Swinging in the Rain

English village cricket and English summers. In our dreams it is warm days under perfect blue skies and evenings that seem to go on for ever. It is skylarks singing and swallows swooping. It is ladies in summer dresses preparing finger sandwiches and cutting home made sponges in the Edwardian pavilion. Perhaps they stop their preparations a minute to watch husbands, sons and lovers as another wicket falls. It is the old couple that have set up deckchairs on the boundary edge beside the white picket fence that surrounds their pristine thatched cottage. She never gives up on her knitting – perhaps a new sweater for their grandson who is now in the team. He dozes off in the warm sun, awoken from time to time by the sound of graceful cover drive sending the ball skittering to the cover boundary or a raucous appeal of the bowler denied yet another LBW appeal. It is the sound of church bells calling the faithful to worship and reminding us that match is almost over.

And then there is reality. It is cold, leaden skies overhead and a gale whipping across the ground driving rain into the face of the unlucky fielder exiled to deep fine leg. It is the sound of the M11 and gunfire from the nearby firing ranges. It is utilitarian concrete changing rooms with a collection of dirty abandoned kit. It is a lonely spectator who is inevitably a club member who didn’t get a game or maybe the parents of a junior team member.

You see, fielding on the boundary waiting for the next rank long hop to be larruped in your direction you get a lot of time to think. This week I was mostly thinking about the multiverse and anthropic principles (weak and strong) and ruminating on the possibility in some of those realities I might actually get a bowl.

But enough of that, you don’t want to hear the meanderings of a grumpy old man. You want to know about Coton vs. Steeple Morden and how the game unfolded. We lost: what more to say?

A grimly unpromising morning showed enough hints of better weather to come that the game went ahead. Gabriel, Dan and to a lesser extent Rob prepared a track that although damp played very well. The fund raising and investment in a heavy roller is paying off even if Gabriel couldn’t get it back into the container as the approaches were too muddy.

Steeple Morden got to bat first in the gloomy, but thankfully dry, conditions. Ross gave the team a rousing talk about keeping the ball up and making catches from batsmen playing to early and regular bowling changes. Some of the bowlers, but unfortunately not many of the fielders, actually followed the plan and at the 25 over stage we had kept the league leaders to fewer than 3 runs an over. A tight 10 over spell by Ross saw several LBW appeals turned down. I don’t think the following exchange actually happened, but it could have:

“How is that?”

“Not Out – missing leg”.

“I know”.

“You know? Why did you appeal then?”

“Missing leg sure, but would have flattened middle”.

This lead to some more interval dressing room lectures on the subject of umpiring & giving benefit of doubt. You know, the batsman isn’t out until the bail stops moving as there is the chance that a freak gust of wind could blow it back on to the stumps.

Meanwhile Milan and Ulassa both bowled good spells and Scotch was his usual self. I must have run out of synonyms for accurate, controlled and miserly in previous reports so will need to start repeating them as needed in upcoming games.

From my far off position I think the turning point came after we had a (by now, traditional) short break for rain. When we came back out our two quickest bowlers – Matt & Dan – got their chance from the top end. Unfortunately the ball was now harder to hold than a bar of soap and a series of long hops and chest high beamers (learn the rules, umpire) were in turn dispatched to the boundary or disdainfully ignored. The good, tight, work was undone. The dropped catches off their #4 who went on to top score came back to bite us and even Scotch was dispatched for a rare 6. Rob McCorquodale came on for a single sacrificial over and the 70 odd runs off 25 overs quickly became 177-5 by the end of the innings.

Still, the teas were good.

We got off to the traditional slow start. Ross was muttering about “do the batsmen have a plan?” on the boundary. Yes, they had a plan. They planned to put all the fielders to sleep and then start scoring but alas the fielders stayed awake long enough to get them out. Alastair was particularly unlucky to pick out a fielder with a well hit shot that was intercepted on its way to the boundary by a very sharp catch.

Scotch was promoted up the order so he could go off to a party. Steeple must have wondered what 5-11 must be like if this was our #4 batsman. He did hit a few lusty blows before missing a straight ball. Mrs Scotch and junior Scotches paced anxiously around while Dave showered. As usual, the shower took longer than the innings – probably for the best.

Milan and Ross were now at the wicket. Ross was looking in good form but Milan was struggling to score despite playing some classy shots. They always seemed to find fielders. Perhaps it was some youthful inexperience and he eventually lost patience and offered up a catch that was gratefully accepted.

Rob (K) now joined Ross with the prospects looking very grim: nearly 2/3rd of the overs gone, half the wickets down and still 120+ runs to get. Ross was now playing some very aggressive shots: a 6 that cannoned off the cottages across the foot path being the pick of them. In contrast, Rob led a charmed life. An attempted sweep that flew over slip for 4 and a possible stumping where the ball ricocheted off the keepers pads with the batsman out of his ground. There was an element of doubt that the keeper might have dislodged the bails with his gloves first but in all honesty it was probably out. Rob did run down the track once to often and was eventually stumped “properly” but could also have been given out caught as the ball had clipped the bat handle on the way through: a very smart bit of keeping.

Still, 30 had been raised in very quick time and Ross continued to take the attack to the opposition. 3 maxima in one over from the off spinner triggered a tactical rethink by Steeple Morden. The bowling changes did the damage. Off the first ball from a new bowler Ross went deep again and was caught just inside the ropes off a towering drive that first gathered ice and then evaded all the tree branches on the way down. After a brief pause to confirm the fielder was inside the line Ross was on his way for 61 off around 50 balls. The irony was that Ross was caught by their top scorer (who also scored 60 odd) to whom we had granted 3 or 4 lives: an object lesson that the hoary old cliché that “catches win matches” does have relevance.

The remaining batsmen – Ulassa, Dan, Matt & Rob M – brought the score up to a reasonable 115.

We lost by 62 runs. Holding the dropped catches, not giving away so many extras, and the few disastrous overs after the rain break would have made a difference and may have got us closer. We get another chance to find this out next week when we play the reverse fixture.

Good, that means we can concentrate on the league

Romance of the Cup? Bah, humbug. With an impressive ruthlessness, Coton dispensed with the distractions of the Junior Cup at the first opportunity by losing what looked like an unloseable game against NCI 5th XI on Parker's Piece on Sunday June 5th. Having dispatched NCI 4th in impressive fashion at the same venue last Summer, it should have been a comfortable outing against their younger sibling and certainly looked that way as our "Fire in Babylon" roster of pacemen kept the NCI score below three an over for almost their whole innings. Matt did everything but take a wicket, but Dan (2/11), Ullasa (1/35, the wicket coming off his first ball, and what a mess he made of the stumps!) and especially Ross (4/38) cashed in. NCI did break away a little in the last few overs to push up to 147/8 from 40 overs, some 20 more than had looked likely earlier. And we were rather more generous than we should have been, with 29 extras, including 2.5 extra overs of wides - second top scorer behind the opener who crafted a very patient 52. But 148 should have been well in range, so it was truly an impressive effort of will to ensure that we came up 20 short.

Having praised our resolve it is only fair to report that there was some doubt at the end as to whether we would actually pull it off. The start was everything we could have expected with the now familiar departure of Gabriel in the first over and then a rapid procession of others treading the same path to leave us 10/4 after a handful of overs. Ross and Al then did what they usually do and scored runs, but, creditably, somewhat less than they usually do, both departing for 23. Dan had an impressive knock for 20, but with the score at 93/8, it certainly looked like everything had gone perfectly to plan - an enjoyable afternoon out, some good bowling practice and no more Cup anxieties to side-track our assault on the league title. We even let Rads leave early to ensure that we would not have a full complement of 1 batsmen. But then, alarmingly, Scotch joined Matt at the crease and things began to go horribly wrong. As the runs kept flowing, many of the NCIers began to look distinctly worried - they had very obviously turned up with an intention to win, poor souls. Eventually, with Matt on 20 and Scotch on 7, the dastardly duo attempted one run too many and at 128/9 the curtain came down on proceedings - to the huge surprise and relief of NCI who were expecting a number 11 to emerge from the hutch.

With that nuisance out the way, all our attention is now focused back on the league where it belongs. How we will work out the excuses for subsequent league defeats remains to be seen.

Milan of the Match: Coton beat Barrington

On Saturday May 28th, two important cricket matches took place on different continents. In Chennai (*), India the Royal Challengers Bangalore took on the Chennai Super Kings in front of 50,000 colourful, exuberant supporters in the final of the 4th Indian Premier League.

Meanwhile in a grey, damp Coton (England) the home team welcomed Barrington 2nd XI in front of one man and a dog. Except that Alastair hadn’t brought his dogs this week so it was just one man: well done Neil!

The connections between the IPL and the CCA don’t end there. Each year in the IPL there is an auction where franchises pay stupid money for average players. This year in the CCA auction we recruited Ulassa Kodandaramaiah for two pints of Guinness and a packet of crisps: good deal, he bowled very well on his debut without taking a wicket. Don’t worry, it will come.

The weather for these home games is becoming very predictable. Grey, rainy mornings lead into improving conditions throughout the day just in time for a pleasant recap in the pub afterwards. We gave Barrington the first use of a wicket which played very well throughout. Ross used 6 bowlers to bowl Barrington out for 89 in the last over. It says something about the strength of the opposition when our best bowler didn’t get to turn his arm over (I was paid to write this).

All the bowlers performed well: the aforementioned Ulassa on his debut and Matt Chandler went wicketless whilst deserving better. Milan led the way by taking the first 4 wickets, Ross snagged 3, Dave Scotcher 2 and Charlie picked up the 10th. Milan was very close to a 5-for despite bowling into the teeth of a strong breeze (he isn’t senior enough to get the choice of ends yet). He went close to the 5th wicket several times non more so when Scotch just failed to reach a chance in the gully after one of his famous salmon leaps. There was some conjecturing that Scotch may have been the recipient of Milan’s pocket money as the latter didn’t have enough to buy the obligatory jug in the event that he took 5 wickets.

It was a very tight bowling performance all around helped by enthusiastic fielding and appealing. None more so than Gabriel’s scream of delight for what he thought was a stunning catch by Andy at short mid on. Andy dived like a halibut and rolled over with a bemused look on his face as Gabriel rushed to congratulate him: the fact that the ball was 30 yards away seemed to have eluded Mr Fox.

One catch that did stick was by Alastair off of Ross. From my position in exile at 3rd man I stopped looking at the passing cyclists long enough to witness the ball seemingly heading for Gabriel’s face at slip. Like a cobra striking its prey, Alastair’s hand was suddenly between the ball and Gabriel and the ball was nestling in his glove. It looked so casual that next time we need to make it a little more challenging by having Alastair keep wicket on a unicycle. Alastair also took a stumping standing back to Ross. He has persisted through 6 fruitless years of throwing the ball at the stumps from this position, and either missing or being late or both. Finally it paid off and the umpire rather sheepishly sent the batsman on his way.

Scotch finally got a bowl to finish off the innings with a caught and bowled: a previous possible caught and bowled from a ball that went a couple of hundred feet in the air having been hampered by the jetstream from a low flying Vulcan on its way to Duxford.

[Note to bowlers: any complaints about not getting enough overs will fall on deaf ears with this reporter.]

89 all out and Dave Simmons made it through a complete innings without heading the ball. We retired for tea, courtesy of Mr East. He’ll make someone a lovely wife one day.

The weather had gotten gradually better by the time we batted and we made steady progress through the first three wickets, needing 30 to win with 7 wickets standing and half the overs to get them.

Gabriel and Dave Simmons both went LBW to Barrington's opening bowler. Being kind we can say that Gabriel’s decision was “marginal” and Dave’s was “bleeding obvious”. Dave had been trying to give his wicket away from the start having narrowly survived his first ball. In the over he finally departed he was let off twice by the Barrington keeper (dropped catch, missed stumping).

Alastair and Milan seemed to be making serene progress to the victory until Milan holed out to mid on. In 30 years time, with a hundred more pounds behind the shot it would have cleared the fielder but for now it was a comfortable catch.

That precipitated a fall of wickets of Sri Lankan proportions as we tried to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. 63-3 became 63-4, 63-5, 63-6 & 67-7 as Rob (caught at cover), Alastair (bowled), Andy (caught) and Charlie (run out) came and went whilst a bemused Ross looked on helplessly (apart from running out Charlie). The run out was probably a tactic so that when we did eventually win the skipper’s innings looked even more important.

Ross Chandler was joined at the wicket by Matt (no relation) Chandler and the runs slowly came. Scotch had worked his way through his own finger nails and those of anyone unlucky enough to sit too near his as he watched anxiously. Ulassa seemed a lot more relaxed about the prospects of having to bat.

As Matt blocked his way to an important 2 not out, Ross knocked off the rest of the runs with some help from Mr Extras and we staggered over the line without losing any more wickets. Ross ended with a top score of 23 and Barrington’s unbeaten run was snapped.

So who was Milan of the Match? It’s between Milan the Man (4-16 & 16 runs) and Ross the Boss (3-15 and 23). Well done lads.

That leaves us firmly in mid table, 5th out of 9. Steeple Morden are the only unbeaten team although how much we can trust the CCA website is debatable when it reports results such as “Cambourne CC - 2nd XI Won by -1 runs”!

Fun (?) fact of the day: Coton’s highest 6th wicket partnership in 3 attempts this season is … 0! Being #7 on the batting order is a kiss of death so far – it’s always the number 7 who has been out.

(*) As Madras was renamed Chennai several years ago why do Indian restaurants still have Chicken Madras on the menu (not to mention Ceylon, Bombay…)?

A Wise Philosopher...

... once asked, if a game of cricket takes place and no one was there to write a match report, did it really happen? Coton vs Hardwick, 21/May/2011. Enough said.

Heads We Win

Coaches will always tell you to use your head when playing cricket.

  • Look where the fielders are and try to hit the ball where they aren’t.
  • If a batsman is strong on the leg side don’t bowl him a series of leg side long hops.
  • If there is no one backing up at the stumps don’t fling the ball in so hard it goes for 4 overthrows.

It’s all about applying some thought and, “using your head”.

I bet Dave Simmons wishes he hadn’t taken those coaches so literally now.

After another week of brilliant spring weather Saturday again dawned dull and overcast with a strong wind whipping across Coton Rec. Having secured our tape measure back from the “Fun Run” organisers the usual suspects proceeded to prepare for the visit of Girton who we had last played a couple of years ago. Three changes from the previous week saw Adam Wright back in the team, the return of Dave Hale who had taken the 2010 season as a sabbatical and Charlie Stevenson making his debut.

Ross won the toss, inserted the opposition and we got first use of the shiny, new, new ball that Andy had picked up from Cricket Stick earlier.

Charlie got first use and soon discovered what countless generations of Coton quick bowlers before him had suffered through: banging it in short will not get you any bounce. Once he adjusts to this he will be quite a handful in J4B as he showed when he pitched one up to the Girton opener and elicited an edge to first slip. Gabriel’s hours of practice on slip cradle paid off and he held a very sharp rising chance. Having just spent 10 minutes dropping, fumbling and juggling easier catches in front of the Girton team they looked suitably stunned by the catch (as we did!).

The wicket was timely. Girton had gotten away to a quick start using the pace of Charlie to rattle up some runs and also taking the attack to Milan who had opened at the other end.

Ross is a decisive captain and he soon rang the changes to stop Girton getting on top. Adam took wickets in successive overs, first bowling the Girton captain having totally bemused him with some sharp turn and then enticing the wicket keeper to lob a catch to Dave Simmons.

Ross removed the other opener in a tight spell that encouraged a lot of “ohhs” and “ahhs” from the close field. A note on that field: Ross kept attacking throughout and it paid dividends.

Despite the two wickets it looked like Adam was coming in for some tap so he made way for Dave Scotcher and Charlie came back for a 2nd spell, Ross having removed the other opener.

Charlie then showed how quickly he was adapting to the Coton wicket by bowling a rank long hop that pinned a bemused Girtonian in front on the 2nd bounce. Like all wickets this one was obviously the bowler's cunning plan all along and not at all due to the batsman looking for a fast chest high ball rather than one that slowly rolled into his ankle.

Scotch ripped out the next batsman’s middle stump before resorting to the “bad balls take wickets” stratagem. The Girton batsman made good contact with a shortish ball and launched it towards cow corner. Dave Simmons had been placed there for just such an eventuality and steadied himself for the catch. There then followed the awful sound of ball hitting skull as Dave decided to forego the use of hands and use his head. Gabriel was quick to respond making sure the ball was out of play before attending to Dave who was bleeding profusely. The first aid kit was brought into play and an ambulance summoned to whisk away the unfortunate Dave who was getting very little (no) sympathy from Scotch for missing a chance of his bowling.

This threw us for a moment but we regrouped. Milan returned to the attack and got a deserved wicket and Ross took another to have them 8 down for less than 100. There was then a fight back by Girton for the 9th wicket which we kept in check with some good fielding aided and abetted by Girton’s #10 not being able to keep pace with his younger, fleeter, partner. It was no surprise when we finished things off with 2 run outs. The first was from a throw by Adam that missed the stumps at the bowler’s end (to which he was throwing) and ran out the struggling batsman with a direct hot at the other end. The second run out was a cool underarm return from Charlie.

128 all out with just over two overs remaining: the wickets spread between 5 bowlers and some eager fielding.

Alastair provided the teas and the “peanut butter with marmite and cucumber” sandwiches proved to be rather tasty.

Gabriel and Dave Hale opened the batting in their contrasting styles. Dave bludgeoned some fierce boundaries whilst Gabriel accumulated in a more circumspect manner. This included one “6” for Gabriel that resulted when a wild return from a quickly run two evaded the keeper and the fielders before running away for 4 overthrows. They all count and looking back no-one will be able to differentiate between this 6 and one that had been achieved with a powerful shot.

Dave was getting into the groove but in trying to smash a 3rd successive boundary played all around a straight ball that rearranged his stumps.

This brought in Alastair. Having survived a straight forward chance to the keeper he started to play an array of shots that had the score rattling along nicely. We had passed 80 just before the half way stage and drinks were being readied when Gabriel lost his wicket. This was almost a carbon copy of the previous game where he succumbed at the same stage of the innings. Perhaps next time we should hide the drinks so he doesn’t get distracted.

Milan replaced Gabriel and proceeded to look very comfortable and elegant although unfortunately he managed to pick out fielders with all but one of his shots. With Alastair he took the score past 100 before getting out in a very similar way to the previous week from a ball that seemed to stop on him.

This brought a very surprised Rob to the wicket. Even with only 10 fit batsmen (the injured Dave Simmons being absent) he had been expecting to be number 11.

However he was quickly into his stride and smashed a couple of leg side boundaries. (Rob is still to score on the offside this season so a savvy captain would employ a 0/9 split field). Alastair was seeing the ball beautifully now and the remaining runs were knocked off in double quick time – the final four taking him to a well deserved 50.

So we had a win by 7 wickets with 13 overs to spare. The final overs had been watched by a crowd that must have been close to double figures: a possible record for Coton CC.

A few minutes after we finished the match the rains came down as we savoured the jugs provided by Mr Breward. A fitting end to an enjoyable day, and best wishes to Mr Simmons for a speedy recovery.

Bali-Hi (& Bali-low)

Every year, in early May (or late April), thousands of people up and down the country look forward to their first cricket game of the year, whilst thousands of wives and girlfriends look forward to days of unencumbered shopping. Months of dedicated training in the winter nets will be put to the test. All those resolutions (“I will not throw my bat at the first ball”, “I won’t bowl leg side wides”, etc) will be mulled over and rejected at the first possible opportunity.

A quick search of the kit bag will reveal that the whites were forgotten at the end of the last season and now support new life forms hitherto unknown to science. Or perhaps you had forgotten that you needed a new shirt/trousers/whatever for the new season. A quick trip to Sports Direct will be required.

You will stay off the beer on Friday night and get a good night’s sleep to be fit and ready (yeah right).

And then, true to form, having just come through the driest April since records began you awake on Saturday morning to the sound of raindrops hitting the window ledge and curse the fact that you didn’t shut the window the previous night.

This was the prospect of Coton CC 2011 as they prepared for the game against Barley. Gabriel had made a start on the pitch preparations and slowly others rolled up to help. A pitch was lovingly (if slightly crookedly) cut, rolled – with our shiny new roller – and marked. The ropes that cordoned off the training areas that had encroached into the outfield were carefully removed and a boundary measured and marked.

Dave Simmons arrived with the teas and the rest of team having waited around the corner until the pitch prep was complete made an appearance. There was a mix of old (and very old) faces and debuts for Milan Mniszko and Adam Bradbury who at 13 had just become of age to play for the seniors. It was a very sobering thought for the older members of the team that there was more than 40 years separating them from the debutants. Even with all that experience the latter were still smart enough to let the former do the pitch work though.

Such are the joys of village cricket, long may they endure.

King George had abdicated at the end of the previous season (some lame excuse about marriage and moving) so Saturday May 7th saw the start of the reign of King Ross (the 1st of his name). There was no coronation ceremony, not even a haka, before Ross strolled out to the middle. Following the time honoured tradition of Coton captains he lost the toss and we were given first opportunity to bat.

Meanwhile in the dressing room there was much discussion about where Barley was located. Down south was proffered and for a short time I was picturing a tropical Indonesian island with exotic maidens. No such luck.

Gabriel and Ross donned the pads, Rob and Andy donned the coats and after a short panic we located the match ball, bails and counters. And the 2011 season was underway with a play and a miss from Gabriel.

It was soon evident that in true Coton tradition the pitch was low and slow. Gabriel prodded and poked, and Ross hit one cracking boundary before being undone by one that stopped on him resulting in a lob back to the bowler.

Alastair had one pure comedy moment – stretching forward, he managed to slip, fall & crawl back into the crease to avoid being stumped: perhaps it was the wicket keepers union at work, the Barley keeper being so slow to take the bails. He was then removed by a ball that lifted, cut and clipped the off bail. This brought the first of our tyros to the wicket. Milan played some glorious shots which even had the opposition purring in approval. He was to perish in the same manner as Ross, who had early been lecturing in the perils of Coton wickets: obviously a case of “do as I do, not do as I say”. I should point out that the bowler was called “Chuck”: an appropriate name if I ever heard one! He bowled 10 overs and took 2 for 7. Very tidy indeed.

This was in the 9th over and Gabriel had just got in the mark. I was going to make a comment about his snail’s pace batting but do not want be accused of snailism.

Dave and Gabriel then engaged in the biggest partnership of the day, both hitting some fine shots and the score progressed past 50 just before the 20th over mark when Gabriel became the 2nd victim for a very animated Jimmy Ghani whose appeals ranged from promising through optimistic to downright ludicrous.

Adam Bradbury showed great composure on his debut despite watching Dave Simmons (top score, 20) and Andy East depart to successive deliveries. Andy’s patented shuffle back and across didn’t fool the umpire at all and he was plumb LBW, Dave went to a good catch off a well struck shot.

There then followed the most controversial moment of the match. A ball evaded the Barley keeper and scuttled away for byes. The fielder at fine leg slid and stopped the ball but was patently over the boundary in doing so. The batsmen were coming back for a 2nd when he pinged the ball in and Matt Chandler was caught short of his ground. The fielder appeared to be signalling a boundary but Matt was given out. After some discussion he departed but Ross intervened with the Barley captain and the umpires resulting in Matt being recalled.

Gordon also bagged an LBW and Matt went for real a few overs later. Scotch and Rob then put on 14 for the last wicket taking the innings into the 40th over before Scotch was unluckily stumped by a ball that rebounded off the keeper.

Teas, courtesy of Mr Simmons, were gratefully consumed despite Scotch’s moaning about a lack of pickle/mustard/condiment in the sandwiches. The French Fancies were very good.

And then we bowled and fielded. Barley got off to a slow start against accurate bowling of contrasting styles from Matt and Milan. Neither could make the breakthrough despite many close calls so Ross rang the changes bringing himself on along with Rob. After a couple of tight overs Rob bowled a few loose deliveries and got the hook to be replaced by Scotch and there followed 20 overs of very tight bowling as Barley fell behind the required scoring rate.

This was punctuated with a steady drip of wickets. Ross snagged one opener with the third caught and bowled of the match having hesitaited just long enough to need a dive to make the catch look spectacular. Dave bowled the other opener and Ross got a 2nd wicket with a good catch from Alastair.

At this stage it was anyone’s game with the required run rate going up and some tight bowling and fielding keeping Barley under pressure.

Milan came back for a 2nd spell after Ross’s spell of 2-19 in 10 overs came to an end. The former had been unlucky not to get a wicket in his first spell but he didn’t have to wait too long second time around. A sharp catch by Dave Simmons at backward square removed the dangerous – and enthusiastic – Ghani. Milan took a second with an LBW coming round the wicket to a left hander, the ball straightening enough to trap him in front.

That was the last wicket to fall and Barley now staggered across the line with 10 balls to spare to end a close match in the best weather of the day.

And so the 2011 season starts with a defeat. On the plus side we had highly promising debuts from Milan and Adam, solid batting from Dave Simmons and Gabriel and good tight bowling from Scotch and Ross. Next week it’s Girton. Two years ago we beat them twice without losing a wicket. Let’s hope for something along those lines this time.

End of Term Report for Coton, Form J3B

Overall Assessment/Results - Coton is a troublesome pupil that is failing to produce consistent results. We feel that with a little more application that this pupil could prosper however that could depend on solid practice in the close season. The impact of new on-field leadership is yet to be seen but could be critical.

  • Attendance - B+ - would have been an "A" except for some late arrivals. There will be delays on the M11 on Saturdays and 2 dogs are insufficient to pull a bike at more than 5 mph: these are known facts and should be accounted for. Changing in cars on the way to games should also be discouraged.
  • Appearance - B - generally well turned out with a few execptions. Younger members of the team should be encouraged to keep their shirts on.
  • Batting - C+ - despite the loss to injury of the team's best batsman and the frequenct unavailability of the captain, an improvement over previous years. Only one calamitous collapse and regularly batting through the full 40 overs. Next year emphasis should be on scoring a few more runs during those overs and better pacing of the innings.
  • Bowling - C - oh dear, a distinct dropping off in standards in terms of the runs allowed per wicket and the totals achieved by the opposition. Some mitigating factors in better pitches and an equivalent improvement in the scores achieved on the batting side.
  • Fielding - C+ - there is an old adage that senior members of the team should be positioned at slip to avoid the unedifying prospect of watching them lumber after the ball. Unfortunately that would mean Coton deploying 6-7 slips, and their bowlers have not proved worthy of this. Some spectacular catches and not too many comedy moments. Could do better.
  • Captaincy - A - perhaps an unfair assessment given the author of the report. During the season Coton tried a tactic of taking to the field with 11 captains despite evidence that this rarely, if ever, succeeds.
  • Umpiring - B - a commendable desire to be honest which is out of line with many teams in the league and more members of the team volunteering to stand. With a little more "benefit of the doubt" applied better results could be achieved.
  • Scoring - B+ - attempts to computerise the scoring were only partially successful due to the affects of sunlight (yes, there was some) and power. More successful was the late season introduction of legibility and couloured pencils to the scorebook.
  • Pitch Preparation - A - Much improved this season. Thanks to all the crews that turned out during the week and at weekends to prepare the wicket. The hard work is reflected in higher scores, longer matches and less injuries. At least one visiting captain gave the pitch a "good" rating.
  • Catering - B - some last minute scrambles (and I don't mean eggs) but always got there in the end. Balance of sandwiches and cakes about right. Coton and its visitors were never underfed as evidenced by the team profiles.
  • Drinking - B- - a weaker performance than in previous seasons. Perhaps due to longer matches meaning later arrivals and a higher percentage of out-of-village players. This trend must be reversed otherwise action will need to be taken.
  • Chuntering - A - If Leagues were won by how good a game a team can talk then Coton would have been challenging for promotion rather than struggling at the lower reaches of the division. An area that needs no improvement next season and a solid pass in prospect.