the shot” Bowden threatened briefly then Dennis clobbered the spinner for a maximum to the church wall along with some other lusty blows that sped across the distant boundary. However, it was only a matter of time before he missed a ball that span into his stumps. Alastair finally succumbed as well: but only after top scoring.
It was more or less a procession from there on in. Matt didn’t trouble the scorers, Adam couldn’t repeat his match winning performance of the previous week and Andy hit a few blows before being undone by the young pace man (who had been wound up by Rob warning him for bowline beamers – Rob says “sorry”, Andy). Neil hung around for a while, Scotch almost screwed himself into the ground trying to pull the spinner before Gordon was palpably LBW (I know we give too many but sometimes it’s just too bloody obvious to avoid raising the finger) leaving Rob stranded at the other end.
Apart from a spell at the beginning of the innings we hadn’t looked like chasing down the total: we would have needed to score just less than as many again to have passed the target.
We did pick up enough bonus points to stay out of the relegation spots: NCI lost and Balsham are no longer winless having defeated Weston Colville. Next week it’s home game. These have been so far and few between this season so let me know if you need the OS map reference.
And there it was: the statistics free match report: not one number.
Doh.
This week’s game was in the bucolic setting of Great Wilbraham. The ground was asymmetric with long boundaries on the Church side and shorter ones towards the road/clubhouse which included an interesting kink to circumnavigate the club house and changing room. The team that turned out was very different that which plied their trade at Weston Colville the previous week: Rob McC, Rab, Pete and George were all missing. Who knows whether we would even have been able to raise a team if England hadn’t been so obliging in their ineptness? In came Jack Bowden – last seen at Parker’s Piece – and there were debuts for Gordon Roper, Dennis Finn and Matt Chandler, (not Ross’s son unless he is very, very tall for his age and shaving very early).
Neil and Rob opened the bowling but it wasn’t until we brought on the change bowlers that we made a break through. Adam, Neil and Scotch all turned in good spells. Matt was wayward but served up some unplayable (and apparently uncatchable) balls in a short spell. A net session with Dr Sparnon and Coach Chris could sort this out. The breakthrough came courtesy of a fine catch by Neil running in from the boundary and tumbling forward to secure a wicket for Adam. A few overs later Adam returned the favour back peddling calmly to take a catch off Neil, the ball having looped over the former’s head at point.
Good catching was generally the order of the day. In Matt’s debut bowl for Coton and a rank long hop was smashed straight at Rob in the covers. The latter failed to get out of the way fast enough, parried the ball and held on the rebound. Rob repeated this off Scotch, this time intercepting a savage pull at midwicket and again using the parry and catch routine. Rob tells me that he still has the seam imprinted on his hand as we approach the middle of the following week. There were less dramatic but just as important catches for Dennis and Matt. In between these Alastair managed to hold a catch between his legs off Neil having used pretty much every other body part to keep the ball off the ground on its way down: not pretty, but just as effective.
So, Wilbraham’s batted out their full allocation of overs: we were unable to break the final partnership. The wickets were shared between Neil, Dave, Adam, Rob and Matt: Neil and Dave taking as many each as the Adam, Rob and Matt did in combination (there is enough info here to work out how many each person took – if you don’t get it, see me after class).
The total was large and our target was a nice round number which could be expressed in Roman numerals that otherwise could be taken to mean “cricket club”. [I don’t think anything in that sentence constitutes a number.]
And then we batted and here comes the tricky bit – how to explain an innings with no numbers.
Gabriel and Alastair opened and put on the highest opening partnership for Coton this season before the former was pinned in front by a fast full pitched delivery. Wilbrahams had probably the best attack we have seen this season with quick accurate bowlers supplemented by a canny spinner. It was the latter that did most of the damage taking more wickets than the rest of the bowlers combined (and the same as the sum of Neil and Dave’s efforts, so you can figure that out as well…). It was enough to warrant a jug and just before we left he was charging glasses from a watering can full of lager.
With all the rookies on the team it was likely to be a chaotic batting performance. Jack “the shot” Bowden threatened briefly then Dennis clobbered the spinner for a maximum to the church wall along with some other lusty blows that sped across the distant boundary. However, it was only a matter of time before he missed a ball that span into his stumps. Alastair finally succumbed as well: but only after top scoring.
It was more or less a procession from there on in. Matt didn’t trouble the scorers, Adam couldn’t repeat his match winning performance of the previous week and Andy hit a few blows before being undone by the young pace man (who had been wound up by Rob warning him for bowline beamers – Rob says “sorry”, Andy). Neil hung around for a while, Scotch almost screwed himself into the ground trying to pull the spinner before Gordon was palpably LBW (I know we give too many but sometimes it’s just too bloody obvious to avoid raising the finger) leaving Rob stranded at the other end.
Apart from a spell at the beginning of the innings we hadn’t looked like chasing down the total: we would have needed to score just less than as many again to have passed the target.
We did pick up enough bonus points to stay out of the relegation spots: NCI lost and Balsham are no longer winless having defeated Weston Colville. Next week it’s home game. These have been so far and few between this season so let me know if you need the OS map reference.
And there it was: the statistics free match report: not one number.
Doh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
