As there was no action to report last weekend, how about a poem from Michael Green who wrote a book called The Art of Coarse Cricket some years ago?
(An Ancient Cricketer goeth in to bat.)
It is an Ancient Cricketer
And he stoppeth one of three.
The others whistle past his ear
Or strike him on the knee.
The pavilion gate is open wide
And he is last man in.
With creaking joints he walketh forth,
Thirty to make to win.
(He sendeth a catch to first slip, who droppeth it.)
His bat is in his skinny hand,
There are three slips thinks he.
He snicks a ball up to the first,
Eftsoons the catch drops he.
(His opponents beat their bosoms.)
A chance! A chance! Another chance!
The Cricketer giveth three.
The fielding captain beats his breast
And curseth him roundly.
The field was there, the field was here,
So thick upon the ground;
They crouched and growled, appealed and howled
The Cricketer's bat around.
Fielders, fielders, everywhere,
About his bat did creep.
Fielders, fielders everywhere,
Nor anyone in the deep.
(The Cricketer doth fear he hath an hole in his bat.)
God save thee, Ancient Cricketer!
Have mercy on thy soul!
Like many men before thee gone,
Thy bat must have an hole.
Yet still the Cricketer batteth on,
A full half-hour bats he.
He doth not score a
single run
Though he trieth mightily.
(Although he scoreth no runs, the Cricketer helpeth his side to win.)
'Tis done! 'Tis done! The game is won
And well and truly fought,
The Cricketer limpeth happily in
Although his score was nought.
He batteth best, who scoreth most,
And hath but little luck.
Yet though the Cricketer made no runs
It was a noble duck.
Fen Ditton do the double
Let’s start on a positive note. The weather was great. It was downhill after that I’m afraid to say. Well, actually it wasn’t all bad. There were some excellent performances. Unfortunately 2 of the best were from 2 Fen Ditton batsmen.
Fen Ditton turned up with what they described as a “bowling line-up”. Hmm. If only we’d got to see more of their batting line-up we might be able to comment further on this.
We batted first and Gabriel opened with Dave. After a few overs it didn’t look like the bowling would be very threatening. Dave got his head down to have a look at the bowling and reached 1 when he got his head down again and charged down the other end for a quick leg bye. Gabriel hadn’t heard a call of “yes” and stayed there whilst awaiting the result of a very optimistic lbw appeal. Ross played a very fine shot but straight at the cover point fielder who gratefully took the catch. Meanwhile Gabriel was doing what he has been doing most of the season by holding the top order together and putting away bad balls until he missed a straight to be LBW to their spinner.
Richard looked like he was going to continue his good recent run of form but then gave their irritatingly accurate spinner a return catch for 10. At the half way stage we were 52-4 and needed a George special, which he, along with a considerable amount of help from the middle order, provided. Adam played sensibly for his 13 and then Jack came in, had a look, then carted the bowling to cow corner very effectively, albeit briefly for his 16. Not wishing to devalue George’s innings, then came the most entertaining one from Andy. Andy’s first 6 scoring strokes were all hit for four. We were wondering why he didn’t try harder to give George the strike, so he showed us. His last 4 scoring strokes were all singles taking him to 28 in the penultimate over. It was around then that disaster struck when George dived to make his ground taking a quick 2. Pulling a muscle in an area which made volunteers to rub it better somewhat thin on the ground (it was either the dive or the applauding of Andy’s innings which caused the injury) George did enough damage to prevent him from either running or bowling.
This was probably the decisive point of the match. We would have been better off George being run out for 4 less and having him available to bowl, not that George’s batting average agrees with this. Neil had a legitimate heave and got himself bowled in the same over. That left George and Scotch to hobble a few off the last over with George being 73 not out at the end with a total of 177 for 8. That made the last 20 overs worth 125. Is the batting order upside down?
Tea was prepared, delivered and cling filmed by Gabriel. The sandwiches were very neatly arranged in straight rows with a very even distribution of fillings making choosing the ones with the most tuna quite tricky or pointless depending on your point of view. The many weeks of rolling and mowing the pitch have clearly contributed some useful, neat sandwich making skills.
Adam found himself in the unusual position of wicket-keeper in Alastair’s absence and he made a good job of it too with the occasional wide ball and a few keeping low. Ross opened and was quickly into an accurate spell where Fen Ditton found it difficult to score. Neil bowled some excellent deliveries, but probably suffered from having to bowl in tandem with the accurate Ross, so their skipper/keeper who batted at number 6 in the away game had a go at Neil and put away a few boundaries. Ross bowled through his 10 overs and got their skipper out lbw eventually, but not before he had made a handy 19. As far as success went that was it for us. Richard and Scotch bowled 9 overs for 51 and 7 overs for 34 respectively. The Fen Ditton batsmen found enough singles and the occasional boundary so that the pressure was never really on. Adam took the pads off and handed them to George who managed to creak into a kneeling position long enough to put them on and take over behind the stumps so that Adam could bowl in tandem with Jack until Fen Ditton reached their target.
Being a bit slower than Fen Ditton at getting a match report done (and scoring runs and taking wickets, as it turns out) I can now reveal from their match report that the 68 not out by their opener, James, is his first score in double figures for Fen Ditton and the 62 not out by H is his first 50. Oh dear. We would rather they got their records against someone else in future please. Not this year though – please lose your last 6 matches, Fen Ditton.
From our relative positions in the league and on paper we should probably have done better in this fixture. The high points were the batting of Andy, Jack, Adam and George (although he must work on his diving without pulling muscles) and the bowling of Ross and the first attempt behind the stumps for Adam. Another high point is the praise of our pitch from the opposition. And so on to Balsham…..
Fen Ditton turned up with what they described as a “bowling line-up”. Hmm. If only we’d got to see more of their batting line-up we might be able to comment further on this.
We batted first and Gabriel opened with Dave. After a few overs it didn’t look like the bowling would be very threatening. Dave got his head down to have a look at the bowling and reached 1 when he got his head down again and charged down the other end for a quick leg bye. Gabriel hadn’t heard a call of “yes” and stayed there whilst awaiting the result of a very optimistic lbw appeal. Ross played a very fine shot but straight at the cover point fielder who gratefully took the catch. Meanwhile Gabriel was doing what he has been doing most of the season by holding the top order together and putting away bad balls until he missed a straight to be LBW to their spinner.
Richard looked like he was going to continue his good recent run of form but then gave their irritatingly accurate spinner a return catch for 10. At the half way stage we were 52-4 and needed a George special, which he, along with a considerable amount of help from the middle order, provided. Adam played sensibly for his 13 and then Jack came in, had a look, then carted the bowling to cow corner very effectively, albeit briefly for his 16. Not wishing to devalue George’s innings, then came the most entertaining one from Andy. Andy’s first 6 scoring strokes were all hit for four. We were wondering why he didn’t try harder to give George the strike, so he showed us. His last 4 scoring strokes were all singles taking him to 28 in the penultimate over. It was around then that disaster struck when George dived to make his ground taking a quick 2. Pulling a muscle in an area which made volunteers to rub it better somewhat thin on the ground (it was either the dive or the applauding of Andy’s innings which caused the injury) George did enough damage to prevent him from either running or bowling.
This was probably the decisive point of the match. We would have been better off George being run out for 4 less and having him available to bowl, not that George’s batting average agrees with this. Neil had a legitimate heave and got himself bowled in the same over. That left George and Scotch to hobble a few off the last over with George being 73 not out at the end with a total of 177 for 8. That made the last 20 overs worth 125. Is the batting order upside down?
Tea was prepared, delivered and cling filmed by Gabriel. The sandwiches were very neatly arranged in straight rows with a very even distribution of fillings making choosing the ones with the most tuna quite tricky or pointless depending on your point of view. The many weeks of rolling and mowing the pitch have clearly contributed some useful, neat sandwich making skills.
Adam found himself in the unusual position of wicket-keeper in Alastair’s absence and he made a good job of it too with the occasional wide ball and a few keeping low. Ross opened and was quickly into an accurate spell where Fen Ditton found it difficult to score. Neil bowled some excellent deliveries, but probably suffered from having to bowl in tandem with the accurate Ross, so their skipper/keeper who batted at number 6 in the away game had a go at Neil and put away a few boundaries. Ross bowled through his 10 overs and got their skipper out lbw eventually, but not before he had made a handy 19. As far as success went that was it for us. Richard and Scotch bowled 9 overs for 51 and 7 overs for 34 respectively. The Fen Ditton batsmen found enough singles and the occasional boundary so that the pressure was never really on. Adam took the pads off and handed them to George who managed to creak into a kneeling position long enough to put them on and take over behind the stumps so that Adam could bowl in tandem with Jack until Fen Ditton reached their target.
Being a bit slower than Fen Ditton at getting a match report done (and scoring runs and taking wickets, as it turns out) I can now reveal from their match report that the 68 not out by their opener, James, is his first score in double figures for Fen Ditton and the 62 not out by H is his first 50. Oh dear. We would rather they got their records against someone else in future please. Not this year though – please lose your last 6 matches, Fen Ditton.
From our relative positions in the league and on paper we should probably have done better in this fixture. The high points were the batting of Andy, Jack, Adam and George (although he must work on his diving without pulling muscles) and the bowling of Ross and the first attempt behind the stumps for Adam. Another high point is the praise of our pitch from the opposition. And so on to Balsham…..
Weston Ho!
Just a few brief notes on the Weston Colville game during my temporary exile. We were just completing the work on the wicket when the Westons arrived at Coton Rec. In the light of the result perhaps we should be doing less! The weather was not looking too promising and, judging by the reactions of the Weston players neither was the wicket. How wrong they were. I figured that they had talked themselves into a collapse so putting them in was the right thing to do. We had after all dismissed them cheaply on their wicket and there was an air of optimism in the dressing room.
It was a very different looking Weston squad than we had seen the first time around and this led to some conjecture that they had loaded their team with 1st XI players. Subsequent research showed they hadn’t but that didn’t make it feel any better.
As we prepared to start the heavens opened and delayed the start. I have seen in other match reports that we have had some sunny days at the Rec but I haven’t played in any of them yet. This was to prove the only weather delay and it gradually got better through the day.
Neil opened the bowling with new recruit Courtney Henville and struck in his first over when the opener pulled the ball straight to Mitch Haynes at square leg. So far everything was looking good. Courtney bowled some killer deliveries mixed with some nervous beamers and wides. Neil – talking a break from his cross country hike – pounded in. Further breakthroughs were not forthcoming as Rob juggled the bowling in search of wickets.
Rob, Scotch, Adam & Richard all tried their luck and we did end up taking 5 more wickets while Weston piled on runs at almost 7 an over. Richard took 3, assisted by an Alastair stumping and good catches from Mitch and Sam. Sam was having an infuriating time in the field as the ball passed him in the air just out of catching ranges on multiple occasions. I thought of placing fielders one yard either side of him as the ball would have been straight to them every time.
Scotch grabbed two wickets: catches from Adam and Rad. Meanwhile Weston’s opening bat completed a not out century: just 100 more than he had scored in the first game and that was probably the key difference in them reaching 269-6.
After some fine teas courtesy of Adam we followed up with our worst batting since the opening day of the season.
Alastair was first to chipping a simple catch and then Richard attempted a suicide run to a ball that was in the wicket keeper’s hands.
Thereafter it was a procession of wickets. Sam went to a wild swing and Gabriel to another simple catch before Adam and Neil effected something of a recovery. Mitch smashed a loose ball straight at cover and it was left to Courtney to secure a second batting point with a top score 22 in 11 balls. We ended up 170 short for our worst defeat of the year.
The other results combined to leave us 6th, clear of the relegation spots. With 3 of our remaining games being against the teams below us it is going to be a tight ending to the season again.
It was a very different looking Weston squad than we had seen the first time around and this led to some conjecture that they had loaded their team with 1st XI players. Subsequent research showed they hadn’t but that didn’t make it feel any better.
As we prepared to start the heavens opened and delayed the start. I have seen in other match reports that we have had some sunny days at the Rec but I haven’t played in any of them yet. This was to prove the only weather delay and it gradually got better through the day.
Neil opened the bowling with new recruit Courtney Henville and struck in his first over when the opener pulled the ball straight to Mitch Haynes at square leg. So far everything was looking good. Courtney bowled some killer deliveries mixed with some nervous beamers and wides. Neil – talking a break from his cross country hike – pounded in. Further breakthroughs were not forthcoming as Rob juggled the bowling in search of wickets.
Rob, Scotch, Adam & Richard all tried their luck and we did end up taking 5 more wickets while Weston piled on runs at almost 7 an over. Richard took 3, assisted by an Alastair stumping and good catches from Mitch and Sam. Sam was having an infuriating time in the field as the ball passed him in the air just out of catching ranges on multiple occasions. I thought of placing fielders one yard either side of him as the ball would have been straight to them every time.
Scotch grabbed two wickets: catches from Adam and Rad. Meanwhile Weston’s opening bat completed a not out century: just 100 more than he had scored in the first game and that was probably the key difference in them reaching 269-6.
After some fine teas courtesy of Adam we followed up with our worst batting since the opening day of the season.
Alastair was first to chipping a simple catch and then Richard attempted a suicide run to a ball that was in the wicket keeper’s hands.
Thereafter it was a procession of wickets. Sam went to a wild swing and Gabriel to another simple catch before Adam and Neil effected something of a recovery. Mitch smashed a loose ball straight at cover and it was left to Courtney to secure a second batting point with a top score 22 in 11 balls. We ended up 170 short for our worst defeat of the year.
The other results combined to leave us 6th, clear of the relegation spots. With 3 of our remaining games being against the teams below us it is going to be a tight ending to the season again.
Runs in the Sun by our Junior Match Reporter
At last – a sunny day for a Coton home match. In an odd season for the fixture list where we are over half way through the season and have only just played our 3rd home game we have finally found that the sun can shine on the Coton rec on a Saturday. There were 5 changes from last week’s line up, with the most significant one being Rob not playing. That might not seem the most significant to all of you but for me it is, as I have been asked to take on the role of match report writer.
This is not the first time I have been asked to do this so I do have some experience to fall back on. I lost my match report virginity many years ago when asked by a previous club with a rotation policy of authors to write the report. I replied “but I haven’t done it before and I have no idea how to.” I was concerned. The reply I received was “just write a load of b****cks, that’s what everyone else does.” I thought – maybe I can do this after all.
We welcomed the fine folk of Romsey Town to Coton. After the away game at Trinity Old Field earlier in the season we were hoping that the strip would not be too embarrassing compared with their snooker table pitch, and indeed outfield. There wasn’t much we could have done about the outfield but the strip was in fine fettle which is testament to the hard work put in by the tireless pitch preparers. It played very well indeed. To the tune of over 400 runs.
Romsey batted first and we knew we needed a breakthrough early as the Romsey openers have racked up some seriously big partnerships this season. George opened the bowling from the far end (which I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that in the intervening overs he would be fielding at fine leg under the trees in the only bit of shade on the hottest day of the year) with Neil taking the footpath end (so he would be fielding at fine leg a good length delivery away from his own sofa when George was bowling). After a slightly expensive opening 4 overs George produced one of his nasty slower balls that turned in to a full toss. Under normal circumstances we would all love to receive knee high full tosses. But when you are expecting fast-medium inswinging leg cutters pitched 2 inches outside off just short of a good length some adjustments are necessary. Well, he got a bit of bat on it which was just enough to edge it down on to his stumps. 24-1. For the next few over runs were very hard to come by as George and Neil were accurate and most shots that were played went to fielders. Then there was a magnificent piece of dummying in the deep from Scotch. A very comfortable two was turned in a risky 3 when Scotch deliberately threw the ball 2 feet behind him lulling the batsmen into a false sense of security for a third. He clearly planned this all along as there would be no other way that he could have picked the ball up so quickly and winged it in to the keeper to remove the bails with the number 3 so far short of his ground. 39-2. Then followed a healthy partnership where the number 4, who couldn’t get the ball off the square in the away game, got the ball off the square several times. Poor Scotch suffered at his hands but was hampered by an injury. We’re not sure whether this was sustained during his Jonty Rhodes impression. Before we started there were murmurs that Nick Clarke will give us early chances and we must take them or we’ll be in trouble. He didn’t, we therefore couldn’t and we were. The most likely way to get him out looked to be waiting for him to get too tired to bat. That happened at around the end of the 40th over. He faced the last ball of the innings and took a single whilst his team mates hovering over the scorebook were shouting “RUN!” I don’t think he could have. He ended up 99 not out.
Adam bowled well getting a lot of movement but no luck and Rob McCorquodale also bowled well and took a very good caught and bowled. 93-3. Then followed a very tiring period in the field due to the heat and lack of wickets. They didn’t give many chances. When George came back from the Footpath end (he wasn’t really going to get away with hiding under trees any longer) we finally got an lbw decision going our way. Many previous ones looked not un-adjacent. 180-4. Romsey finished on 221 for 4.
Tea was courtesy of our captain which was a wonderful spread. A culinary discussion took place about whether a cheese sandwich needs Branston, but the greatest achievement was the serving of chocolate biscuits which had not melted.
Alastair and Gabriel opened the batting and the bowling looked to be fairly unthreatening. So it was quite a surprise when Gabriel played a forcing shot to short mid off to be out for 8. 33-1. What looked like the match winning partnership then took place. Alastair and Richard batted very well and at a good rate until the first ball after the 2nd drinks break. Yes, I did say second drinks break, which was due to the extreme heat (did I mention how hot it was?) Richard crawled towards the cup and jug carriers complaining about dehydration. After what happened the next ball we might have been better off if he’d remained dehydrated, but no complaints about such a fine 44 in a partnership of 93. 126-2. Dave then joined Alastair for a partnership of 44 whilst almost keeping up with the asking rate of 8 an over, but not quite. (Rob – do you also have that Michael Vaughan feeling when referring to yourself in the 3rd person?) By this time fielders were disappearing towards the boundary making 4’s hard to come by. Lots of sprinting of the first run to get a few 2’s got more runs than was sensible in that heat until Dave yorked himself trying to launch a full ball. 170-3. This brought George to the wicket with the chase well set up for a George special. He sensibly played himself in whilst taking 1s and 2s before the big shots came out. During one of the quick runs Alastair finally succumbed to the heat and failed to make it being run out for a heroic 75. 188-4.
Adam had quite a go at one delivery from the top end, It was very high and well taken by their sub fielder Richard, who only came along to watch his son play. Richard had been saying that he might contemplate joining us as he couldn’t get into the Romsey side. If he’d palmed it over the boundary for 6 we might have been more welcoming. On the other hand he can catch. Either side of this George lofted a 6 at each end. The second was off the first ball of the last over when 12 were needed to win. The cheers that went up when that cleared the rope (actually it cleared many of the trees by the Footpath too. Well, more of an “instead” than a “too”, as we don’t actually have a rope.). As it was so big and as we were umpiring we had hoped for it to be signalled as a 12 which would have been handy, but our ability to play within the spirit of the game often outweighs our ability. Desperate (and occasionally swift) running from George, Neil and Andy got us to 220 at the end of the over which included 2 run outs, and a loss by 1 run! #
The highlights were the bowling of George (2-39) and Neil (0-42) who both bowled their full 10 overs at pace in extreme heat, an all-round batting performance with some very good running between the wickets to get 220 with Alastair, Richard and George in particular giving it a damned good go.
To summarise – phew! Whether this applies to the finish or the heat, decide for yourselves.
This is not the first time I have been asked to do this so I do have some experience to fall back on. I lost my match report virginity many years ago when asked by a previous club with a rotation policy of authors to write the report. I replied “but I haven’t done it before and I have no idea how to.” I was concerned. The reply I received was “just write a load of b****cks, that’s what everyone else does.” I thought – maybe I can do this after all.
We welcomed the fine folk of Romsey Town to Coton. After the away game at Trinity Old Field earlier in the season we were hoping that the strip would not be too embarrassing compared with their snooker table pitch, and indeed outfield. There wasn’t much we could have done about the outfield but the strip was in fine fettle which is testament to the hard work put in by the tireless pitch preparers. It played very well indeed. To the tune of over 400 runs.
Romsey batted first and we knew we needed a breakthrough early as the Romsey openers have racked up some seriously big partnerships this season. George opened the bowling from the far end (which I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that in the intervening overs he would be fielding at fine leg under the trees in the only bit of shade on the hottest day of the year) with Neil taking the footpath end (so he would be fielding at fine leg a good length delivery away from his own sofa when George was bowling). After a slightly expensive opening 4 overs George produced one of his nasty slower balls that turned in to a full toss. Under normal circumstances we would all love to receive knee high full tosses. But when you are expecting fast-medium inswinging leg cutters pitched 2 inches outside off just short of a good length some adjustments are necessary. Well, he got a bit of bat on it which was just enough to edge it down on to his stumps. 24-1. For the next few over runs were very hard to come by as George and Neil were accurate and most shots that were played went to fielders. Then there was a magnificent piece of dummying in the deep from Scotch. A very comfortable two was turned in a risky 3 when Scotch deliberately threw the ball 2 feet behind him lulling the batsmen into a false sense of security for a third. He clearly planned this all along as there would be no other way that he could have picked the ball up so quickly and winged it in to the keeper to remove the bails with the number 3 so far short of his ground. 39-2. Then followed a healthy partnership where the number 4, who couldn’t get the ball off the square in the away game, got the ball off the square several times. Poor Scotch suffered at his hands but was hampered by an injury. We’re not sure whether this was sustained during his Jonty Rhodes impression. Before we started there were murmurs that Nick Clarke will give us early chances and we must take them or we’ll be in trouble. He didn’t, we therefore couldn’t and we were. The most likely way to get him out looked to be waiting for him to get too tired to bat. That happened at around the end of the 40th over. He faced the last ball of the innings and took a single whilst his team mates hovering over the scorebook were shouting “RUN!” I don’t think he could have. He ended up 99 not out.
Adam bowled well getting a lot of movement but no luck and Rob McCorquodale also bowled well and took a very good caught and bowled. 93-3. Then followed a very tiring period in the field due to the heat and lack of wickets. They didn’t give many chances. When George came back from the Footpath end (he wasn’t really going to get away with hiding under trees any longer) we finally got an lbw decision going our way. Many previous ones looked not un-adjacent. 180-4. Romsey finished on 221 for 4.
Tea was courtesy of our captain which was a wonderful spread. A culinary discussion took place about whether a cheese sandwich needs Branston, but the greatest achievement was the serving of chocolate biscuits which had not melted.
Alastair and Gabriel opened the batting and the bowling looked to be fairly unthreatening. So it was quite a surprise when Gabriel played a forcing shot to short mid off to be out for 8. 33-1. What looked like the match winning partnership then took place. Alastair and Richard batted very well and at a good rate until the first ball after the 2nd drinks break. Yes, I did say second drinks break, which was due to the extreme heat (did I mention how hot it was?) Richard crawled towards the cup and jug carriers complaining about dehydration. After what happened the next ball we might have been better off if he’d remained dehydrated, but no complaints about such a fine 44 in a partnership of 93. 126-2. Dave then joined Alastair for a partnership of 44 whilst almost keeping up with the asking rate of 8 an over, but not quite. (Rob – do you also have that Michael Vaughan feeling when referring to yourself in the 3rd person?) By this time fielders were disappearing towards the boundary making 4’s hard to come by. Lots of sprinting of the first run to get a few 2’s got more runs than was sensible in that heat until Dave yorked himself trying to launch a full ball. 170-3. This brought George to the wicket with the chase well set up for a George special. He sensibly played himself in whilst taking 1s and 2s before the big shots came out. During one of the quick runs Alastair finally succumbed to the heat and failed to make it being run out for a heroic 75. 188-4.
Adam had quite a go at one delivery from the top end, It was very high and well taken by their sub fielder Richard, who only came along to watch his son play. Richard had been saying that he might contemplate joining us as he couldn’t get into the Romsey side. If he’d palmed it over the boundary for 6 we might have been more welcoming. On the other hand he can catch. Either side of this George lofted a 6 at each end. The second was off the first ball of the last over when 12 were needed to win. The cheers that went up when that cleared the rope (actually it cleared many of the trees by the Footpath too. Well, more of an “instead” than a “too”, as we don’t actually have a rope.). As it was so big and as we were umpiring we had hoped for it to be signalled as a 12 which would have been handy, but our ability to play within the spirit of the game often outweighs our ability. Desperate (and occasionally swift) running from George, Neil and Andy got us to 220 at the end of the over which included 2 run outs, and a loss by 1 run! #
The highlights were the bowling of George (2-39) and Neil (0-42) who both bowled their full 10 overs at pace in extreme heat, an all-round batting performance with some very good running between the wickets to get 220 with Alastair, Richard and George in particular giving it a damned good go.
To summarise – phew! Whether this applies to the finish or the heat, decide for yourselves.
Numbers. Coton lose to Wilbrahams
Looking back through recent reports it seems to me that there are way too many numbers involved. “So and so scored this and then someone else took that many wickets” and so on. So this week I shall attempt, totally without a safety net, a match report without any numbers.
This week’s game was in the bucolic setting of Great Wilbraham. The ground was asymmetric with long boundaries on the Church side and shorter ones towards the road/clubhouse which included an interesting kink to circumnavigate the club house and changing room. The team that turned out was very different that which plied their trade at Weston Colville the previous week: Rob McC, Rab, Pete and George were all missing. Who knows whether we would even have been able to raise a team if England hadn’t been so obliging in their ineptness? In came Jack Bowden – last seen at Parker’s Piece – and there were debuts for Gordon Roper, Dennis Finn and Matt Chandler, (not Ross’s son unless he is very, very tall for his age and shaving very early).
Neil and Rob opened the bowling but it wasn’t until we brought on the change bowlers that we made a break through. Adam, Neil and Scotch all turned in good spells. Matt was wayward but served up some unplayable (and apparently uncatchable) balls in a short spell. A net session with Dr Sparnon and Coach Chris could sort this out. The breakthrough came courtesy of a fine catch by Neil running in from the boundary and tumbling forward to secure a wicket for Adam. A few overs later Adam returned the favour back peddling calmly to take a catch off Neil, the ball having looped over the former’s head at point.
Good catching was generally the order of the day. In Matt’s debut bowl for Coton and a rank long hop was smashed straight at Rob in the covers. The latter failed to get out of the way fast enough, parried the ball and held on the rebound. Rob repeated this off Scotch, this time intercepting a savage pull at midwicket and again using the parry and catch routine. Rob tells me that he still has the seam imprinted on his hand as we approach the middle of the following week. There were less dramatic but just as important catches for Dennis and Matt. In between these Alastair managed to hold a catch between his legs off Neil having used pretty much every other body part to keep the ball off the ground on its way down: not pretty, but just as effective.
So, Wilbraham’s batted out their full allocation of overs: we were unable to break the final partnership. The wickets were shared between Neil, Dave, Adam, Rob and Matt: Neil and Dave taking as many each as the Adam, Rob and Matt did in combination (there is enough info here to work out how many each person took – if you don’t get it, see me after class).
The total was large and our target was a nice round number which could be expressed in Roman numerals that otherwise could be taken to mean “cricket club”. [I don’t think anything in that sentence constitutes a number.]
And then we batted and here comes the tricky bit – how to explain an innings with no numbers.
Gabriel and Alastair opened and put on the highest opening partnership for Coton this season before the former was pinned in front by a fast full pitched delivery. Wilbrahams had probably the best attack we have seen this season with quick accurate bowlers supplemented by a canny spinner. It was the latter that did most of the damage taking more wickets than the rest of the bowlers combined (and the same as the sum of Neil and Dave’s efforts, so you can figure that out as well…). It was enough to warrant a jug and just before we left he was charging glasses from a watering can full of lager.
With all the rookies on the team it was likely to be a chaotic batting performance. Jack “the shot” Bowden threatened briefly then Dennis clobbered the spinner for a maximum to the church wall along with some other lusty blows that sped across the distant boundary. However, it was only a matter of time before he missed a ball that span into his stumps. Alastair finally succumbed as well: but only after top scoring.
It was more or less a procession from there on in. Matt didn’t trouble the scorers, Adam couldn’t repeat his match winning performance of the previous week and Andy hit a few blows before being undone by the young pace man (who had been wound up by Rob warning him for bowline beamers – Rob says “sorry”, Andy). Neil hung around for a while, Scotch almost screwed himself into the ground trying to pull the spinner before Gordon was palpably LBW (I know we give too many but sometimes it’s just too bloody obvious to avoid raising the finger) leaving Rob stranded at the other end.
Apart from a spell at the beginning of the innings we hadn’t looked like chasing down the total: we would have needed to score just less than as many again to have passed the target.
We did pick up enough bonus points to stay out of the relegation spots: NCI lost and Balsham are no longer winless having defeated Weston Colville. Next week it’s home game. These have been so far and few between this season so let me know if you need the OS map reference.
And there it was: the statistics free match report: not one number.
Doh.
This week’s game was in the bucolic setting of Great Wilbraham. The ground was asymmetric with long boundaries on the Church side and shorter ones towards the road/clubhouse which included an interesting kink to circumnavigate the club house and changing room. The team that turned out was very different that which plied their trade at Weston Colville the previous week: Rob McC, Rab, Pete and George were all missing. Who knows whether we would even have been able to raise a team if England hadn’t been so obliging in their ineptness? In came Jack Bowden – last seen at Parker’s Piece – and there were debuts for Gordon Roper, Dennis Finn and Matt Chandler, (not Ross’s son unless he is very, very tall for his age and shaving very early).
Neil and Rob opened the bowling but it wasn’t until we brought on the change bowlers that we made a break through. Adam, Neil and Scotch all turned in good spells. Matt was wayward but served up some unplayable (and apparently uncatchable) balls in a short spell. A net session with Dr Sparnon and Coach Chris could sort this out. The breakthrough came courtesy of a fine catch by Neil running in from the boundary and tumbling forward to secure a wicket for Adam. A few overs later Adam returned the favour back peddling calmly to take a catch off Neil, the ball having looped over the former’s head at point.
Good catching was generally the order of the day. In Matt’s debut bowl for Coton and a rank long hop was smashed straight at Rob in the covers. The latter failed to get out of the way fast enough, parried the ball and held on the rebound. Rob repeated this off Scotch, this time intercepting a savage pull at midwicket and again using the parry and catch routine. Rob tells me that he still has the seam imprinted on his hand as we approach the middle of the following week. There were less dramatic but just as important catches for Dennis and Matt. In between these Alastair managed to hold a catch between his legs off Neil having used pretty much every other body part to keep the ball off the ground on its way down: not pretty, but just as effective.
So, Wilbraham’s batted out their full allocation of overs: we were unable to break the final partnership. The wickets were shared between Neil, Dave, Adam, Rob and Matt: Neil and Dave taking as many each as the Adam, Rob and Matt did in combination (there is enough info here to work out how many each person took – if you don’t get it, see me after class).
The total was large and our target was a nice round number which could be expressed in Roman numerals that otherwise could be taken to mean “cricket club”. [I don’t think anything in that sentence constitutes a number.]
And then we batted and here comes the tricky bit – how to explain an innings with no numbers.
Gabriel and Alastair opened and put on the highest opening partnership for Coton this season before the former was pinned in front by a fast full pitched delivery. Wilbrahams had probably the best attack we have seen this season with quick accurate bowlers supplemented by a canny spinner. It was the latter that did most of the damage taking more wickets than the rest of the bowlers combined (and the same as the sum of Neil and Dave’s efforts, so you can figure that out as well…). It was enough to warrant a jug and just before we left he was charging glasses from a watering can full of lager.
With all the rookies on the team it was likely to be a chaotic batting performance. Jack “the shot” Bowden threatened briefly then Dennis clobbered the spinner for a maximum to the church wall along with some other lusty blows that sped across the distant boundary. However, it was only a matter of time before he missed a ball that span into his stumps. Alastair finally succumbed as well: but only after top scoring.
It was more or less a procession from there on in. Matt didn’t trouble the scorers, Adam couldn’t repeat his match winning performance of the previous week and Andy hit a few blows before being undone by the young pace man (who had been wound up by Rob warning him for bowline beamers – Rob says “sorry”, Andy). Neil hung around for a while, Scotch almost screwed himself into the ground trying to pull the spinner before Gordon was palpably LBW (I know we give too many but sometimes it’s just too bloody obvious to avoid raising the finger) leaving Rob stranded at the other end.
Apart from a spell at the beginning of the innings we hadn’t looked like chasing down the total: we would have needed to score just less than as many again to have passed the target.
We did pick up enough bonus points to stay out of the relegation spots: NCI lost and Balsham are no longer winless having defeated Weston Colville. Next week it’s home game. These have been so far and few between this season so let me know if you need the OS map reference.
And there it was: the statistics free match report: not one number.
Doh.
Back to winning ways - a grand day in Weston Colville
This week’s venue for the Coton Cricketers was Weston Colville, deep in the wilds of South East Cambridgeshire. It was a beautiful day and the match was played on one of the nicest grounds that we have played on in the last few years. A white picket fence surrounded the playing area and with the hedges and trees beyond it was an idyllic scene of English Village Cricket (until the players got there). I’m sure Richard would have found something to watch in the foliage had he been there.
From the team that succumbed to Wilbrahams, Dave Simmons, Richard & Ross were unavailable, but Captain George was back and Adam was available again (although sadly, his shoes were not) and Sam stepped in following a couple of late scratches.
We lost the toss, and were asked to field first. We had noted the very short boundaries straight of the wicket and protected those at both ends. Like The Fellowship of Ring we had 9 to start the game, so the rest of the field were deployed around the bat to prevent runs (“one ring to stop the single…”). Eschewing the shoeless-ness of Hobbits, Adam scrounged some walking shoes from Gabriel: I hope the latter has some strong odour eaters. Anyway, George took the lack of fielders out of the equation by forcing the opening bat to play on: 0-1 in the 1st over.
Rad had now arrived at the ground. He had been delayed by a bad accident on the M11. Surely even the police have spotted the correlation by now? Saturday morning, Coton cricket, Rad on the road, crash on the M11: you think they would close it down just in case. While Rad was applying war paint, adding padding and whatever else he does in his pre-match preparation our other straggler Rob McCorquodale arrived and took to the field.
George was bowling with control and aggression from the top end whilst Neil was wanging them down (his technical description) from the other. George soon picked up a 2nd wicket when the ball was spooned over his head and Sam took a fine catch running around from mid on. Neil was frustrated by a series of close misses and edges that – with the short boundary – flew away for 4 or in once case, 6. At least the regular searches for the ball in the bushes and beyond gave him a chance have a lie down, catch his breath and work on the tan.
The remaining opener finally got one top edge too many and skied the ball to a charging Alastair behind the stumps: 50-3, quickly scored on a ground where we thought we may be looking at chasing 200+.
Neil – refreshed from the regular hold ups in play – delivered a fast full pitch. The ball steepled into the air again and Neil let out a stentorian howl of “Neil’s…..”. We all looked aghast. Surely Neil has more faith in his fielders than to call for a caught and bowled when the ball is on its way to the wicket keeper? Apparently not. As Alastair safely gloved the ball we all proceeded to give Neil advice on his recent eye surgery. He should really ask for his money back!
This was the breakthrough we needed. 3 more wickets fell while Weston added just six runs: two to Scotch (who had replace George) and a further success for Neil. At this point Scotch had two runs for two wickets off three overs, both of those runs being wide. The 2nd wicket was completed courtesy of a very nonchalant catch by Adam in the gully.
Adam (can I play with my shirt over my shoulders?) replaced a perspiring Neil and joined in the fun with two quick wickets. The first removed a young Westonian who had just played an exquisite cover drive that drew nods of approval from assembled wizened fielders (some of whom hadn’t played as good a shot in 30 years or more). The second removed the plucky junior that had come in at number 11. Sensing a kill, Gabriel moved in to stand at arms length from the quivering young chap who obligingly prodded the ball into his hands. Really – we should report him to the Child Welfare Officer! In between these, Scotch had picked up a 3rd wicket. Weston had gone for just 90 runs in a little over half of their allotted overs with the wickets spread between the four bowlers. The catching was much better today than last week’s debacle, only a difficult C&B to George not sticking.
After tea, George and Gabriel marched out to the middle. George looked like he wanted to win the match inside 10 overs (on a promise, perhaps?) but succumbed to a catch off a loose shot in the 3rd over. Gabriel (“not quite a fantastic as The Fantastic Mr Fox”) Fox settled into his role as the sheet anchor and with Alastair pushed the score along and it was something of a surprise when Alastair played on. The bowling had not looked very threatening but two down soon became three.
Rob McC took Gabriel’s exhortation to “get well forward” to the spinner a little too far. The expert on the opinion on the side line was that Rob would either smack the bowler into the street, or get out. As it happened, by the time the ball nestled into the keeper’s gloves Rob was standing close to the bowler and Scotch after thinking long and hard (just how far was he out) gave the stumping.
Sam now joined Gabriel and contributed 11 to a quick partnership of 11 whilst Gabriel continued to admire the match going on around him. Adam was next up – having put his shirt on – and reeled off some fine shots including one drive that was probably even better than the one that we drooled about earlier.
Gabriel departed after another obdurate display of holding the innings together. It was exactly what was needed in the circumstance. As Neil pontificated: we have lots of “batsmen” that can score a quick 10 (“can” is important here, it contrasts nicely with “do”) but we have been lacking someone to play longer innings – now we have that person.
Adam was joined by Rab and the game was soon over – won by 5 wickets with 11 overs remaining. In the last partnership of 16, Rab made a gallant 0 not out.
So: fine bowling (& fielding) all around and a solid batting performance with Adam top scoring with 22 (not out) and Gabriel providing 21. The win moves us up one place (above NCI) and next week it’s on to Wilbrahams for the return. This marks the half way point in the season. How will we fare in the second half?
From the team that succumbed to Wilbrahams, Dave Simmons, Richard & Ross were unavailable, but Captain George was back and Adam was available again (although sadly, his shoes were not) and Sam stepped in following a couple of late scratches.
We lost the toss, and were asked to field first. We had noted the very short boundaries straight of the wicket and protected those at both ends. Like The Fellowship of Ring we had 9 to start the game, so the rest of the field were deployed around the bat to prevent runs (“one ring to stop the single…”). Eschewing the shoeless-ness of Hobbits, Adam scrounged some walking shoes from Gabriel: I hope the latter has some strong odour eaters. Anyway, George took the lack of fielders out of the equation by forcing the opening bat to play on: 0-1 in the 1st over.
Rad had now arrived at the ground. He had been delayed by a bad accident on the M11. Surely even the police have spotted the correlation by now? Saturday morning, Coton cricket, Rad on the road, crash on the M11: you think they would close it down just in case. While Rad was applying war paint, adding padding and whatever else he does in his pre-match preparation our other straggler Rob McCorquodale arrived and took to the field.
George was bowling with control and aggression from the top end whilst Neil was wanging them down (his technical description) from the other. George soon picked up a 2nd wicket when the ball was spooned over his head and Sam took a fine catch running around from mid on. Neil was frustrated by a series of close misses and edges that – with the short boundary – flew away for 4 or in once case, 6. At least the regular searches for the ball in the bushes and beyond gave him a chance have a lie down, catch his breath and work on the tan.
The remaining opener finally got one top edge too many and skied the ball to a charging Alastair behind the stumps: 50-3, quickly scored on a ground where we thought we may be looking at chasing 200+.
Neil – refreshed from the regular hold ups in play – delivered a fast full pitch. The ball steepled into the air again and Neil let out a stentorian howl of “Neil’s…..”. We all looked aghast. Surely Neil has more faith in his fielders than to call for a caught and bowled when the ball is on its way to the wicket keeper? Apparently not. As Alastair safely gloved the ball we all proceeded to give Neil advice on his recent eye surgery. He should really ask for his money back!
This was the breakthrough we needed. 3 more wickets fell while Weston added just six runs: two to Scotch (who had replace George) and a further success for Neil. At this point Scotch had two runs for two wickets off three overs, both of those runs being wide. The 2nd wicket was completed courtesy of a very nonchalant catch by Adam in the gully.
Adam (can I play with my shirt over my shoulders?) replaced a perspiring Neil and joined in the fun with two quick wickets. The first removed a young Westonian who had just played an exquisite cover drive that drew nods of approval from assembled wizened fielders (some of whom hadn’t played as good a shot in 30 years or more). The second removed the plucky junior that had come in at number 11. Sensing a kill, Gabriel moved in to stand at arms length from the quivering young chap who obligingly prodded the ball into his hands. Really – we should report him to the Child Welfare Officer! In between these, Scotch had picked up a 3rd wicket. Weston had gone for just 90 runs in a little over half of their allotted overs with the wickets spread between the four bowlers. The catching was much better today than last week’s debacle, only a difficult C&B to George not sticking.
After tea, George and Gabriel marched out to the middle. George looked like he wanted to win the match inside 10 overs (on a promise, perhaps?) but succumbed to a catch off a loose shot in the 3rd over. Gabriel (“not quite a fantastic as The Fantastic Mr Fox”) Fox settled into his role as the sheet anchor and with Alastair pushed the score along and it was something of a surprise when Alastair played on. The bowling had not looked very threatening but two down soon became three.
Rob McC took Gabriel’s exhortation to “get well forward” to the spinner a little too far. The expert on the opinion on the side line was that Rob would either smack the bowler into the street, or get out. As it happened, by the time the ball nestled into the keeper’s gloves Rob was standing close to the bowler and Scotch after thinking long and hard (just how far was he out) gave the stumping.
Sam now joined Gabriel and contributed 11 to a quick partnership of 11 whilst Gabriel continued to admire the match going on around him. Adam was next up – having put his shirt on – and reeled off some fine shots including one drive that was probably even better than the one that we drooled about earlier.
Gabriel departed after another obdurate display of holding the innings together. It was exactly what was needed in the circumstance. As Neil pontificated: we have lots of “batsmen” that can score a quick 10 (“can” is important here, it contrasts nicely with “do”) but we have been lacking someone to play longer innings – now we have that person.
Adam was joined by Rab and the game was soon over – won by 5 wickets with 11 overs remaining. In the last partnership of 16, Rab made a gallant 0 not out.
So: fine bowling (& fielding) all around and a solid batting performance with Adam top scoring with 22 (not out) and Gabriel providing 21. The win moves us up one place (above NCI) and next week it’s on to Wilbrahams for the return. This marks the half way point in the season. How will we fare in the second half?
Rad's teas highlight on gloomy day
The author of the 20/20 match report earlier in the blog wisely said “If you can't think of a way to begin a piece, use a quotation”. So I have, albeit not a very good one.
Why does it always rain at home games? In what was only our second appearance at The Rec this season we were once again greeted by leaden skies. The rain held off long enough to toss up. Captain Lucky had heard that the weather would improve later and chose to bat on the premise that it would be better for 11 Wilbrahamians to suffer in the rain, well, that and the fact that Rad was still making the teas.
Just as we were about to start the rains came down again. During our innings we had to come off twice more but in the end we did get a complete game in but unfortunately it ended in defeat.
Dave dropped down the order so Alastair opened with Gabriel. The latter – in true Boycottian mode – held the innings together with a careful and patient 32 whilst Alastair fell victim to a catch behind on 12. The young Wilbraham opening bowler was generating a lively pace and the Coton wicket offered him some good carry and bounce. Richard produced his best knock of the season to date and we progressed along steadily.
Gabriel was almost out to the last ball before the first of the two rain breaks. As the bowler ran in the heavens opened and unable to see the ball clearly a catch was spooned to mid off who obligingly dropped it. The umpire - who should have stopped play a few seconds earlier - was very relieved.
We reached 80-1 but then entered into the kind of collapse that we seemed to have put behind us this year. Gabriel’s occupation of the crease was finally brought to an end, Ross smashed his second ball back to mid on for a catch and Richard was adjudged LBW. In the blink of an eye we had lost 3 wickets for 7 runs. And it got worse, debutant Rabboni “Rab” Rabi was dismissed for 4, Rob top edged a hook to mid wicket and Dave Simmons was undone by a yorker. 3 wickets down on same score and 6 in 12 runs.
We woke Neil up from his jet lag to put some pads on. It was a bit of a give away when his request for a guard was “I’ll have the beef and a glass of red wine, please”. He was still able to bat through to the end whilst Dave Scotcher was run out going for a 3rd run on the last ball. We had batted through our 40 overs for 108-9, Gabriel and Richard (& extras) being the main contributors.
Rad had arrived with the teas and very good they were too. Thanks for that, I particularly liked the Branston sandwiches with a hint of ham.
We fielded in improving conditions although both Neil and Ross had problems with the foot holds and the whole team had problems catching. We were into double figures with the chances that went down and that would ultimately be our undoing. Neil was the first to be relieved and Dave broke the opening partnership. Ross soon added a 2nd – both had the foresight to hit the stumps and sensibly remove the dependency on fielders.
Ross, bowling well but struggling with footholds, then succumbed to a hamstring injury and had to leave the field. Paul Bradbury hasn’t been able to play this year due to back problems but he gamely agreed to substitute in the field whilst Rob took over bowling. Rob promptly removed himself from the attack in favour of a proper bowler.
In the stygian gloom more chances went down before we grabbed a couple more wickets. Scotch took a caught and bowled (how come bowlers never drop the ball from their own bowling), and finally a back peddling Pete Brooks held on to a catch to remove the Wilbraham opener who had by now had more lives than a whole litter of kittens. Pete’s adoring fan club were seriously impressed by the catch – I wonder if they realise just how rare and event they had witnessed?
Wilbrahams limped over the line with 4 wickets down and 4 overs to spare. The bonus points we had gathered were enough to keep us above Weston Colville (our next opponents) and Balsham (yet to win this season).
So, Captain Lucky’s lucky streak ran out and it’s with a sense of relief that he hands back the reigns to King George for the upcoming games. He was right about the weather though.
Why does it always rain at home games? In what was only our second appearance at The Rec this season we were once again greeted by leaden skies. The rain held off long enough to toss up. Captain Lucky had heard that the weather would improve later and chose to bat on the premise that it would be better for 11 Wilbrahamians to suffer in the rain, well, that and the fact that Rad was still making the teas.
Just as we were about to start the rains came down again. During our innings we had to come off twice more but in the end we did get a complete game in but unfortunately it ended in defeat.
Dave dropped down the order so Alastair opened with Gabriel. The latter – in true Boycottian mode – held the innings together with a careful and patient 32 whilst Alastair fell victim to a catch behind on 12. The young Wilbraham opening bowler was generating a lively pace and the Coton wicket offered him some good carry and bounce. Richard produced his best knock of the season to date and we progressed along steadily.
Gabriel was almost out to the last ball before the first of the two rain breaks. As the bowler ran in the heavens opened and unable to see the ball clearly a catch was spooned to mid off who obligingly dropped it. The umpire - who should have stopped play a few seconds earlier - was very relieved.
We reached 80-1 but then entered into the kind of collapse that we seemed to have put behind us this year. Gabriel’s occupation of the crease was finally brought to an end, Ross smashed his second ball back to mid on for a catch and Richard was adjudged LBW. In the blink of an eye we had lost 3 wickets for 7 runs. And it got worse, debutant Rabboni “Rab” Rabi was dismissed for 4, Rob top edged a hook to mid wicket and Dave Simmons was undone by a yorker. 3 wickets down on same score and 6 in 12 runs.
We woke Neil up from his jet lag to put some pads on. It was a bit of a give away when his request for a guard was “I’ll have the beef and a glass of red wine, please”. He was still able to bat through to the end whilst Dave Scotcher was run out going for a 3rd run on the last ball. We had batted through our 40 overs for 108-9, Gabriel and Richard (& extras) being the main contributors.
Rad had arrived with the teas and very good they were too. Thanks for that, I particularly liked the Branston sandwiches with a hint of ham.
We fielded in improving conditions although both Neil and Ross had problems with the foot holds and the whole team had problems catching. We were into double figures with the chances that went down and that would ultimately be our undoing. Neil was the first to be relieved and Dave broke the opening partnership. Ross soon added a 2nd – both had the foresight to hit the stumps and sensibly remove the dependency on fielders.
Ross, bowling well but struggling with footholds, then succumbed to a hamstring injury and had to leave the field. Paul Bradbury hasn’t been able to play this year due to back problems but he gamely agreed to substitute in the field whilst Rob took over bowling. Rob promptly removed himself from the attack in favour of a proper bowler.
In the stygian gloom more chances went down before we grabbed a couple more wickets. Scotch took a caught and bowled (how come bowlers never drop the ball from their own bowling), and finally a back peddling Pete Brooks held on to a catch to remove the Wilbraham opener who had by now had more lives than a whole litter of kittens. Pete’s adoring fan club were seriously impressed by the catch – I wonder if they realise just how rare and event they had witnessed?
Wilbrahams limped over the line with 4 wickets down and 4 overs to spare. The bonus points we had gathered were enough to keep us above Weston Colville (our next opponents) and Balsham (yet to win this season).
So, Captain Lucky’s lucky streak ran out and it’s with a sense of relief that he hands back the reigns to King George for the upcoming games. He was right about the weather though.
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